Monthly Archives: February 2006

I think tonight was the last straw.. I had to bring this behavior to the masses. So you finally know what a fucking lunatic Christine is.. (yes yes.. I know.. she has crazy eyes and I should have known..).. let me just say.. the girl is completely koo koo.
We play in this racquetball league.. and she said.. hey do you want to drive.. and I said.. ehhh I don’t know.. now listen.. the woman fucking scares me, she does fucked up things when she is in the car with me.. she tried to jump out into traffic on the 405 one night, she demands I let her out of the car in places where there are NO white people and she likes to roll down her window and scream in the ears of people riding their bike… so please understand my hesitation about riding with her in the car tonight. I finally agree.. then she asks me if I will drive my new Ferrari…. to which I said.. FUCK NO… she begs.. offers some really interesting sexual favors and dinner at the grinder and I give in.
She drives over to my place and we leave… we are on our way having a nice conversation.. until we touch on the subject of the English language.. she likes to get caught up on the fact that I like to use the phrase “pretty many”.. ok Rob and Christine and pretty much everybody likes to tell me this doesn’t work because of some random rule they like to make up.. so tonight I said.. Christine.. I think your wrong about this… what about “pretty often” .. her eyebrows furrow… and I can see.. maybe I ended this battle with a final decisive blow.. a few min’s later she say’s.. no something must be wrong.. and I respond.. no I’m pretty sure this conversation is over and your wrong.

saw it coming before it actuallly happened.. she get’s this sick demented look.. like she is going to injure me or break something.. I remember thinking.. ok please.. don’t smash the window… (as I decelerated from about 140 to a comfortable 80)… then she struck.. I felt this searing pain on my for arm right below my elbow.. the woman had taken the scalding cigarette lighter and applied it to to my arm….. “WHAT THE FUCK”… as I swear ed off the road and smashed into the railing on PCH in Malibu did a 360 and came to a screeching halt in the middle of the road… at this point I was too stunned to actually say anything… I just slowly looked over at Christine…she had a strange look that seemed to say to me.. “God that was fun, and I am suck a fucking nutcase at the same time”

I slowly put the car in drive and pulled off the road. I stopped and snapped a picture it wasn’t as bad as it could have been.. altho after the experience.. we both lost our racquetball matches.. (for some reason.. my swing was just a little off and Christine looked a little shaken..) as for the car.. ahh whatever she is picking up the tab on fixing it.. and I won’t be giving her anymore joyrides.. those are strictly for girls who know how to.. oh I don’t know.. NOT BURN THE DRIVER … oh by the way everybody.. if anybody is wondering why I hadn’t posted or commented for a few weeks it was because Christine’s idea of a practical joke is to invite me over for Miso soup and then put crazy glue on the bowl.. there by TEARING the skin off my fingers.. rendering me unable to type. Continue reading →