Originally posted on April 17th, 2007

So we’re sitting there at dinner last night and Christopher, out of nowhere like he sometimes does, cocks his head subtly to the left. This is what happens when he suddenly has an epiphany about something. Rarely do these epiphanies ever have anything to do with what we were just talking about before hand, so I’ve stopped trying to link them back to anything I might possibly understand. I just accept them for what they are.

We were sitting there, eating focaccia (that’s the name of that kind of bread you had last night, Chris) and discussing how posting a photo of Terra Patrick under that crazy Indian sweaty monkey sex girl’s desperate attempt at finding a boyfriend that won’t beat her made any kind of logical sense (trust me, it didn’t… the only person who understood what the hell Christopher was trying to convey was Eric whose [...]

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How Cars and Men are NOTHING Alike… ;-)

Posted on March 30th, 2006 by Christine.
Categories: Hilarious.

1. Cars are, for the most part, dependable. Men, for the most part, aren’t.

2. Cars take gas in, men let gas out.

3. Cars will go wherever you want to go, including the mall, without bitching and griping the entire way.

4. Cars don’t feel their masculinity is threatened when a woman is behind the wheel and a man is in the passenger seat.

5. After spending a day in the garage, a car still looks and smells good. Men do not.

6. A car does not “guess” at how fast it must be going.

7. Cars don’t get a beer gut and man-boobies. And they definitely don’t go bald!…

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9 comments.

How a car and a relationship are similar.

Posted on March 30th, 2006 by Christopher.
Categories: Hilarious, Sex and Relationships.

Owning a woman is a lot like owning a car, let me break down some of the similarities.
If you buy it with miles, your going to have to do some work on it.
If you buy it new your going to have to break it in.
Here are the stages of a relationship and you can see how owning a car and being in a relationship correlate.

Stage 1:
This stage is a lot about getting to know yourself and what you really want. With cars we do this when we are driving around town..with women, when we are at the mall or a the movies. It’s like this, do we go with the a high maintenance Ferrari (the high maintenance chic), …

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23 comments.

Ladies, How Not To Screw Up Your Next Relationship

Posted on March 24th, 2006 by Christopher.
Categories: Sex and Relationships.

So for the last week or so I’ve been driving back into the office to work which affords me time to clear my mind and come up with advice to dispense to the world. So this week’s topic is directed to ladies of our site who for some reason can’t seem to stop messing up the relationships they have gotten themselves into. It’s not my place to judge if a relationship was better off ending or not, but for those ladies that are tired of the breakups.. heed my advice. My prophetic skills can be debated but one thing is for sure.. I understand what guys want.
1. Nagging to hear yourself talk is bad. It will …

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95 comments.

Yucky Spiderbots…

Posted on March 23rd, 2006 by Christine.
Categories: Cool Tech & Web stuff, Hilarious.

So Christopher has been doing some really cool upgrades to CvC and one of the things he did was add this little “Users Online” page where if you click on it, it shows you how many registered users are online, how many guests are on, and how many “Bots” are on. When I first saw it, I thought Hunh. Bot. That sounds like it might be short for “Robot” but why would a robot be hanging out on a battle of the sexes site when everyone knows that robots are gender-neutral and would probably never get any of the humor…? So I called Christopher…
Christopher: Yo, amiga… what’s up? (He has caller ID)
Christine: I’m on the site …

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34 comments.

Enter the Mind of a Genius… ;-)

Posted on March 23rd, 2006 by Christine.
Categories: Hilarious.

Well… I might not be a genius by “current social standards,” but I’m damn creative and could very possibly be described as “brilliant” (should anyone feel like describing me with that word… ) Anyway, my point is… sometimes creative, brilliant people are misunderstood. Very misunderstood. So I thought I’d let you into my head by recording some of the random thoughts I had today…
Upon waking up to my alarm clock: Am I mad at Christopher this morning? I can’t remember if he did anything to piss me off last night or not… hrmmm… I think he’s on my good side today…
As I hugged my cat: Cat fur smells the best after the cat has been …

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10 comments.

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