Monthly Archives: June 2005

It seems Christine started a trend on the web and now people are writing about their relationship with there cell phone all over that place, at first she was offended but then she realized that plagiary is the best compliment… or something like that so in the hopes that I’m paying her a compliment I’m going to write about my experience with my trashy little cell phone and hopefully plagiarize a little bit in the process.

Unlike Christine, I have never gotten along with my cell phone, it is has been rocky from the beginning, I somehow knew when I picked her up on the corner of Crenshaw and Compton Blvd, (a place where white people should never venture) that she was going to end up being a trick whore with a crack addiction but I like my toys and I like my toys hack, crack and tricked out.. So I couldn’t resist. Needless to say she has been flakey pain in the ass from the second I laid eyes on her.. Not to say that she doesn’t have a banging body or great qualities… It’s just that we have a complete lack of communication on so many levels.

She also has serious fucking jealousy issues.. The second I dial or answer a phone call that happens to be a woman.. She starts acting up.. It doesn’t matter if it the woman is my mother, Christine or one of the girls I meant at the local strip bar.. She will suddenly just interrupt us and when I look down at her she is glowing as to say.. “Pay attention to me Chris…” at that point I tend to inflict pain on her.. I’m starting to think she likes pain.. I mean I don’t like being abusive.. But I find myself lashing out at her all the time.. Throwing her to the ground and kicking her needlessly… it doesn’t help the situation.. but I guess it makes me feel better.. altho it is a very unhealthy cycle.. at least for her.

I don’t know where this relationship is headed.. Really I’m not very committed to her at all.. But hey she has nobody to blame but herself right?? Right??? Well either way.. After she see’s this post.. I doubt I’ll be able to make a phone call to anyone without her giving me some type of static. Continue reading →