Originally posted on February 28th, 2005

Want to fuck girls that look like this? … ok then.. listen up

Tarney Halle

If you ever hear a woman say the words “He’s nice” you can pull out all the money you have on you and bet that she’s not fucking nor will she be fucking the guy she’s talking about… not now.. not ever.

This is easy so drill it into your head. Women don’t use the word “Nice” to describe men that they’re FEELING it for.
So why would you want to use the “usual nice guy routine”?
What, you want to make SURE she never feels anything other than friendship for you?
I didn’t think so.

(Hint: In case you haven’t figured it out, I think you should ix-nay the ice-nay uy-gay outine-ray.)
And I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the words “nice guy” translate into “ICE-NAY UY-GAY” in Pig [...]

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17 Comment(s)

Screwing Up the Screw (AKA The Sex Toy Fiasco)

Posted on May 31st, 2006 by Christine.
Categories: Hilarious, Sex and Relationships, True Story.

So… I wouldn’t actually have relayed this story to anyone but those plans were changed when Christopher called me tonight. Let’s rewind… Christopher had a bad day. Normally we message each other throughout the day, but today I was in meetings all morning and most of the afternoon, so we didn’t talk at all. As I was driving home, my cell phone rang exactly 7 minutes after Christopher’s work day ends and it was him. He spent the next 34 minutes telling me about all the shit that happened at work today and in a sort of pathetic, beat-down voice he ended the conversation by telling me he thought maybe …

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56 comments.

Prednisolone Acetate Ophthalmic Suspension USP

Posted on May 31st, 2006 by Christopher.
Categories: True Story.

My fucking eye.
How does it break in a way that an eye doctor can’t really tell me what is wrong with it exactly yet can prescribe the medicine that will fix it… but only if you can actually survive taking the medicine.
This is how this ordeal started about 25 days ago..

Doctor: So Chris basically your eye has been like this for a month but you ignored it…
Me: Ya.. u know.. no big deal.. but I promised my mom I would get it checked out so here I am… I’m sure I’ll live.
Doctor: Your eyes are a big deal you need to come in when you have a problem.
Me: I really didn’t think it was a big deal.. …

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42 comments.

10 Things Men Must Change!

Posted on May 30th, 2006 by Christine.
Categories: Sex and Relationships, Top Tens.

Despite what you might have assumed from the title, I’m actually writing this post to help our male readers out. If you want to be attractive to women, there are a few pitfalls you need to avoid– no exceptions. And from what I’ve noticed recently at the gym and at the beach, apparently some guys still aren’t aware… so if any of the things on my list hit home just a little… put some effort into fixing them and I guarantee it will improve your chances with the girls. -)

1. Body Odor.
It doesn’t matter if you’re on a basketball court, sitting at your desk, or relaxing on the subway… there is no excuse for body …

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46 comments.

Happy Memorial Day!

Posted on May 29th, 2006 by Christine.
Categories: Announcements.


Just a quick post to wish everybody a happy Memorial Day! What a great way to kick off summer! -) And a big thank you to all the American vets and enlisted service men and women stationed around the world.

3 comments.

Crack Head

Posted on May 28th, 2006 by Christopher.
Categories: Hilarious.

Yes, you. You sick fucker. On Wednesday morning I emerged from my girlfriend’s building by U.N. Plaza to find that you had sawed the tops off both the sparkplugs on my motorcycle. At the time, I had no idea why anyone would do that. Other than the sparkplugs, the bike was untouched. Some kind of bizarre vandalism? A fraternity prank gone awry? I had no idea. All I knew is that I looked like a huge douchebag riding the Muni to work in a padded motorcycle jacket and helmet. Because the bike was immobilized I got a $35 street sweeping ticket that night. Thursday I had it towed to the shop ($45) where they replaced the sparkplugs and the boots …

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12 comments.

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