10 Things Guaranteed to Piss Your Boyfriend Off When You’re Already Fighting

10. If he hangs up on you because you are “bitching,” “nagging,” or “screaming in his ear,” hit redial over and over, calling him back until he is forced to unplug his phone, or turn his cell completely off. This is good because without a working phone, he will have plenty of time to think about everything he did wrong without distracting calls from his friends.

9. If he makes a good point while you’re arguing– or has a believable, reasonable explanation for whatever fucked up decision he made– bring up all the fucked up things he’s done in the past that he didn’t have an explanation for. This tactic is good, because he will be caught off guard and forget about the point he just made allowing you to move on to the other things about him that bug you.

8. If he says something that hurts your feelings, start making accusations as quickly as you can. The more ambiguous, the better. Like if he says, “You are being a real bitch,” respond with, “I knew you never really cared about me,” or “I should have known you were just using me the whole time,” or “Why are you always so mean?” Those are general enough that he can’t really defend his behavior with anything concrete.

7. If you are in a fight when you’re in his car, tell him to pull over and let you out. When he refuses by saying something like, “Are you insane?! I’m not going to let you out on the freeway…” put your hand on the door handle like you might actually open the door while he’s driving. After all… it’s his fault for calling you insane. On the flip side, if you aren’t on the freeway and he does pull over to let you out, you should give him a shocked look and say, “I can’t believe you were actually going to dump me off in the middle of nowhere and make me walk! What kind of person are you???” If he isn’t at your heightened emotional state yet, that phrase will probably get him there.

6. If he uses a word you don’t like… like “cunt” for example, and you happen to have a sharp instrument in your hand, go ahead and stab him. Being as that men will never go to the hospital even when they need to… chances are, he’ll just slap a bandage on that puppy and ride it out. Men are typically bigger, stronger, and heavier than we are, so it’s important for us to threaten with a weapon when the situation calls for it. After the surprise leaves their stunned eyes, they usually tend to get pretty mad… but that’s okay, because you were mad about that word he used. He should have known better.

5. If you happen to realize half way through the argument that you might actually be in the wrong on this one… do not apologize. Backing down will show them that they are, at times, correct. Instead, change your strategy and say something to the affect of “You always think it’s my fault, don’t you?” or “Of course, I’m wrong. You’re never wrong. You’re perfect. I’m a horrible, vile person.” Sometimes they get so baffled by the sudden strategic switch, that they just stare at you. If his jaw starts to tighten and untighten rapidly, you’ve probably succeeded in your mission. I like to call this one the “pinch hitter.”

4. If he tells you that he’s done talking about whatever you’re talking about for the night, whatever you do, don’t stop talking about it. “I’m done talking about this,” actually means “I’m getting tired and my defenses aren’t up to par.” If you really pull out the big guns now, you’re sure to win… wearing your opponent down works in boxing, and if your man is punch-drunk, you’ll come out a victor.

3. If he kicks you out of his house, don’t leave. Sit down on the sofa or position yourself far away from the door. This tends to put them over the edge.

2. If he did something that was really insensitive and after an hour of fighting, he finally apologizes… punish him for not apologizing off the bat by pretending that you either didn’t hear the apology, or that you took it as sarcastic on his part even when you know it isn’t.

1. If you realize you’re wrong, but your fight has continued for quite some time, and you’ve been screaming and yelling for a significant portion of it… a really good idea is to suddenly say in a super calm voice, “I have no idea what you’re so upset about. What’s wrong?” and pretend that the whole fight hadn’t even happened. They will stop. Their shoulders will sink. They will be very quiet. They won’t know what to do… they won’t say anything, not wanting to risk getting into a fight again, but they’ll be baffled. Men are usually baffled anyway… so you’re just helping them return to their natural emotional state. ;-)

DISCLAIMER: Now… before I start getting “hate” posts… you need to realize that at times, Christopher, I may have done some of these things during our fights, but I promise that none of them were premeditated. When I decided to write this post, I came up with the things that Christopher told me annoy him to death during our arguments, and then figured out ways to justify them and make them into positives. I’m just the kind of person that always sees the glass half full. ;-)

119 thoughts on “10 Things Guaranteed to Piss Your Boyfriend Off When You’re Already Fighting

  1. 1. Everything on this list has happened.. in fact Christine has developed a way of doing multiple items on this list each time we fight. Does anybody now question why I occassionaly hit her?

