Christine the Lioness (3118)
Christopher the Pyro (1985)
ProphetJoe the Irreverent (1216)
Trouble the Pirate (592)
Keith the Director (573)
Mara the Peacemaker (527)
eric the Lil' Devil (351)
AJ the Zen Master (305)
Ben the Kingpin (213)
Haas the Addict (187)
Christine 2 the Mercenary (131) Lei the Mercenary (124) Katie the Mercenary (115)
Ben2 the Soldier (56) Haas the Addict uttered
Christine, Sprechen sie Deutsch? Ich spreche ein wenig deutsch 
Ps: Has anyone ever told you look like Helen Hunt
Christine the Lioness stated
LOL… never Helen Hunt… although people usually say Leah Remini or Nicole Richie.
Und, ja. Ich sprechen ein bisschen Deutsch, aber nicht gut. Ich habe fur vier jahren im schule gelernt. Ist das richtig?
ProphetJoe the Irreverent got all philosophical
Do you come to our location?
ProphetJoe the Irreverent uttered
Oh, and, yes, you are absolutely adorable! What a smile! This is for you 
… and that other picture shows nice attributes too 
Christine — I have problems believing that Chris is really a conservative. He’s too cheap (yeah, the whole tipping thing still bothers me 
) ) and now he’s pimping his hottie? I think he’s liberal 
ProphetJoe the Irreverent got all philosophical
Hmm, in hindsight, perhaps I should have asked:
Will you cum at my location?
ProphetJoe the Irreverent hunt n' pecked this
I have a better idea, Christine! Let’s auction you BOTH off. Let’s see who brings more $$$$!
What sayeth you, Christopher?
Christopher the Pyro stated
$10,000 is my bid for Christine.
I know how good the sloppy bj’s are…. and cheap I am not.. just with people I deem to not be worth my hard earned $$$. Christine feels I have expensive tastes.. and I am certainly not liberal.. how can I be liberal if I don’t believe in paying taxes, do whatever I can to keep my money in my pocket?
Also.. I’m sure Christine is worth more $$….
My bio reads… Speaks.. English.. don’t like it to fucking bad. Does not have a valid passport because why would I want to visit your 3rd world abode and I have no cleavage.
Christine the Lioness mentioned
Ha! Not a bad idea except I don’t want to get rid of MY Chris… 
Thank you for the compliment, PJ.
With the exception of that weird tipping issue he has, Christopher’s actually really, really generous. Every time there’s some sort of disaster like Katrina and people are asking for money, he’s the first one I know (even before me) to step up and send a check to help out– and a big check too.
Christine the Lioness hunt n' pecked this
Awww… Christopher’s bidding on me? 
Doesn’t that defeat the purpose, babe? Or are you just trying to drive bids up?
eric the Lil' Devil said this
listen guys i have to side with my boy here, being frugal, and not tiping, are not always related, if i wait on you in a diner, and you have to ask me for , a menu, drinks, specials, the check, and refills, you should say fuck off at tip time, tips are not a certainty, they are not your employee, it is a gratuity! and if they don’t earn my respect they get zilch! besides, if they were so poor that their livelyhood depended on these tips, they would have better job performance 
oh, and yeah chris, i would say you are getting a bargain at 10 g’s for christine and the sloppy bj’s
Christopher the Pyro asserted
Considering that is what we will probably drop on strippers in Vegas when we go .. I agree that is a bargain. J/K Christine… Escorts… she hates it when I refer to them as strippers.
Christine.. shhh maybe I am trying to drive the bidding up.. but I’m also stating a fact.
ProphetJoe the Irreverent quibbed this
Sorry, Christopher, Rule 6, Section 9 clearly states: “owners and administrators of the ChrisVsChris web site are not eligible to participate”
Now, Christine, where were we…
Christopher the Pyro scribbled
However being that I’m also a Supreme Deity that rule really doesn’t apply.
ProphetJoe the Irreverent scribbled
OK, ‘topher, I have to ask you directly.
Some have said it is true
Others say that you have hypnotic control over her.
Still other claim that you are a billionaire (from saving all of those tips for yourself), while the envious believe you have a 16 inch cock the thickness of a small tree…
so what is it that makes you the Supreme Deity in ‘tine’s life?
Trouble the Pirate added
He’s in charge of the little flags of course…
Christopher the Pyro penned this
lol.
Trouble.. the problem with your “Country” is that the international IP committee deems you to be part of the United States, otherwise I would totally hook you up and fix the Cayman Islands.
