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Ben2 the Soldier (56)Posted on May 24th, 2005 by Christine.
Categories: Hilarious.
I looked at him. At first, I thought maybe he’d accidentally substituted the word “cloak” for “jeans” or something. “What do you mean?” I asked, not yet disturbed because I didn’t fully understand that there wasn’t an error involved.
“Cloaks… you know… like Anniken wears.”
“You mean you want to dress up? Like the freaks who’ve been sitting in front of the theater for three weeks waiting?”
“They’re not freaks. There’s some hot girls sitting out there.”
I knew he’d clearly lost his mind.
“I’m sure there are… it never ceases to amaze me what women will do for their guys when they’re in love.”
“I’m going to buy us cloaks.,” he said. There was determination in his voice. Resolve.
He’ll change his mind, I thought. Soon, he’ll realize this is a very bad idea and he’ll decide we don’t need cloaks… or the cloaks will be sold out already. Good, good… Christopher is a procrastinator… there’s no way he’ll get to the cloak store before they’re gone… cloak manufacturers could never have anticipated the sharp spike in cloak sales…
“Just make sure mine has a hood,” I said. “So no one can see my face.” I was sort of kidding, but not really.
| The days passed. Christopher made several references to cloak-wearing on the big day. With each reference, he concluded with a declaration that he still needed to go get our cloaks. Each time I heard that, a wave of relief washed over me.
Then one night, he asked me if I was going to wear flip flops to the movie. |
“That’s what they wear with the cloaks,” he said. Oh my God… I thought, he really is serious about the cloak thing. And now he wants to make sure I wear the right shoes so I don’t look like an idiot… God, he’s lucky he’s so skilled in cunnilingus…
“I guess if I have to wear flip flops, I will,” I said, thinking I better get muchas brownie points for this.
He laughed. “I was just kidding. You don’t have to wear flip flops,” he said.
| So… it is now two days before the opening of the movie. At work, I get an email from Christopher with a link. The email says that he thinks he should get one of these…
I click on the link and you’ll never guess what he wanted… yes, a light saber. Not just any light saber. Not one of those cheap ass plastic glow in the dark light sabers that you can get at Toys R Us. It’s from some high end technology company (think Hammacher Schlemmer) and it’s a $250 fucking flashlight really. |
equals | |
The movie opens with a battle scene where else but in space. There are lasers and explosions and space rocks hurling at us. There are robot droids and space ships and sliding doors that could tear even the most agile space fighter jet in half. I sit in my seat thinking that if it’s true that men love spatial concepts, the layers and multiple planes of spinning objects and imaginative fighting machines must be almost orgasmic. I look over at Christopher. His eyes are glued to the screen– unblinking– like a cat.
The movie was good… very entertaining and it did a great job of wrapping up all the story lines, including the most interesting which is how Anniken succumbs to the dark side, how the Republic is lost, and how Luke and Lea are born without anyone (including Darth Vader) finding out. Unlike the Matrix trilogy which ended on a disappointing note, Star Wars Episode III does a good job of giving the viewer what they came there to see. The effects were nothing less than amazing, and if one doesn’t expect too much from the dialogue, the story is simple, but entertaining nonetheless.
But all good things must come to an end.
And so it did.
| As I talked to the waitresses, I told them this story. When I was done, they both looked at me and said at exactly the same time, “Yeah, I should go see it for my husband.” Both of their husbands had been talking about it for weeks and neither one of them wanted to go. I assured them they’d enjoy it and figured their husbands owed me one. It’s funny how men, who are all so different from each other, can be so much alike in certain ways. It’s funny how women who are in relationships all experience the similar things too.
