2005 | Battle of the Sexes : Chris vs Chris

Originally posted on June 1st, 2005

It seems Christine started a trend on the web and now people are writing about their relationship with there cell phone all over that place, at first she was offended but then she realized that plagiary is the best compliment… or something like that so in the hopes that I’m paying her a compliment I’m going to write about my experience with my trashy little cell phone and hopefully plagiarize a little bit in the process.

Unlike Christine, I have never gotten along with my cell phone, it is has been rocky from the beginning, I somehow knew when I picked her up on the corner of Crenshaw and Compton Blvd, (a place where white people should never venture) that she was going to end up being a trick whore with a crack addiction but I like my toys and I like my toys hack, crack and tricked out.. So [...]

28 Comment(s)

This is so fucked up… but funny…

Posted on December 31st, 2005 by Christine.
Categories: Crazy Pictures, Hilarious.

Finding Nemo.

10 comments.

Christine’s 10 New Year’s Resolutions for 2006

Posted on December 31st, 2005 by Christine.
Categories: Top Tens.

1. Lose 15 pounds by March even if I have to go back to my high school days when I used to work out for two hours every morning and puke after every third meal. I’m just kidding… sort of.
2. Buy an Audi A4 cabriolet even though Christopher swears I’ll never take the top down. We live in L.A., for crying out loud. I’m all about taking tops down.
3. Adopt a kitten. January 2006 marks the one year after having to put my kitty to sleep. He was like a baby to me and putting him down was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I still miss him …

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11 comments.

Christopher’s Top 10 New Year Resolutions

Posted on December 31st, 2005 by Christopher.
Categories: Top Tens.

10. Post at least twice a week on Chris vs Chris
9. Visit my family and friends in PA more often.
8. Go to the Penn State / Notre Dame Game
7. Not lose my temper with Christine
6. Learn to program in JAVA
5. Eat more Veal, maybe even kill my own baby cow and freeze it
4. Gain 5 pounds and go to the gym four times a week
3. Attempt to avoid making Christine insanely emotional
2. Take some big chances and then smile if they don’t pay off.
1. Avoid any stabbings from Christine in 2006

9 comments.

I Would Pay for Christine to Have This Enhancement Surgery..

Posted on December 30th, 2005 by Christopher.
Categories: Hilarious.

The Ultimate Enhancement Surgery

13 comments.

10 Crazy Things You Might Not Know..

Posted on December 30th, 2005 by Christopher.
Categories: Hilarious.

1. The phenomenon of male lactation in humans has become more common in recent years due to the use of medications that stimulate a human male?s mammary glands. Male lactation is most commonly caused by hormonal treatments given to men suffering from prostate cancer. It is also possible for males (and females) to induce lactation through constant massage and simulated ?sucking? of the nipple over a long period of time (months).

2. A chicken can be hypnotized, or put into a trance by holding its head down against the ground, and continuously drawing a line along the ground with a stick or a finger, starting at …