Originally posted on March 14th, 2005

Unfortunately, our monkey of a president is giving our bing bangs a bad name… so I’d like to go on the record and explain just how dissimilar our bushes are from, well, the dick that’s leading our country…

1. My pussy does not try to force its right-wing religious beliefs off on other people, and disguise it as a “traditional family value.”

2. My pussy is not hated by nearly every other country in the world.

3. My pussy did not spend millions of the taxpayer’s money to fly military aircraft 30 miles and land on the USS Abraham Lincoln just for a photo opportunity.

4. My pussy was not convicted of drunk driving.

5. My pussy has never taken campaign contributions from key player in the Enron scandal Kenneth Lay (but it has been laid by a guy named Ken -) )

6. My pussy still sees the [...]

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72 Comment(s)

How Cars and Men are NOTHING Alike… ;-)

Posted on March 30th, 2006 by Christine.
Categories: Hilarious.

1. Cars are, for the most part, dependable. Men, for the most part, aren’t.

2. Cars take gas in, men let gas out.

3. Cars will go wherever you want to go, including the mall, without bitching and griping the entire way.

4. Cars don’t feel their masculinity is threatened when a woman is behind the wheel and a man is in the passenger seat.

5. After spending a day in the garage, a car still looks and smells good. Men do not.

6. A car does not “guess” at how fast it must be going.

7. Cars don’t get a beer gut and man-boobies. And they definitely don’t go bald!…

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9 comments.

How a car and a relationship are similar.

Posted on March 30th, 2006 by Christopher.
Categories: Hilarious, Sex and Relationships.

Owning a woman is a lot like owning a car, let me break down some of the similarities.
If you buy it with miles, your going to have to do some work on it.
If you buy it new your going to have to break it in.
Here are the stages of a relationship and you can see how owning a car and being in a relationship correlate.

Stage 1:
This stage is a lot about getting to know yourself and what you really want. With cars we do this when we are driving around town..with women, when we are at the mall or a the movies. It’s like this, do we go with the a high maintenance Ferrari (the high maintenance chic), …

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24 comments.

Ladies, How Not To Screw Up Your Next Relationship

Posted on March 24th, 2006 by Christopher.
Categories: Sex and Relationships.

So for the last week or so I’ve been driving back into the office to work which affords me time to clear my mind and come up with advice to dispense to the world. So this week’s topic is directed to ladies of our site who for some reason can’t seem to stop messing up the relationships they have gotten themselves into. It’s not my place to judge if a relationship was better off ending or not, but for those ladies that are tired of the breakups.. heed my advice. My prophetic skills can be debated but one thing is for sure.. I understand what guys want.
1. Nagging to hear yourself talk is bad. It will …

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95 comments.

Yucky Spiderbots…

Posted on March 23rd, 2006 by Christine.
Categories: Cool Tech & Web stuff, Hilarious.

So Christopher has been doing some really cool upgrades to CvC and one of the things he did was add this little “Users Online” page where if you click on it, it shows you how many registered users are online, how many guests are on, and how many “Bots” are on. When I first saw it, I thought Hunh. Bot. That sounds like it might be short for “Robot” but why would a robot be hanging out on a battle of the sexes site when everyone knows that robots are gender-neutral and would probably never get any of the humor…? So I called Christopher…
Christopher: Yo, amiga… what’s up? (He has caller ID)
Christine: I’m on the site …

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34 comments.

Enter the Mind of a Genius… ;-)

Posted on March 23rd, 2006 by Christine.
Categories: Hilarious.

Well… I might not be a genius by “current social standards,” but I’m damn creative and could very possibly be described as “brilliant” (should anyone feel like describing me with that word… ) Anyway, my point is… sometimes creative, brilliant people are misunderstood. Very misunderstood. So I thought I’d let you into my head by recording some of the random thoughts I had today…
Upon waking up to my alarm clock: Am I mad at Christopher this morning? I can’t remember if he did anything to piss me off last night or not… hrmmm… I think he’s on my good side today…
As I hugged my cat: Cat fur smells the best after the cat has been …

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10 comments.

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