  2. i must agree, most of the things on this list worked to my advantage. and it really cracked me up reading this and relating to most of it :) )

  3. One of my ex’s used to use several of these tactics, and for the most part I would get really angry… But my prison counsellor helped me get in touch with my feelings about her… Now that I’m paroled, I’ve come to terms with how she treated me… And why she had to die… I do miss her sometimes though…

  4. Wow, I am REALLY glad that I am not YOUR boyfriend. Get a life and quit whining about everything. Life is tough and maybe you have to give more than you get before you see a good result.

  5. Yeah… laughing at yourself and poking fun, and taking things in a light hearted way are bad, bad, bad… right, ManlyGeek? God forbid anyone should have a sense of humor. Funny thing is… you’re the only one who isn’t getting the joke…

  6. WOW! now i know why she stabbed me i figured she just was a tad bit annoyed by the word “wench” well now i`m armless and am typing with my nose…… i think i should`ve learned the first time (don`t scream: “stupid wench!” after you were just stabbed that calls for bigger things to be used (ie chainsaw!). I geuss it worked though everytime i think about saying wench i just think about how sore my nose is from typing….

  7. Love this post… Christine I have used these all at one time or another lol… I love that your putting it out there. And proving to me that Im not the only one ;)

  8. If you have a good man in your life like I do, you both can work things out by talking and listening to one another. Your advice causes “more unnecessary” problems for you both. If you can’t get along, then go your own seperate ways. Love is better than arguing and fighting over “Petty” things.

  9. Congrats on having a good man in your life, Anon… I hope that you indeed hang on to a guy like that and he doesn’t at some point, decide to leave you for a girl with a sense of humor.

  10. touche christine… a sense of humor is most definitely needed for any relationship :) If you cant laugh at yourself..then what fun will life be ya know!?!

  11. Let me just say that after reading this…if you haven’t already please read when it’s acceptable to hit a woman! Here is the the answer to that question justified 5x over. please allow me to especially refer to number 6 on christine’s list, b/c most defintely if someone male or female threatens or goes as far to stab me with that knife please believe they are getting hit!

  12. so you’re saying if the guy is lying about being stabbed then is it ok to hit you? The answer is no. you can’t lie about something like that without proof..blood, wound![-(

  13. Actually… I was saying that if the guy lies about me stabbing him, is it acceptable for *me* to hit *him* (considering I’m very small and weak and probably won’t hurt him anyway) since the decision to go ahead and stab him would make (1) his lie true, and (2) me seem like I’m a bitch or something… ;-)

  14. :) those are actually some good ideas cuz my boyfriend is being an ass and is always purposely trying to piss me off and he is always pushing my buttons but you give good advice
    Thanx
    Laura

  15. Thanks, Laura… I know those ten things are effective because at some point I needed to use every single one of them to train Christopher. He’s much more careful now about “pushing my buttons.” ;-)

  16. after she does these things 2 you try this,wait three days for the anger 2 settle, then try and insert a finger with ben gay on it, second ass fuck your side piece then receive oral no post wash third and final option is the low key one, rodeo fuck, what is it you ask? well hit her doggie style and bend up and whisper in her ear that her sister or bestfriend were better and try to hang on inserted for 8 seconds’ ok i said it was low key not easy

  17. well i can’t say anything about christine but her sister blew me so well that i had to go to the hospital to get the sheets removed from my ass

  18. shit eric!!!Just the sheets removed from your ass you got off lucky bro..she did me so well i had to remodel my entire bedroom…i’m talking ripping up carpet and redoing the wallpaper! God was she good!:o

  19. Hey Guys…

    We ended up deleting a few comments on this post. We suspect that there was an underage girl chiming in. In an effort to discourage her (and other) kids from continuing to visit a site that is intended for adults only and one they have no fucking business being on (thanks to their lazy, fat-ass parents who are too caught up in their own pathetic lives to have time to actually monitor what their children are doing on the internet), we’ve deleted her comments as well as other peoples’ comments that responded to her about her asanine situation with a boyfriend that runs away from her says she has cooties. Anyway, I apologize to everyone whose comments we deleted (Eric, Keith, and My Crazy View). After discussing it, Christopher and I felt this was the best way to nip this shit in the bud and keep this site what it was intended to be– a fun, thought-provoking battle of the sexes site for people who graduated beyond that stage of life where you first learn what a wet dream is. Thanks for understanding. You guys rock! :-)

