Originally posted on February 28th, 2005

Want to fuck girls that look like this? … ok then.. listen up

Tarney Halle

If you ever hear a woman say the words “He’s nice” you can pull out all the money you have on you and bet that she’s not fucking nor will she be fucking the guy she’s talking about… not now.. not ever.

This is easy so drill it into your head. Women don’t use the word “Nice” to describe men that they’re FEELING it for.
So why would you want to use the “usual nice guy routine”?
What, you want to make SURE she never feels anything other than friendship for you?
I didn’t think so.

(Hint: In case you haven’t figured it out, I think you should ix-nay the ice-nay uy-gay outine-ray.)
And I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the words “nice guy” translate into “ICE-NAY UY-GAY” in Pig [...]

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17 Comment(s)

Answering The Knock of God

Posted on February 26th, 2008 by Christopher.
Categories: Hilarious.

*Knock* *Knock* *Knock*

“Sigh” Mumbling to myself I think… “Who in the world is knocking at my door at 6pm… Christine? Nah… she doesn’t just show up… must be the neighbor.”

I’m not really one for checking the peep hole so I throw open the door and instantly realize my mistake as a man dressed in a shirt and tie and a woman dressed in a dress are standing there. Ughh.. Mormons.

Don’t get me wrong.. I really don’t any have anything against Mormons.. at least not anything I don’t have against every other group of religions people who think it is ok to show up at my house to convert me.

Anyway as I they …

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40 comments.

Here Comes Oscar!

Posted on February 22nd, 2008 by Christine.
Categories: Current Events & Politics.

As I explained to Christopher yesterday, the Academy Awards is to me as the World Cup is to him. I was trying to convey how much I like watching the Oscars and his response was… “But the World Cup happens every four years and the Oscars happen every year. You should liken it more to the Superbowl.”

Okay… whatever gets the point across, right?

I love the dresses, the red carpet, the interviews, the stars being themselves. I love seeing the movies that get nominated even though the Academy is hardly exempt from choosing the winners on a political basis rather than the merits of the film alone. But I love to see the craft of …

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27 comments.

Mr. Jackson - My Favorite President

Posted on February 15th, 2008 by Christopher.
Categories: Current Events & Politics.

Now that election season is heating up, I thought I would chime in on what I look for in a president.

Basically all candidates are compared to Andrew Jackson…. if they can’t hold a stick to President Jackson, they won’t get my vote.

When the 1828 election rolled around, a lot of people were terrified when they heard Andrew “Old Hickory” Jackson was running. If you’re wondering how a guy I’m calling a bad ass got such a lame nickname, it’s because he used to carry a hickory cane around and beat people senseless with it, and if you’re wondering why he did that, it’s because he was a fucking lunatic.

Former Democratic Senator and Secretary of the Treasurey Albert Gallatin …

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19 comments.

Your Valentine’s Day Sex Playlist

Posted on February 12th, 2008 by Christine.
Categories: Sex and Relationships.

In preparation for Valentine’s Day, I’ve put together a playlist for all the guys who want their girlfriends/wives to think they are romantic when they actually aren’t:

Add this to you Songza!

1. Just Another by Pete Yorn

2. Glory Box by Portishead

3. Undress Me Now by Morcheeba

4. Beautiful by James Blunt

5. Your Body is Wonderland by John Mayer

6. Calling You by Blue October

7. You and Me by Lifehouse

8. By My Side by INXS

9. Sistinas by Danzig

10. Everything I Do by Bryan Adams

11. So Alive by Love and Rockets

12. Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls

13. One Headlight by the Wallflowers

14. Ever the Same by Rob Thomas

15. Sweet Child O’ Mine by Guns ‘N Roses

16. Always on My Mind by Elvis Presley

17. Killing Me …

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15 comments.

Just When You Think You’ve Met the Biggest Asshole Ever…

Posted on February 9th, 2008 by Christine.
Categories: Religion.

Just when you think you’ve met the biggest asshole ever, it turns out you probably haven’t. Unless, of course, you’ve had the pleasure of meeting one of the congregation members of the Westboro Baptist Church headquartered in good ole Topeka, Kansas. If you’re not familiar with this passionately active group of morally upstanding citizens, you can learn all about their doctrine on their website (www.godhatesfags.com). That is not, to give them more press, but I think it’s important to be aware that psychos like this exist, and spread their insecurity and hatred by harrassing the families of recently the recently deceased by picketing funerals.

The crux of their incredibly insightful belief system is basically this– bad things (like …

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54 comments.

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