Owning a woman is a lot like owning a car, let me break down some of the similarities.
If you buy it with miles, your going to have to do some work on it.
If you buy it new your going to have to break it in.
Here are the stages of a relationship and you can see how owning a car and being in a relationship correlate.
This stage is a lot about getting to know yourself and what you really want. With cars we do this when we are driving around town..with women, when we are at the mall or a the movies. It’s like this, do we go with the a high maintenance Ferrari (the high maintenance chic), the SUV (Super Underused Virgina) or the Camry (the dependable, yet boring and unimpressive choice that we know we can count on).. or do we just get a junker (Bar Slut) that we can drop after getting some use out of it. To each his own, it’s not for me to judge.
We have decided what we want from our car… err partner and it’s time to make the sell. All the bull shit about ourselves, the exaggerations and manipulations have been rehearsed and are ready for an academy award winning performance. We meet the lady and we start checking her out, it’s a lot like inspecting a car.. we take her for a test drive.. (the hookup on meeting #3) we checkout her limits, we mentally catalog her pluses and minuses, does she give good head, take it in the ass… a lot like kicking the tires and looking at trunk space in the car. This stage usually lasts about 24-72 hours depending on what model of woman you choose in the first place.
This is the best stage, this is the stage where everything is going great, running smoothly.. no maintenance needed, flying 147 mph on the freeway life is good… the woman is cooking dinners, attending bootie camp on a nightly basis.. being sprung trained. She is hitting strip clubs with you, doing freaky tricks in bed and being totally experimental. There is little nagging going on and pretty much no planning for the future. Generally speaking this stage lasts around a month…. with a real special car or woman you might make it to three months… but never longer.
This is what we call a relationship and it is pretty much the worst stage, this is like having a woman that you hate even when your not pissed and grudge fucking her just to take out your frustrations… it’s like the beater car that you just beat the hell out of not really caring if it keeps on running or dies. This is pretty much the whole relationship until you enter stage 5 and most likely your last chance of escape.
Too much negative equity, it’s the car that you want to trade or sell but you can’t get anything for it. It’s just to damn complicated at this point to ever actually end the relationship voluntarily… too many assets to divide, too many bills to split, too many friends to tell.. so you just accept this is your life, it’s good enough and that’s that.