10 Simple Truths…

Posted on February 6th, 2006 by Christine.
Categories: Hilarious, Top Tens.

1. Why does a “slight tax increase” cost you $200 and a “significant tax cut” saves you 30 cents?

2. Why can we locate one cow in America that has Mad Cow disease out of six million American cows, yet we can’t locate thousands of illegal immigrants or six terrorists? Maybe we should put the Dept. of Agriculture in charge of Homeland Security and Immigration.

3. Why do we pay “Financial Advisors” to save us money? I know how to save money… start by firing your Financial Advisor…

4. The only sure thing in life is… whatever the fine print says, you aren’t going to like it.

5. Money can’t buy happiness… but it is more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than it is in a Camry.

6. Time heals all wounds… with the exception of amputations.

7. Give a man a fish, and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he’ll eat for the rest of his life… or at least until he over-fishes the waters and causes yet another species of fish to become extinct. And then he’ll probably wish you’d just given him a fish because at least he’d be able to eat that day.

8. Orange juice and oreo cookies will never taste good together no matter how hungry and thirsty you are.

9. Why do people only offer a penny for your thoughts, but when you give them your thoughts, you’re putting in your two cents? It seems like you’re losing money on that deal.

10. In order for a cop to catch up with you when you’re speeding, doesn’t he have to break the speed law too?

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