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Monthly Archives: May 2006
Screwing Up the Screw (AKA The Sex Toy Fiasco)

So… I wouldn’t actually have relayed this story to anyone (certainly not a bunch of horndogs like you all) but those plans were changed when Christopher called me tonight. Let’s rewind… Christopher had a bad day. Normally we message each other throughout the day, but today I was in meetings all morning and most of the afternoon, so we didn’t talk at all. As I was driving home, my cell phone rang exactly 7 minutes after Christopher’s work day ends and it was him. He spent the next 34 minutes telling me about all the shit that happened at work today and in a sort of pathetic, beat-down voice he ended the conversation by telling me he thought maybe he should go to the gym. I encouraged him. Later on, he messaged me to tell me about a server issue he was dealing with after he got home and explained that his home phone number no longer works because he got pissed off at the phone company and canceled it. The boy had a seriously rough day. So I say… “Would you like to hear something that will make you laugh?” He says he’d love to hear something funny, so I proceed with my story. Now, I certainly wouldn’t have shared this story on the blog… except when I finished, Christopher informed me that he was going to post it if I didn’t. In the interest of keeping the facts true… I told him I’d post it. So here it is… enjoy.
Posted in Hilarious, Sex and Relationships, True Story
56 Comments
Prednisolone Acetate Ophthalmic Suspension USP
My fucking eye.
How does it break in a way that an eye doctor can’t really tell me what is wrong with it exactly yet can prescribe the medicine that will fix it… but only if you can actually survive taking the medicine.
This is how this ordeal started about 25 days ago..
Doctor: So Chris basically your eye has been like this for a month but you ignored it…
Me: Ya.. u know.. no big deal.. but I promised my mom I would get it checked out so here I am… I’m sure I’ll live.
Doctor: Your eyes are a big deal you need to come in when you have a problem.
Me: I really didn’t think it was a big deal.. sore eye.. and it woud hurt for two days and then go away for three.. so most of the time it was ok.
Doctor: Well there is nothing really “wrong” with the eye.. just some chemicals off, you need to do these eye drops ever 4 hours for 10 days.<
Me: Sounds easy enough thanks doc. Continue reading
Posted in True Story
42 Comments
10 Things Men Must Change!
Despite what you might have assumed from the title, I’m actually writing this post to help our male readers out. If you want to be attractive to women, there are a few pitfalls you need to avoid– no exceptions. And … Continue reading
Posted in Sex and Relationships, Top Tens
46 Comments
Happy Memorial Day!

Just a quick post to wish everybody a happy Memorial Day! What a great way to kick off summer!
Posted in Announcements
3 Comments
Crack Head
Yes, you. You sick fucker. On Wednesday morning I emerged from my girlfriend’s building by U.N. Plaza to find that you had sawed the tops off both the sparkplugs on my motorcycle. At the time, I had no idea why … Continue reading
Posted in Hilarious
12 Comments