2005 | November | Battle of the Sexes : Chris vs Chris

10 Things Every Man Needs to Know About His Woman

Originally posted on July 13th, 2005

Here are the ten things every man needs to know about his woman…

10. She does not care about the play-by-play details of your multiplayer battles on Halo 2.
If she cared, she’d be sitting on the sofa next to you, cheering you on as you played. My guess is… she wasn’t. So unless you’re trying to ween your girlfriend off of her valium addiction, I suggest you keep that enthusiastic conversation filed in the “Not necessary to share with her” file, and clean out that file regularly.

9. She is not impressed by the gigantic, inhuman-sized log you just pinched off into the toilet.
Trust me on this. While women find colon health important, they’re perfectly satisfied just knowing that you do, indeed, shit on a regular basis, and anything beyond that is more detail than necessary. Describing the length or shape of your [...]

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She’s Back… and she’s Pissed…

Posted on November 29th, 2005 by Christine.
Categories: Pissed Off & Proud of It, True Story.

As if I weren?t pissed enough at Osama bin Laden for killing thousands of people in the 9/11 terrorist attacks, I hate the horse-faced turban-headed freak of nature every time I go to the airport and realize I?m going to spend the next forty minutes standing in line to go through security at which point I?m sure I?ll forget to either take off my shoes, remove my nail clippers from my cosmetic bag, or pull out my laptop and have to repack it just to be sure that I?m not a terrorist. I would pull the trigger on Osama myself just for creating that situation alone.
But now I?m pissed at someone else.
And no… surprisingly enough, it?s not Christopher.
Last month, …

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13 comments.

People who Deserve a Tip

Posted on November 25th, 2005 by Christopher.
Categories: Hilarious.

So I was a Bristal Farms last week, and I was speaking to the butcher and he was giving me some great advice about some steaks I was going to be bbq up later that day… I thought to myself when he was handing me my steaks and saying good bye that he went the extra mile and probably deserved something extra from me. As I walked out of the store it occured to me that there are a variety of people that probably deserve to be tipped that arn’t, and a whole bunch of people who we tip that shouldn’t be. Here’s some examples… An airline pilot, this guy spends 6 hours dodging other 747’s and mountain …

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7 comments.