Originally posted on July 13th, 2005

Here are the ten things every man needs to know about his woman…

10. She does not care about the play-by-play details of your multiplayer battles on Halo 2.
If she cared, she’d be sitting on the sofa next to you, cheering you on as you played. My guess is… she wasn’t. So unless you’re trying to ween your girlfriend off of her valium addiction, I suggest you keep that enthusiastic conversation filed in the “Not necessary to share with her” file, and clean out that file regularly.

9. She is not impressed by the gigantic, inhuman-sized log you just pinched off into the toilet.
Trust me on this. While women find colon health important, they’re perfectly satisfied just knowing that you do, indeed, shit on a regular basis, and anything beyond that is more detail than necessary. Describing the length or shape of your [...]

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Congratulations to the Goldman Family

Posted on July 30th, 2007 by Christine.
Categories: Current Events & Politics.

Although I’m pretty sure they don’t read Chris vs. Chris, I want to extend a congratulations to the family of Ron Goldman for their perseverance and on Monday’s ruling that 90% of the proceeds of OJ Simpson’s disgustingly self-absorbed book “If I Did It.” Considering that OJ hasn’t paid a dime to the Goldman and Brown families despite losing a $38 million dollar civil suit to them years ago, it’s about fucking time.

Instead of paying them as he was court ordered to do, he attempted to funnel the profits of the book that would detail how he murdered their family members (hypothetically of course) so that they couldn’t touch a penny. As if simply murdering two people …

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10 comments.

Sucks To Be You

Posted on July 29th, 2007 by Christopher.
Categories: Hilarious.

Naked Mole Rat

Going through life is hard enough,

but to go through life looking like a dick with buck teeth must be horrible.

This little animal really exists!…

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18 comments.

The Cornerstone of Our Legal System– Jury Duty

Posted on July 29th, 2007 by Christine.
Categories: Current Events & Politics.

While I was in Canada, my boss received a jury summons and one night, while waiting for the crew to shoot the next scene, we entered into a discussion about the best way for him to get out of it. Everyone there had advice. “Say you know someone involved with the case,” “Say you make crime movies and have enough experience to know who’s innocent or guilty right off the bat,” “Say you’re a Jehovah’s Witness,” “Say you hold a police officer’s testimony over anyone else’s.”

Everyone seemed to have a strategy for getting kicked off a jury as if it were an art form. I didn’t think much about it until I read an article today on …

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12 comments.

What’s in the Name

Posted on July 25th, 2007 by Christopher.
Categories: Hilarious.

Sometimes certain people shoudl just not get married… and if they do they should under no circumstances  hyphenate their names!  For some reason I get the impression that all the below people realized they were playing a joke on the world when they choose to hyphenate their names, and while I give them props for having a sense of humor, I’m guessing 10 years from now they will be thinking… WTF was I thinking.

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25 comments.

The Likelihood of Dating a Christopher…

Posted on July 24th, 2007 by Christine.
Categories: Sex and Relationships.

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Last week, Christopher’s parents came to visit and while Christopher was spending time with his dad, I spent quite a bit of time with his mom. Now… let me give you some background on our names. Christopher is called “Chris” by almost everyone. I am called “Christine” by almost everyone except my immediate family. They call me “Chris.” When Christopher and I visit my family and someone says, “Hey, Chris…” we both turn and look, but my family calls Christopher “Christopher” because they’re used to calling me “Chris.” It’s all a little confusing for sure.

While Christopher’s parents were out, his mother had lunch with my mother and my mom called me …

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4 comments.

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