My last name stays put.
The garage is all mine.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
I can be President.
I can’t get pregnant.
I can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
I can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell me the truth.
The world is my urinal.
I never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
I don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at my chest when their talking to me.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don’t cut, blister,or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
I know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
I can open all your own jars.
I get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite me, he or she can still be my friend.
My underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
I almost never have strap problems in public.
I am unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on my face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
I only have to shave my face and neck.
I can play with toys all your life.
My belly usually hides my bighips.
One wallet and one color for all seasons.
I can wear shorts no matter how my legs look.
I can “do” my nails with a pocket knife.
I have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
I can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.