A Womens Guide To Valentine’s Day

Posted on February 9th, 2007 by Christopher.
Categories: Hilarious.

Ladies, I’ve got to tell you… you really have to work on this holiday because it SUCKS for us guys. So.. if you don’t want your man to feel jaded and angry about this holiday try and follow my little guide here or Christine’s but mine is better ( which is to be expected ).

First no matter what don’t remind him that he forgot AGAIN.. just let it go.. if you got him something, wait until the weekend and give it to him for being such a great boyfriend. If he actually remembers, be surprised and cherish it because this holiday is about as worthless and forgettable as they come for men.

If he remembered now it is your responsibility to really do something extra special for him. What kind of extra special am I talking about? Well tonight is a good night to give him access to the back door.. or bust out that deep throat skill you have been hiding away since college. Now if he actually went out of his and got you flowers or chocolates… it is time for you to STEP IT UP and bring your cute friend or kid sister along for a night of pleasantries.

Now I know what your thinking.. isn’t Valentine’s Day suppose to be about the ladies.. no.. HELL no.. it’s all about the Hallmark needing a holiday between Christmas and Easter… and anyway why should this holiday be all about the ladies? I mean I’m all for this idea if you girlie’s will let me be rather average to you on a day to day basis except for Valentine’s Day but we all know that isn’t going to fly. It really is time that you realize that this day should be special only for the man, after all football season just ended and you pretty much have his undivided attention for the next 6 months or so.. and if he is anything like me he is probably in a little bit of a funk without having a constructive way to spend his Saturdays and Sundays for the next half year. If you follow my little guide here and treat him right.. he might just spend them with you. )

Christine however can completely disregard this, because she NEVER messes up V-Day.. )

23 comments.

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Christine the Lioness stated

Isn’t he romantic? I’ll bet all the women who read our blog are wishing they were me right now…

February 10th, 2007

waffles the Virgin asserted

There is football for the next six months. ESPN picked up the Arena League contract.

February 11th, 2007

Christine the Lioness uttered

I’m not sure Arena football counts as “real” football yet. I’ve been to an Arena game… it’s just not the same.

February 11th, 2007

Christopher the Pyro quibbed this

While Arena football is cool.. its just not the same.. now I will say that the downtime sucks.. but at least there is Nascar… and additionally I really do need at least a few months to recharge…. plus their is the draft.. and national signing day for recruits was last week… so it’s not completely devoid of festivities.

Christine doesn’t know but I got a rush of emails after this post asking me to dump her punk ass …. I’m in high demand.

February 11th, 2007

Christine the Lioness scribbled

He neglected to tell you that the rush of emails came from Russian mail order brides who yes, wanted him to dump my punk ass, and then send international money orders to a PO Box in Moscow for their “plane tickets.” -)

February 11th, 2007

Ben2 the Soldier spake, and sayeth

Christopher you need to watch MMA. It will help with your football withdraw.

February 11th, 2007

Christopher the Pyro uttered

A woman’s a woman. )

MMA..? I don’t know.. but I deal with my withdraw with a healthy dose of the Jet Strip ( Christine’s old strip club)

February 11th, 2007

Christine the Lioness spake, and sayeth

Call me blonde… but what’s MMA?

February 11th, 2007

Ben2 the Soldier spake, and sayeth

MMA is short for Mixed Martial Arts. It is what is says. A combination of all forms of fighting. The largest MMA organizations are The Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) and Pride Fighting Championships (Pride FC).

February 11th, 2007

Ben2 the Soldier asserted

I meant to write, It is what it says.

February 11th, 2007

Christopher the Pyro said this

UFC rocks..altho it rocked harder 10 years ago.

February 11th, 2007

Ben2 the Soldier said this

Not really. The fights and fighters are better now. 10 years ago was the “dark ages” of mma when it was getting off regular ppv and getting ban in some states.

February 11th, 2007

Christine the Lioness hunt n' pecked this

It was lame then, and it’s lame now. It should be against the law to even mention those in the same sentence as “football.” -)

February 11th, 2007

Christopher the Pyro pontificated

Well it probably should be against to law to mention them in the same sentence as football.. I love bloody fighting. )

February 11th, 2007

Ben2 the Soldier got all philosophical

Christine that is a very ignorant statement which I excepted from you. MMA fighters are the most well condition athletes on the planet. MMA itself is safer and more exciting than football. It is also much safer than boxing and automoblie racing. Football players compared to MMA fighters look like pussies to be honest and I love football as well.

February 12th, 2007

Christopher the Pyro added

Ben,

To be fair Christine is really a one sport girl which is cool.. boxing and racing aren’t her thing.. (yet) however.. I tend to attribute this to the fact that she is from Nebraska where football is more important than eating… or at least close.

February 12th, 2007

Christine the Lioness commented

Damn, Ben2… what did I do to inspire such hate from you? “…that is a very ignorant statement which I expected from you.”

I doubt I’m the only person with the opinion that football is more exciting than MMA, and everyone is entitled to their opinion whether you agree with it or not. It doesn’t mean they’re ignorant.

February 12th, 2007

Ben2 the Soldier asserted

Sorry, I get a little heated sometimes. I think if you watch MMA today I think you would actually enjoy it, especially if you educated yourself about it. You did say it was lame and dismiss it out of hand. You could have said it’s not for me and that would have been cool. I live in NASCAR country (I live near Charlotte) and I don’t care for it much, but I don’t bash the sport or the fans.

February 12th, 2007

Christine the Lioness mentioned

Nope, you just bash the people who don’t agree with you. And I actually have seen the more “recent” version of UFC, so that’s not exactly “out of hand.” I suppose there are reasons why people decide to educate themselves about certain things… oh yeah, we call that taking an interest. So yes, if I decided to educate myself more about it, I might enjoy it more… but making the decision to educate myself means I have to have some interest to begin with in order for me to choose to educate myself about that sport over something that’s well… more interesting. See how that works?

February 12th, 2007

Christopher the Pyro chimed in with

Chris vs Chris should sponcer a UFC match… ) Christine and I can be the main event and I can smack some sense into her.

February 12th, 2007

Ben2 the Soldier added

Yeah but she’s a liberal. You could kick her ass a hundred times and she will still think she could win. Their policies fail time and time again yet they still think they can work. You know like communism is a great idea, it was just the wrong people running it.

February 12th, 2007

Christopher the Pyro hunt n' pecked this

Well she say’s she is a liberal but she usually scores middle of the road on those political tests.. but yes I could kick her ass.. but it will be fun to watch.. I promise )

February 12th, 2007

Christine the Lioness said this

It’s called confidence, baby! And perseverance! -)

February 12th, 2007

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