Owning a woman is a lot like owning a car, let me break down some of the similarities.
If you buy it with miles, your going to have to do some work on it.
If you buy it new your going to have to break it in.
Here are the stages of a relationship and you can see how owning a car and being in a relationship correlate.
Stage 1:
This stage is a lot about getting to know yourself and what you really want. With cars we do this when we are driving around town..with women, when we are at the mall or a the movies. It’s like this, do we go with the a high maintenance Ferrari (the high maintenance chic), the SUV (Super Underused Virgina) or the Camry (the dependable, yet boring and unimpressive choice that we know we can count on).. or do we just get a junker (Bar Slut) that we can drop after getting some use out of it. To each his own, it’s not for me to judge.
Stage 2:
We have decided what we want from our car… err partner and it’s time to make the sell. All the bull shit about ourselves, the exaggerations and manipulations have been rehearsed and are ready for an academy award winning performance. We meet the lady and we start checking her out, it’s a lot like inspecting a car.. we take her for a test drive.. (the hookup on meeting #3) we checkout her limits, we mentally catalog her pluses and minuses, does she give good head, take it in the ass… a lot like kicking the tires and looking at trunk space in the car. This stage usually lasts about 24-72 hours depending on what model of woman you choose in the first place.
Level 3:
This is the best stage, this is the stage where everything is going great, running smoothly.. no maintenance needed, flying 147 mph on the freeway life is good… the woman is cooking dinners, attending bootie camp on a nightly basis.. being sprung trained. She is hitting strip clubs with you, doing freaky tricks in bed and being totally experimental. There is little nagging going on and pretty much no planning for the future. Generally speaking this stage lasts around a month…. with a real special car or woman you might make it to three months… but never longer.
Level 4:
This is what we call a relationship and it is pretty much the worst stage, this is like having a woman that you hate even when your not pissed and grudge fucking her just to take out your frustrations… it’s like the beater car that you just beat the hell out of not really caring if it keeps on running or dies. This is pretty much the whole relationship until you enter stage 5 and most likely your last chance of escape.
Level 5:
Too much negative equity, it’s the car that you want to trade or sell but you can’t get anything for it. It’s just to damn complicated at this point to ever actually end the relationship voluntarily… too many assets to divide, too many bills to split, too many friends to tell.. so you just accept this is your life, it’s good enough and that’s that.
I have to agree with this post 100%…
But boys… now that you know that women are like cars, here are a few more things you need to keep in mind…
1. We “perform” better when we’re well taken care of.
2. You’ll be enticed to spend much more money on us than you can probably afford.
3. You probably won’t be satisfied with just a visual inspection.
4. Lubing shouldn’t take all day. Express is always the way to go.
5. If the timing’s off, you’re pretty much screwed.
6. We turn off completely when the battery dies.
7. If you have one with a big engine, all your friends will want to take a peek under the hood.
8. The idea of Jose the greasy mechanic getting inside of us, irks you.
9. You sometimes worry just a little when the valet takes us for a spin.
10. Most of us can turn on a dime.
It’s that first phrase that really just squicks me…
“Owning a woman…”
Same here Ben, actually …/:)
I would also never dishonor my beautiful wife and our priceless relationship by comparing it to a hunk of cold, greasy, metal whose sole purpose is to get me from point A to point B as effeciently as possible.
I am crossing my fingers and praying that the whole “owning a woman” thing was just a mistake on Christopher’s part and he meant “Being in a relationship with a woman is like owning a car…” but then again, after reading his post on how not to screw up a relationship… I think he does see it very much like “owning” a woman.
And Ben… just for the record… I think your wife is a lucky chick!
But ignoring that, these relationhip stages being compared to owning a car happen to be true-to-life. Notice, however, that Chris attributed the authenticity of a “relationship” only in the 4th stage which, he said, “is pretty much the worst stage.” It’s just sad that there are people who actually accept the fact that they’re in a “relationship” for real, if and when it gets worse.
