40 Reasons Why Christopher is Happier then Christine

Posted on June 30th, 2007 by Christopher.
Categories: Hilarious.

My last name stays put.

The garage is all mine.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

I can be President. 

I can’t get pregnant.

I can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

I can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell me the truth.

The world is my urinal. 

I never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

I don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.

People never stare at my chest when their talking to me.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

New shoes don’t cut, blister,or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. 

I know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. 

I can open all your own jars.

I get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite me, he or she can still be my friend.

My underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

I almost never have strap problems in public.

I am unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on my face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

I only have to shave my face and neck. 

I can play with toys all your life.

My belly usually hides my bighips.

One wallet and one color for all seasons.

I can wear shorts no matter how my legs look.

I can “do” my nails with a pocket knife.

I have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

I can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

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