2006 | March | Battle of the Sexes : Chris vs Chris

10 Things Every Man Needs to Know About His Woman

Originally posted on July 13th, 2005

Here are the ten things every man needs to know about his woman…

10. She does not care about the play-by-play details of your multiplayer battles on Halo 2.
If she cared, she’d be sitting on the sofa next to you, cheering you on as you played. My guess is… she wasn’t. So unless you’re trying to ween your girlfriend off of her valium addiction, I suggest you keep that enthusiastic conversation filed in the “Not necessary to share with her” file, and clean out that file regularly.

9. She is not impressed by the gigantic, inhuman-sized log you just pinched off into the toilet.
Trust me on this. While women find colon health important, they’re perfectly satisfied just knowing that you do, indeed, shit on a regular basis, and anything beyond that is more detail than necessary. Describing the length or shape of your [...]

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Shiver Me Timbers, Matey… We Gots Ourselves a Pirate Problem…

Posted on March 19th, 2006 by Christine.
Categories: Hilarious.

Pirates. No… not the kind that get busted for downloading music off the internet. Real, life, sea-faring pirates… except without the eye patches and peg legs. I had to laugh when I saw this story…
CNN reported today that two U.S. Navy ships (one a guided missle cruiser no less) were attacked by pirates off the coast of Somalia. Three men, in a skiff, shot grenades at the two ships until one of the ships returned fire with “small arms,” destroying the skiff in a cloud of black smoke.
Apparently, piracy is still common off Somalia’s coast with pirates targeting U.N. ships bringing food and medical supplies to the region. Apparently, however, after yesterday’s little ordeal, there …

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16 comments.

Why Christopher is a Big Pussy… ;-)

Posted on March 18th, 2006 by Christine.
Categories: Hilarious.

So last night, Christopher and I were eating dinner at 11pm at the house of an elderly couple we’d only met a few hours before. It’s a story in and of itself, but I won’t get into. The important part is… the woman who is in her 70s, started talking to us about her last ocean swim. Being an avid swimmer myself and former lifeguard, I was very into her story. I look over at Christopher as she’s talking and his eyes are wide… like the look of disbelief he gets on his face when someone starts pointing out that social reform and foreign aid have positive benefits.
And I know what’s going through his mind…
So I …

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82 comments.

Who’s Your (”Sugar”) Daddy???

Posted on March 16th, 2006 by Christine.
Categories: Sex and Relationships.

With all the buzz about the rights and wrongs of gay marriage, and all the scrutiny about what the ?institution of marriage? is supposed to be… I thought I?d pose this question to our readers.
A few days ago, after pulling an all-nighter to meet a deadline, I sat down on the sofa the following day and turned on the t.v. hoping to find something I could fall asleep to. I chose the ?Montel Williams Show? because quite frankly, what could be more boring? But the show?s topic actually an interesting one… SugarDaddies.
Now… what exactly is a ?Sugar Daddy?? A Sugar Daddy is a wealthy man who, instead of a girlfriend, wants a ?SugarBaby.? The SugarBaby …

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38 comments.

Doctors Ruin Natural Selection

Posted on March 16th, 2006 by Christopher.
Categories: Hilarious.

“At the time, he was uncooperative,” said the Saline County Sheriff, describing the difficulty deputies encountered in finding the cause of a self-inflicted bullet wound. Perhaps Michael, the 27-year-old victim of his inner klutz, was simply embarrassed to admit he had managed to shoot himself in the groin with a 22-caliber bullet, while armed only with a pellet gun.
The deputy’s report included no mention of alcohol, so Michael was apparently sober when he placed a bullet on a picnic table and fired at it with his air rifle. The results he expected are not known. But the experiment yielded conclusive data. As he eventually, and abashedly, explained to a detective, “a pellet from the rifle hit the shell, causing it …

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17 comments.