2005 | March | Battle of the Sexes : Chris vs Chris

10 Ways to Piss a Guy Off When He's Watching Football

Originally posted on March 11th, 2005

Stand in front of the t.v. and show him the routine you learned at 5th grade cheerleading camp that’s sort of similar to the one that the Raiderettes do during half-time. Except… make sure that half-time is now over, and if you can’t remember the whole routine, just start over from the beginning.
Cheer really loud and jump up and down when the other team scores. When he asks you why you’re cheering for the other team, just say you like their uniforms better.
Every time a team makes a first, second, or third down, ask him, “Now who has the ball?”
Tell him that you were offered box seats to the game because your boss wasn’t going to use them, but you turned them down. When he gives you a look like he doesn’t [...]
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73 Comment(s)

The Top Ten Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong

Posted on March 18th, 2005 by Christopher.
Categories: Top Tens.

Homosexuality is not natural. Real people always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are still property, blacks still aren’t supposed to marry whites.
Straight marriage will be less meaningful if homosexual marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Homosexual

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16 comments.

Christopher’s Ten Golden Thoughts To Live By

Posted on March 17th, 2005 by Christopher.
Categories: Top Tens.

1. Don’t depend on others for your happiness.
2. Don’t do something tomorrow, that you can do the day afterwards!
3. Sunshine wouldn’t be special if it wasn’t for rain.
4. Have a sense of humor, life is short laugh at how ironic it is.
5. Women are thick and hard to reach be patient they get it eventually.
6. Karma does not exist so don’t sweat it take care of yourself and be happy.
7. Pledge friendship only to those who are worthy.
8. Being doubtful is better then being certain.
9. Keep your family far away and your enemies closer.
10. If you have a choice never have a job.

3 comments.

For the Baby Killers

Posted on March 17th, 2005 by Christopher.
Categories: Crazy Pictures, Current Events & Politics.

Some great sayings for those of us with morals on the lower then average side, and don’t think I don’t support a womans right to choose.. because she can choose what she is cooking for dinner every damn day if she likes.

8 comments.

Spelling not so important?

Posted on March 17th, 2005 by Christopher.
Categories: Hilarious.

Why spelling does not fucking matter.

I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt.

Sea I tlod u slpeling ditn’t mateter Chirstina so bolw me.

66 comments.

Is Your Girlfriend Insecure About Her Looks? You Can Help!

Posted on March 16th, 2005 by Christine.
Categories: Sex and Relationships.

Women, by nature, are very self-critical about their looks. If you don’t believe me, just look at the amount of money we spend on getting our hair done, skin products, weight-loss programs, clothes, and plastic surgeries each year. “Being more beautiful” is big business in America, and our culture perpetuates the notion that if women aren’t beautiful, they won’t be successful, they won’t keep a man, and they won’t be respected. So… it’s not entirely our fault that we sometimes become obsessed with our appearances, develop eating disorders, and wind up being very insecure.