9 Ways to Test Her Love

    I think in every relationship there comes a time where you really need to know where you stand.  The truth is relationships are really about testing your significant other to see if they are up to snuff, how they react to certain things can tell you a lot about how deep their feelings are for you.  If the girl doesn’t mind you burping in her face.. that is probably a good thing… ok she might mind but as long as she can giggle that is good.  Over the years I’ve devised a variety of ways to test my status wiht Christine and I’ve listed them below.

    1. The Gum Test - This is personally one of my favorites. Basically the way it works is you get some chewing gum and you chew it… (duh) at random intervals you pull it out of your mouth this accomplished two things, it gets your fingers sticky and it is bad manners. You can do a few things to see where her snapping point is. First you can sit down and use her computer (making her keyboard all sticky – it took Christine about 2 years to say something to me about touching gum than keyboard, I take this as a sign that she likes me a lot). I like to reach over and hold her hand right after I put the gum back in my mouth, Christine never say’s anything about this. Her snapping point? When I put my gum on her leg or cheek as a place for it to rest while I recharge my jaws from chomping away…
    2. The Soda Test – This involves trapping some soda inside your straw while at a nice dinner and then dropping some of that sode onto her hand or plate… generally speaking Christine knows that I’m rather indifferent to my audience when we are eating out so she doesn’t get to upset about this one… it actually usually makes her smile. (usually).
    3. The Interruption Test – Everytime she starts telling you something just interrupt her.. and tell her something. when you finish “oh ya what were you saying”. This will make Christine melt down FAST.
    4. Ignore her for TV – Just kind of look like your tuning out, and watch TV when she gets upset.. just repeat back to her what she was saying.. this can really drive a woman nuts. Why? Because a woman lives for the day she can bust your ass about something and the fact that she thinks she got you and it turns out she didn’t.. is really maddening.
    5. Unhook her Bra & Other Bra Games – Unhook her bra randomly, or lead her around by the back of her bra like it’s a leash.. (women are kind of helpless if you grab them good by the bra, they kind of just go where you point them…) and if your feeling especially playful give her a few bra snaps. Warning.. this type of behavior can inspire and extremly negative reactions.
    6. Chew on Her Pen – Ask her to borrow a pen, promptly pop it in your mouth and start chewing. I pretty much do this automatically and luckily for me I have all these other tests that tell me Christine loves me otherwise I would be screwed.. judging by her reaction to the pen test… she does NOT love me.
    7. Refer to her as Bitch – “Sup Bitch”, “Lata Bitch”, “This is my Bitch Christine”. See how long she lets this go on.. and if she can take it with a smile.
    8. Order Food Without Input – When she gets up to go to the bathroom pre-ordering, go ahead take the liberty. When she tells you she doesn’t like something, tell her to quit whinning and eat it. This is another one that Christine does not like on any level.
    9. Reprogram the Electronics in Her Life – Like replacing pictures of Meshia with Jessica Alba on her desktop wallpaper or upgrading her Pete Yorn collection to Eminem on Pandora and if you really want to test her love, reprogram her radio stations in her car.

    11 thoughts on “9 Ways to Test Her Love

    1. Well… to his credit… I do tend to order the exact same thing every time we go to a specific restaurant (except for a few) so the fact that he orders and knows what I’ll get is sort of nice… but there have been times where I’ve sat down and saw a coffee sitting there and had planned on ordering something else. He usually reads my expression and says “If you don’t want it, just order what you want. I’m paying anyway.” hehe. Then I just drink the coffee. (c)

      You know, I just re-read his post and he actually does all these things quite often. The good news is… last week he not only took me out to a really nice dinner twice, but he also helped me fly my kite I’d been wanting to try out for months and he came over at midnight on Saturday evening, brought me popcorn, soda, and tea and fell asleep on the sofa with me. Honestly, even though I cringe every time the gum comes out of his mouth and he rolls it through his fingers, I have very little to complain about. I can’t believe I just said that. LOL.

    2. Sorry guys, it took me a few minutes to decide which of the last two posts to ignore first… It was a tough decision, I mean, cats are the evil minions of Satan, good-for-nothing balls of undead fur, their very existence is proof that god hates us, and the only thing you can do with them that serves any viable purpose is skin them slowly and sew them together to make a nice coat…

      On the other hand, Chris’ upgrade post was written in a foreign language. I had to give up after the first two sentences because Babel fish crashed while I was trying to translate it… Oh well… At least Chris made me snicker once or nince with this post. The morning has not been a TOTAL loss… (c)

    3. Balls of undead fur???

      Are you… criticizing the quality of our last couple of posts? Surely not…

      And PJ… LOL, I don’t think it has anything to do with him becoming a liberal pussy… It has more with a personal challenge he’s assigned himself to keep me “balanced” for as long as possible. ;-)

    4. Now that the stress of the upgrade is out of the way… I can do some serious posts… I have some good ones for everybody so stay tuned.. October will be a better month than September fosho

    5. I mean, cats are the evil minions of Satan, good-for-nothing balls of undead fur, their very existence is proof that god hates us, and the only thing you can do with them that serves any viable purpose is skin them slowly and sew them together to make a nice coat…

      Seriosly, Trouble, don’t you think that’s a little over the top?? Who would want a coat made of cat???

      As for me, Christine, I (l) the “evil minions of Satan” and “balls of undead fur” descriptions. I think it only goes to show that Trouble does some of his best writing when he’s not had (all of) his (c) yet.

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