  20. twinkle twinkl little star
    how i wonder what u r
    up above the world so high
    like a diamond in the sy
    twinkle twinkle little star
    how i wonder what you are

  21. I agree with your decisions on how to admin your site…it makes sense and was a just move! Good Job. And fiffi what the hell are you wasting time posting childrens rhymes for. If you are 18 please act like it and write meaningful comments please. I know todays education is substandard compared to when we all went to school, but I’m sure you can formulate complete sentences etc.

  22. I think you should do a section on “How to get your boyfriend to dump you”. I want to move onto more different kinds of guys but the guy I have is so attatched to me. He’s all the time clingy and i don’t know how to break up with him without him doing drugs and shit like that.

  23. You want him to dump you??? Stop giving head. It’s that easy…

    Ahh. Sorry… I’ll be serious now… Cass wants to move on to more different kinds of guys… she’s apparently not that into the cling-on that she has now. And one that will do drugs if she breaks up… first off… if he does drugs because you break up with him, it’s not your problem. He’s a big boy and if he can’t make decisions that are good for himself then he needs to learn how to… and it’s not your responsibility to teach him that. Kinda sounds like you’re allowing him to be co-dependent. That’s not doing him any favors and its obviously not what you want either. My advice is to just be honest about why you want to move on and let him deal with it however he decides to. For someone who does drugs or has a drinking problem, pretty much anything is an excuse to get loaded. If its not you breaking up with him, it’ll be some other reason. You can’t stop it, so don’t even try.

  24. Cass.. I agree with Christine any guy who turns to drugs because of breakup needs punched in the head.. (hopefully he turns to things like fresh pussy). What he does after you break up.. not your problem.

  25. Why do I feel I have to once again bring the question of age up here? This sounds like a very adolescent approach to dealing with breaking up in a relationship. “Rational” thinking adults don’t quite go down that road b/c of a breakup. It takes a lil’ more tramatic experience. I mean with all the people out in the world, breaking up with one person should not lead any “sane” adult to life threating behaviors. However I do agree with both christine and chris, and whatever transpires after you have dumped his is not of your concern. Dump him “honestly” and move on…for your health!

  26. Honestly… I don’t know that self-destructive behavior is necessarily linked with age. There are lots of adults that abuse drugs and alcohol or kill themselves. And there are a lot of young people (who aren’t particularly more mature than others) who don’t fall completely apart when someone breaks up with them. It does come down more to being rational or not… but either way, its a moot point and people who are catered to because the other person fears they’ll do something crazy if they leave, are in a vicious cycle. They’ll never have a healthy relationship until they, themselves, are healthy enough to be in one. And in a healthy relationship, no one falls off the wagon because the other person left.

  27. true and i do see yor points christine, but I work with kids..and I do see this as more adolescant,mid-teens kind of shit than a mature adult’s way of dealing with a breakup. Just an observation from my line of work for the past few years. however i do see how some adults can revert to adolescant behavior and do dumb shit so I guess it is just a moot point.

  28. I’m glad you brought that up, Keith. I actually have a theory on this. I think that the way high school is structured (in that everything about your life– academic success, social life, dating, etc.) is so small and not diverse, that when something happens there– like a break up– it feels to the kid like his whole world is collapsing. And in a way it is… at least more than an adult. If an adult has a break up, it may be difficult, but they still have their friends, their work, their gym partner, their softball league. Those things aren’t all connected, so there is a way for them to get away from the constant reminder and pain of a break up. For kids in high school… it affects every part of your life because your entire life is wrapped up in one institution that you cannot get away from. That’s why I think teens deal with this on a much more dramatic level than most adults.

  29. ok stupid, as someone who knows many people who have been to jail, do you know what a fifi is? no , didn’t think so it is a home made pocket vagina you fucking dunce! go back to reading teen sluts and fall back on something sharp

  30. same difference…the word is what it is! Anyway fiffi i thought I told yo not to comment on anything unless it was going to be inteligent and on topic! No one gives a shit about whether or not you like cheese, and Georgia Sucks…they fucking lost to WVU at home in their own bowl game!