I’ve decided that George Lucas must understand the male mind better than anyone on earth. He came up with something so enticing to men that they are reduced to the excitement they had as children waking up on Christmas morning. |
13 comments. Bucking Starfucks »« Random Thoughts and Announcements On A Monday
Oh wow! I’m definitely female and was really excited to hear about the new Star Wars movie coming out. More happy to hear that it was a really good one this time around, and not like the Episode 1 crap I shelled out hard earned money for. May 25th, 2005
I kinda feel bad…I’m a guy and wasn’t really thrilled about any of the new Star Wars flicks. Then again, I’m not a big Star Whatever fan (Whatever = Wars, Trek, Gate, Search). Lots of my friends are, though, and I’m almost positive that they were in line with a chainsaw at the day it started playing in their ‘hood. Although I am psyched as hell about the upcoming Batman flick… May 25th, 2005
I would have fallen for the flip-flops and cloak line too - especially if I’d been going to see the film with my brother …. who can quote the aliens in the bar in Star Wars Episode IV!! Glad you enjoyed - I just get to watch golf! May 25th, 2005
Question– why is Star Wars a male-female thing? Ridiculous! If women would stop playing these stupid “I’m a girl” games, things would be a hell of a lot better! May 28th, 2005
Did I say it was a male/female thing??? If you re-read what I actually wrote… you’ll see I liked it too, so I’m not sure what the game is that you’re referring to. I was simply relating my experience with Christopher and it happened to be similar to two other women I was talking to. The part about Lucas understanding the male mind is an observation I made from reading multiple articles about the difference in functionality from the female mind to the male mind, and that the female mind is more connected in verbal communication functionality and the male mind is better at defining and manipulating spatial tasks. The truth is… women are different from men and that’s perfectly okay. It’s not a game. And anyone who tries to tell you men and women aren’t different and see the world differently, is full of shit. Where is your hostility coming from??? May 28th, 2005
But it was really, really good, I totally agree with you there. I don’t know how I felt about episodes 1 and 2, and as far as the original 3, I was too young to really get them, I think, but I really enjoyed this one. Except the little kids. I didn’t like the part with the little kids… May 29th, 2005
Killing child jedis had to be done for two reasons… 1. People like me would have said, “Well Anniken’s stupid if he thinks he killed all the jedis and then just forgot about the kid jedis who will grow up to become adult jedis,” and 2. It was a great vehicle from a filmmaking standpoint to show how evil Darth Vader really is. He can’t be revered as a truly evil nemesis unless he does something heinous. Besides, this was foreshadowed in one of the earlier episodes where Anniken kills the entire village of creepy fat things that kidnapped and murdered his mother. He makes a point of telling Padma that he killed the female and chld creepy things too… and we see just by him telling her that, the struggle he’s having with what he perceives as right and wrong. While most would consider that morally wrong, we can see where he might have felt somewhat justified because he killed them in an emotional outrage when his mother dies. To make the decision to pre-meditate the murder of child jedis, we see the moral decomposition is complete and he no longer struggles with moral issues after moving to the dark side. So, in short, I thought the killing of the kids was good… and they aren’t really dead. They were just acting. May 29th, 2005
You might want to check out my entry May 30th, 2005
Oh, man. I too humored my husband and went with him a few days ago to see Episode III. I was surprisingly entertained by it. Not to mention that hottie Hayden Christensen. Did you check out his abs in that one scene? HOLY SMOKES! June 1st, 2005
Hi, wandered in from BlogExplosion. I was actually surprised by the number of women in the audience who were clearly there on their own. I’ve seen it twice, and the first time I went the theater was full of teenage girls out with their friends. I later talked with a guy who had been working at a movie theater over the weekend, and he agreed: the people walking out with the best reaction were, in his words, “12-year-old girls in love with Hayden Christensen.” I know the original movies crossed gender lines too, because I have memories of my mom and her friends standing in line all day to see The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. But conventional wisdom is that sci-fi in general, and Star Wars and Star Trek are “guy things” (despite some shows, like Farscape, where most of the active fan base is female), and for some reason I’d expected that when my wife and I went to see Episode III. (For the record, I think she was more excited to see it than I was.) June 2nd, 2005
[…] Star Wars’ Revenge of the Sith opens in theaters, breaking box office records. […] December 11th, 2005
Well chris and I shared many memories of star wars, and were very admimant fans through college, and today! Even though I was very disappointed with a lot of thigs about episode I I enjoyed it for the simple fact it was star wars. I even remeber chris dressing up as darth maul in college for halloween. Looked damn good too, and you know he enjoyed every fucking second of it. I too enjoyed it and wished I had went as OBI-WAN KENOBI (which is the correct spelling christine) :-w just to have more fun. I loved star wars ever since I saw it as a kid, and I too was brought back to childhood feelings in that theatre so many months ago now. But damn it everyone is a kid at heart, and if you don’t embrace it you are wasting part of your life. I know my eyes were glued to that screen, and I don’t know if I blinked for the entire movie. And for the record I saw it 2x in the theatre…cause it was that important. March 1st, 2006
Are there any concrete plans for an Indian Jones part 4? I would LOVE to see that movie! October 24th, 2006 
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