Originally posted on March 11th, 2005

Piss a Guy Off When He's Watching Football
  1. Stand in front of the t.v. and show him the routine you learned at 5th grade cheerleading camp that’s sort of similar to the one that the Raiderettes do during half-time. Except… make sure that half-time is now over, and if you can’t remember the whole routine, just start over from the beginning.
  2. Cheer really loud and jump up and down when the other team scores. When he asks you why you’re cheering for the other team, just say you like their uniforms better.
  3. Every time a team makes a first, second, or third down, ask him, “Now who has the ball?”
  4. Tell him that you were offered box seats to the game because your boss wasn’t going to use them, but you turned them down. When he gives you a look like he doesn’t [...]

    More

73 Comment(s)

Answering The Knock of God

Posted on February 26th, 2008 by Christopher.
Categories: Hilarious.

*Knock* *Knock* *Knock*

“Sigh” Mumbling to myself I think… “Who in the world is knocking at my door at 6pm… Christine? Nah… she doesn’t just show up… must be the neighbor.”

I’m not really one for checking the peep hole so I throw open the door and instantly realize my mistake as a man dressed in a shirt and tie and a woman dressed in a dress are standing there. Ughh.. Mormons.

Don’t get me wrong.. I really don’t any have anything against Mormons.. at least not anything I don’t have against every other group of religions people who think it is ok to show up at my house to convert me.

Anyway as I they …

Keep reading >>

40 comments.

Here Comes Oscar!

Posted on February 22nd, 2008 by Christine.
Categories: Current Events & Politics.

As I explained to Christopher yesterday, the Academy Awards is to me as the World Cup is to him. I was trying to convey how much I like watching the Oscars and his response was… “But the World Cup happens every four years and the Oscars happen every year. You should liken it more to the Superbowl.”

Okay… whatever gets the point across, right?

I love the dresses, the red carpet, the interviews, the stars being themselves. I love seeing the movies that get nominated even though the Academy is hardly exempt from choosing the winners on a political basis rather than the merits of the film alone. But I love to see the craft of …

Keep reading >>

27 comments.

Mr. Jackson - My Favorite President

Posted on February 15th, 2008 by Christopher.
Categories: Current Events & Politics.

Now that election season is heating up, I thought I would chime in on what I look for in a president.

Basically all candidates are compared to Andrew Jackson…. if they can’t hold a stick to President Jackson, they won’t get my vote.

When the 1828 election rolled around, a lot of people were terrified when they heard Andrew “Old Hickory” Jackson was running. If you’re wondering how a guy I’m calling a bad ass got such a lame nickname, it’s because he used to carry a hickory cane around and beat people senseless with it, and if you’re wondering why he did that, it’s because he was a fucking lunatic.

Former Democratic Senator and Secretary of the Treasurey Albert Gallatin …

Keep reading >>

19 comments.

Christopher Wins Big Points on Valentine’s Day

Posted on February 14th, 2008 by Christine.
Categories: Sex and Relationships.

images.jpg

Today might be the best Valentine’s Day ever…

My Dad, who had a quad bypass late last year, usually comes out to visit me and my sister over Valentine’s Day– Valentine’s Day was always my Dad’s favorite holiday and when I was a little girl, he would always come home with a huge heart-shaped box of chocolates for my mom and two little ones for me and my sister. Anyway, he decided not to come out this year because he and his fiance spent $25,000 remodeling their bathroom and he didn’t have money for a plane ticket he said. My dad’s always been far from reliable, and even though I knew in my head …

Keep reading >>

17 comments.

Your Valentine’s Day Sex Playlist

Posted on February 12th, 2008 by Christine.
Categories: Sex and Relationships.

In preparation for Valentine’s Day, I’ve put together a playlist for all the guys who want their girlfriends/wives to think they are romantic when they actually aren’t:

Add this to you Songza!

1. Just Another by Pete Yorn

2. Glory Box by Portishead

3. Undress Me Now by Morcheeba

4. Beautiful by James Blunt

5. Your Body is Wonderland by John Mayer

6. Calling You by Blue October

7. You and Me by Lifehouse

8. By My Side by INXS

9. Sistinas by Danzig

10. Everything I Do by Bryan Adams

11. So Alive by Love and Rockets

12. Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls

13. One Headlight by the Wallflowers

14. Ever the Same by Rob Thomas

15. Sweet Child O’ Mine by Guns ‘N Roses

16. Always on My Mind by Elvis Presley

17. Killing Me …

Keep reading >>

10 comments.

« Older