  31. ok fiffi you are living up to your name now. But i do agree with you the falcons do suck b/c they have a worthless qb at the helm. You can take the rest of your grade school insults and save them for you and your gay friends at school they don’t work on me.
    Mom jokes went out with the late 80’s. I went to college at The Pennsylvania State University who finished 3rd overall this year, and who would destroy the bulldogs any day of the week! Who won the 1982 sugar bowl b/w PSU and GA for the national title? Oh yeah it was PSU…as far as the nfl I live in Pittsburgh bitch! Who just won the super bowl? I’ve been to ATL and Pittsburgh is better than ATL and buckhead any weekend. But you wouldn’t know anything about a real nightlife since you can’t party with the grown ups!
    Stick to your pre-teen adolescant games and wanna be parties if you even know how to party. I said it before I’ll say it again come strong or don’t come at all…keep your childish shit comments to yourself and quit wasting our time. If you can’t form intelectual thoughts and formulate sentences go play where’s waldo on http://www.nickjr.com l-)

  32. I think you’re giving him/her exactly what they want. Just ignore stupid shit like that..whoever it is, their attention span probably isn’t long enough to stick around if they aren’t getting attention. I didn’t see any reason for you to defend where you live or your school, etc. because why argue with someone who says “you suck fuckin eggs bitch”? That’s ridiculous. And as an intelligent being, I’d just like to interject that Georgia DOESN’T suck. Fiffi or whatever the fuck it wants to be called probably doesn’t know shit about GA, because you have to have at least higher than a 1200 on the SAT, and I doubt they’re out of the 6th grade. I don’t know shit about Penn State, but I do know that UGA kicks ass…and besides football, it’s an awesome school. The falcons have always sucked. People in Atlanta don’t even attend those games unless they are winning, which is rare.

  33. Oh yea….so I looked up Penn’s records…and they’ve only played GA once ever. Sure they won, but they’ve also lost to Georgia Tech 3 times, won 4 times. As much as I hate to break this to ya’ll…GA Tech is really bad. Really. Until recently at least.

  34. It wasn’t really defending as much as rubbing it in….Actually truth be told I don’t mind georgia too much it isn’t taht bad, and I do have a few friends from there! I wouldn’t live there though! If I’m going south it’s either to South Carolina or Florida.

  35. I’ve been to Atlanta and all I remember about it was that it was fucking hot there! I do think it would be fun to go all the way to Georgia at some point for no other reason than just to eat a peach. That would be seriously cool. :-)

  36. But really, Georgia is know for its football,
    Rappers, and the peaches. but who
    gives a damn bout them peaches!
    wat i meant by my real name being fiffi is
    thats my nickname my real name is too hard to pronounce.
    its acytually fadanie.
    ya its really weird so for a nickname is fiffi!

  37. Thanx for clearing that up! Eric will be quite pleased to know that. Also I think if Georgia was better known for it’s football in the past b/c they aren’t doing sohot as of late…you relied to heavily on shockley to carry the load and as soon as he went down your team folded and ruined a perfect season losing to Alabama of all teams! Ouch! But I will give GA some respect tey aren’t that bad, I’m just saying they are exactly like the ATL Falcons One dimensional. you shut down the qb you win the game! Sorry if yo don’t agree, but if you don’t agree you don’t know football!

  38. Preethi… welcome to the site. Loved your blog by the way! We don’t tackle issues quite as seriously or truthfully as you do though… I’m sure you’ve already noticed that. But I am interested in knowing something… maybe Haas or aJ could explain it to me too… what is this holiday where you guys paint each other and why do you do it? I saw the pic on your site and I was just curious.

  39. fiffi much respect..youneed to stick by your squad(s) through thick and thin. I was a yankee fan my entire life, and they fucking sucked for all of mychildhood, and most of my teen years…the steelers were always good enough to be in contention of the playoffs except for a couple years, and the penguins well…they had 3 great seasons in a row. As for PSU well we know what happened there

  40. just surfed on here and thought the argument tactics were quality. read the responses and i have to ask – is English not fiffi’s first language? and if it is her first language – buy a dictionary! and a brain!

