Future Headlines 2036

Posted on May 30th, 2007 by Christopher.
Categories: Hilarious.

• Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia formly known as California.
• White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia’s third language.
• Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
• Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.
• Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
• Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq, Afg hanistan, Syria and Lebanon).
• Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
• France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
• Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can

…

5 comments.

Semen Withdrawal: A Real Epidemic

Posted on May 26th, 2007 by Christopher.
Categories: Hilarious.

Women who do not use condoms during sex are less depressed and less likely to attempt suicide than are women who have sex with condoms and women who are not sexually active, leads one researcher to conclude that semen contains powerful-and potentially addictive-mood-altering chemicals.
Study author Gordon G. Gallup, Ph.D., a psychologist at the State University of New York in Albany, also found that women who routinely had intercourse without condoms became increasingly depressed as more time elapsed since their last sexual encounter. There was no such correlation …

10 comments.

Carbon Monoxide and Stained Ceilings

Posted on May 25th, 2007 by Christopher.
Categories: Hilarious.

Maybe I’ve reached the height of laziness or maybe I was just fucking around either way last night I decided I needed burn some documents.  Having thrown out my grill a few months ago I had a bit of a challenge on my hands… what to burn these documents in.  Yes I could have shredded them… no doubt.. but I didn’t feel like taking the time to shred so many papers.. burning is such a better use of my time.  After messing around for a few minutes I decided a large ceramic flower pot would work perfect  (closed on the bottom and fire resistant ).  So I dumped a bunch of papers and checks, ect into the pot.  Poured some …

12 comments.