Well… people keep telling me that relationships are great blah blah blah. I actually have yet to see that… which is why I usually bail at the first sign of approach on Level 5. The thing is… women are NEVER honest about this shit. Every woman talks all this shit about how great her relationship is just to make other women jealous (I firmly believe that most women’s sole modus operandi in pretty much everything they do is to make other women jealous… and that’s why I have very few female friends… it’s almost harder to find a good girlfriend than it is a boyfriend). Anyway… the other day I had lunch with two chicks I used to work with and they happen to be two of the coollest girls ever… and we were talking about how hard relationships are and how it’s just better sometimes to have fuck buddies and the one that is married told me straight up… it never gets any better. You just accept that men are a disappointment and then you’ll have less drama in your life. LOL! I think honestly… very few people have great relationships. But I am holding out hope that I will be one of them someday… and if not, then hey… I’d rather be alone than in a bad one.
Yeah Chris, but at level three, the kind of cars/women that you can get an extra couple of good months out of… Cost a HELL of a lot more money…:d
No doubt dog.. but it’s occassionally worth it
hey christine , i like your take on this topic, chris and i knew you would agree,doesn’t being a foregone conclusion suck?:d
Well, let’s just say this little Porsche is still on the lot… and she doesn’t mind being fawned over and test driven every now and then.
I’ve to agree with Lei, lots of us do take relationships for granted (like owning womething) that we fail to recognize it for what it is until it gets worse.
Level 4 might be the stage where we say that our car’s going well, doing fine, yet know for ourselves that such is not the case.
I also think that we have a tendency when things are going fine, to think we no longer need to put any effort into maintaining them. A relationship takes effort like a car… your car may be running great and you may skip a few oil changes, a few tune-ups… but then when the damn thing doesn’t start one morning, who do you blame? The car naturally. At least I do… and that’s why my car doesn’t run that well… but Christopher did add brake fluid about two months ago… so that little light doesn’t come on anymore.
Yep… and when we fight she pretty much blames me.. and not herself…
When we fight, it’s obviously his fault… I would never just fight with myself…
Most impressive all of you! I’m a little late getting to this post! Ya know life kinda got in the way for a change, and then I decide to go and test drive a “new car” I met the other day!
She treated me well, and she ran quite well for about 2 hours or so till I ran out of oil and blew my engine! :d I absolutely agree with chris which isn’t too far from normal I know what a shock 
As well I’m impressed with christines take on the subject, and have to agree and rather enjoy the fact that she has called out woman on the fact they are never honest! I also want to entend my condolences to youchristine for being a hopeless romantic, but atleats you are being realistic! I also would agree with being alone than in a shitty ass relationship!
I liked what Christine said about accepting the fact that men are a disappointment so you?ll have less drama in your life.
) Good point, actually. A friend of mine also pointed out that if only it is possible to just be passive and indifferent, more likely she wouldn’t suffer from the strains and stresses of relationships. Oh I don’t know, maybe it’s possible for some, but I think, if you’re emotionally attached to a person, it’s difficult to try not to care and expect certain things.
Ya know the best way is to not expect anything from your significant other period…this way your not disappointed, and sometimes you will be surprized!
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Yeah I know, but sometimes, no matter how you want or try not to expect anything, but deep down, you do. I guess it’s just a matter of controlling your disappoinment if these “expectations” were not met. More like avoiding negative feelings, by choice.
I don’t think it’s bad to have expectations. I’ve said this before. It’s what helps us choose who is right for us and who isn’t. And what are you talking about Keith??? No expectations? Aren’t you the one who was preaching about how you wouldn’t “settle” for a girl in one of your other comments? So guys don’t need to settle, and women shouldn’t have expectations? Sounds a little one-sided if you ask me.
No you have misread what I intended once again! Expectations have nothing to do with not going to settle! I mean I won’t date a girl who doesn’t work out to take care of her figure in the first place so I know this won’t stop once we get together..aside from that i don’t expect anything! Therefore I’m happy when she does something, and not disappointed if she doesn’t do something specific!
Hello, everyone,
Who can help me with telling me the differences between relation and relationship?
Thanks
Carla
A “relation” is someone you’re related to (like a cousin, brother, sister, uncle, aunt, etc.)… and they are clearly not people you should have a “relationship” with.
Hope that helps.
I don’t usually reply to posts but I will in this case. I really enjoy your writing. I’ll be back.