  41. hey jen and welcome..you must be new here..Thanx for the kind words, and if it’s anything we can do here is argue properly, effective, and accurately ;)

  42. Jen is a Belvedere or Grey Goose and Cranberry good enough or are you a Martini Shaken not stirred Bond girl? Actually Christine….I was giving her advanced warning…forewarned is forearmed! Unless she is hot,are you hot Jen, cause then…. ;)

  43. =)) That reminds me of a quote, Keith… namely this one:

    “The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.” – Bertrand Russell

    ;-)

  44. who won that raquetball game last night? oooohhhhhhhh noooooooo! ;) j/k all is fair right? I know you are laughing on the inside right now, even though you feel that little fire buring inside you to cuss me out right now…I feel it coming..let the competitive edge out…I know it’s in you which is something I give you respect for. Most woman I know don’t have it…it’s actually quite appealing ;)

  45. omg your so right about everything but what do you do when your pissed off because you and your boyfriend were suppsoed to talk and u got into a arugment and he hung up on you and then he goes out with his friend how do you get even then ? please email me asap at liddleoneox143@aol.com thankss

  46. Gianna,

    This works for both sexes.. don’t do anything. If you act like you don’t care… and it is irrelevant what his / her behavior is it will probably work out great for you. ;)

  47. ok, so these are the arguments that women use, where are the ones that men us? Christopher, you better start typing. lol :d

  48. I must say that these actually work because i sorta use them all at once on my boyfriend because I like to piss him off sometimes lol…but I soon learned that he really does love me and i love him too and even though we enjoy pissing each other off, stuff like this can help people see if the other person in their life cares about them or not so I would recommend trying these creative tactics. (y)

  49. The threatening to jump out of the car on the highway is pretty effective, even more effective if you actually take off your seat belt and open the door a tad bit aha…ha

  50. this has a couple of good advices but some are just shit, no offence, i personally dont like lowering myself, if my bf tells me to get out of the house its like over, i wont go back and sit on the sofa :p (w)

  51. Haha, this cracked me up from beginning to end. I’ve done most of these things but I wouldn’t encourage it!! (y)

  52. 7 doesn’t work on me

    but the rest does
    1 theres a 50-50 chance that it’ll work
    the other 50 would be that i would be really really really pissed off

  53. 10. If he hangs up on you because you are “bitching,” “nagging,” or “screaming in his ear,” hit redial over and over, calling him back until he is forced to unplug his phone, or turn his cell completely off. This is good because without a working phone, he will have plenty of time to think about everything he did wrong without distracting calls from his friends.

    She did this last night. I hung up. I turned my phone off. Now she is apologising.

    9. If he makes a good point while you’re arguing– or has a believable, reasonable explanation for whatever fucked up decision he made– bring up all the fucked up things he’s done in the past that he didn’t have an explanation for. This tactic is good, because he will be caught off guard and forget about the point he just made allowing you to move on to the other things about him that bug you.

    I haven’t done anything wrong in the past. The only thing that gets brought up is that I dumped her and she came back begging.

    8. If he says something that hurts your feelings, start making accusations as quickly as you can. The more ambiguous, the better. Like if he says, “You are being a real bitch,” respond with, “I knew you never really cared about me,” or “I should have known you were just using me the whole time,” or “Why are you always so mean?” Those are general enough that he can’t really defend his behavior with anything concrete.

    If I get those types of childish responses I tell her to fuck off. Fire with fire.

    7. If you are in a fight when you’re in his car, tell him to pull over and let you out. When he refuses by saying something like, “Are you insane?! I’m not going to let you out on the freeway…” put your hand on the door handle like you might actually open the door while he’s driving. After all… it’s his fault for calling you insane. On the flip side, if you aren’t on the freeway and he does pull over to let you out, you should give him a shocked look and say, “I can’t believe you were actually going to dump me off in the middle of nowhere and make me walk! What kind of person are you???” If he isn’t at your heightened emotional state yet, that phrase will probably get him there.

    Motorbike for me. This happened last week, she was drunk being a childish twat AGAIN. Took her to a field in the middle of no-where so we could duke it out. She stomped off. I left, followed by screams “WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING”. Umm, sorry? You stomped off. I think you will find I’m in control here. Dumbass.

    6. If he uses a word you don’t like… like “cunt” for example, and you happen to have a sharp instrument in your hand, go ahead and stab him. Being as that men will never go to the hospital even when they need to… chances are, he’ll just slap a bandage on that puppy and ride it out. Men are typically bigger, stronger, and heavier than we are, so it’s important for us to threaten with a weapon when the situation calls for it. After the surprise leaves their stunned eyes, they usually tend to get pretty mad… but that’s okay, because you were mad about that word he used. He should have known better.

    I know karate, and if threatened in such a way, I would do what is necessary. Its only fair.

    5. If you happen to realize half way through the argument that you might actually be in the wrong on this one… do not apologize. Backing down will show them that they are, at times, correct. Instead, change your strategy and say something to the affect of “You always think it’s my fault, don’t you?” or “Of course, I’m wrong. You’re never wrong. You’re perfect. I’m a horrible, vile person.” Sometimes they get so baffled by the sudden strategic switch, that they just stare at you. If his jaw starts to tighten and untighten rapidly, you’ve probably succeeded in your mission. I like to call this one the “pinch hitter.”

    It just makes us think “wow, what a stubborn twat. why am I with her if she’s unable to admit when shes wrong, what a child.”

    4. If he tells you that he’s done talking about whatever you’re talking about for the night, whatever you do, don’t stop talking about it. “I’m done talking about this,” actually means “I’m getting tired and my defenses aren’t up to par.” If you really pull out the big guns now, you’re sure to win… wearing your opponent down works in boxing, and if your man is punch-drunk, you’ll come out a victor.

    If that happens, I leave. If its gotten to the point where I want to stop talking about it. Its as good as over, anything after is a waste of time and I could be doing something far more productive.

    3. If he kicks you out of his house, don’t leave. Sit down on the sofa or position yourself far away from the door. This tends to put them over the edge.

    I’m a man. I have upper body strength. Lets play aeroplane. Although, I’m yet to experience this yet, I don’t really dare bring her home to the rest of the family. She might smell alcohol.

    2. If he did something that was really insensitive and after an hour of fighting, he finally apologizes… punish him for not apologizing off the bat by pretending that you either didn’t hear the apology, or that you took it as sarcastic on his part even when you know it isn’t.

    Oh well, I gave you an apology. If you don’t want it or believe it, that’s your problem.

    1. If you realize you’re wrong, but your fight has continued for quite some time, and you’ve been screaming and yelling for a significant portion of it… a really good idea is to suddenly say in a super calm voice, “I have no idea what you’re so upset about. What’s wrong?” and pretend that the whole fight hadn’t even happened. They will stop. Their shoulders will sink. They will be very quiet. They won’t know what to do… they won’t say anything, not wanting to risk getting into a fight again, but they’ll be baffled. Men are usually baffled anyway… so you’re just helping them return to their natural emotional state.

    Fuck that. I’ll tell her exactly what she did. Over and over until she is fucking sorry.

    DISCLAIMER: Now… before I start getting “hate” posts… you need to realize that at times, Christopher, I may have done some of these things during our fights, but I promise that none of them were premeditated. When I decided to write this post, I came up with the things that Christopher told me annoy him to death during our arguments, and then figured out ways to justify them and make them into positives. I’m just the kind of person that always sees the glass half full.

    Apologies about all this. I googled “help, my girlfriend is insane when drunk” and found this site. Don’t really know what to do. She’s awesome sober, but once a week now, she has to get really drunk and act like a toddler.

  54. gotta add something … if you are ranting about a corner your guy has cut (either to save time or because of general impatience) .. keep an eye on the time …. and when your tired of ranting end it with this short and awesome reminder ” just think [insert pet name] if you had just taken the extra [ however much time he saved] you could have saved yourself [your rant time] of me having to yell at you for it.

    it really pisses them off because its true and impossible refute

  55. Oh wow this is exactly what my girlfirnd use to do. Its like reading my relationship after going through it. Ah but im in a mess roight now i done something wrong she says That i dont care for her when i do bit now she doesnt want to talk to me see me any contact at all but she does say she loves ne. Someone help me i dont know whats going on or what to do??? ;(

  56. hahaha just reading all of the arguments that happen on this website reminds me of when i was 17 and my boyfriend used to butt heads all of the time about pretty much everything and this is all really good advise and im thinking that i might be pissing of my husband this week some time watch out

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