As for why I am the ruler of Christine’s life.. I think it has more to do with my ability to forget her threats 5 minutes after she makes them.. then anything else… (I have a post coming on Christine’s greatest threats! I promise the creative writer in her comes out during moments of duress.) However all the rumors about cock length and my bank stack are also true.. and hypnotic control… well that is actually something she has accused me of before..
Mara the Peacemaker commented
Christine, you’re way cuter than Nicole Richie. Strangely I do recall the cleavage shot now.
ProphetJoe the Irreverent stated
Hmm, after staring at the “bOObs” picture for way too long, I just noticed ‘tine’s hands in this photo. She appears to be clinching her fists!
‘tine, were you preparing to slug ‘topher?
AJ the Zen Master scribbled
For the first time I am REALLY jealous of Christopher!
Seriously, if I was not so far away, I would have participated.
Christine, you look ultra fab in this pic. Instead of writing, you should have gone into acting. I’d have watched all your movies just for you
AJ the Zen Master quibbed this
forget her threats
Dude, for her, who would not! Infact, in her presence, I would not even notice those threats.. Rather even give her a chance to make them…
Holmes the Virgin penned this
$10,000.69, and woman, that 69 better be worth it!
Holmes the Virgin uttered
$10,000.69, and woman, that 69 better be worth it!
John
Christopher the Pyro remarked
lol..
Ok.. so maybe the flags are messed up…
AJ… don’t be charmed by her… avoid her hypnotic stare.. trust me.
Christine the Lioness said this
Ha! Thanks, you guys! You all make me smile.
ProphetJoe the Irreverent pontificated
FWIW, I wouldn’t go debugging your flag code just because of THIS incident with “John Holmes” — you’d just be wasting your time.
Christopher the Pyro uttered
Actually it was more for Trouble.. because he thinks I have something against his little Island Chain… but in reality I actually just need some motivation… Trouble how about I fix your flag and you open a bank account account down there for me.
AJ the Zen Master commented
*must take eyes off the pic*
*must take eyes off the pic*
*must take eyes off the pic*
Damn, I can’t!
Christine the Lioness stated
You’re sweet, aj.
Trouble the Pirate scribbled
Mara, a ‘wooden cigar-store Native American’ is cuter than Nicole Ritchie, that’s not much of a compliment…
Chris… The bank account is do-able… But dependent on your ability to provide me a pirate flag… Deal?
Christine… As is my practice at most of the auctions I attend annually, I always observe the bidding trend before I begin to participate… I see that the venerable John Holmes has returned from the grave and has the highest monetary bid at $10,000.69… I can only assume that this figure is in US$, and since our currency is stronger than the US$, I will have to do some conversion… … …
Okay… I bid: KY$8400.84 [US$ 10,001.00]
Holmes the Virgin hunt n' pecked this
Trouble: I am back from the grave and if you outbid me again I’ll get into Trouble, if you get my drift. I bid KY$8401.00
>O
Christine the Lioness added
This is awesome! I’m being bid on US Dollars, Deutschmarks (are is it the Euro there, Holmes?), and that untraceable Cayman Islands money…
Holmes the Virgin hunt n' pecked this
WTF, it lost half of my comment!
I was making Trouble a little Pirate flag emoticon, but something choked on it. I’m used to it.
The rest of my comment was:
Christopher: When does this auction end?
Christine: You’re pretty young. Do you even know who I am? If not, Christopher can show you some of my works. Be prepared.
Holmes the Virgin hunt n' pecked this
No, darling, I was outbidding Trouble in his currency. I’m not sure what KY$ stands for, Cayman dollars(?), but I do know what KY is used for.
Mara the Peacemaker spake, and sayeth
Trouble, well, a lot of people are cuter than Nicole Richie. The point was that I really don’t see the comparison between Christine and Nicole Richie.
Christopher the Pyro got all philosophical
I don’t see the comparison either… at least not physically.. (Christine is much hotter)… however it might be a draw on the craziness level.
Christine the Lioness uttered
Yes, Holmes… I saw that… but I converted your bid to Deutschmarks because I’m not sure that KY money is even real or recognized as a legal currency…
And hrmmm… so now I’m worried. I’ve had several people tell me I look like Nicole R. Even a busboy in a restaurant where I was eating alone came up to tell me that and I responded with… “The fat Nicole, or the sickeningly skinny Nicole?” And he said, then embarrassed I guess, “The skinny one, but it’s a good thing…”
So I told him thank you and asked if he could get me some more coffee.
Christopher the Pyro got all philosophical
Trouble does now have his pirate flag.. however I still need to get the code to realize he is from KY more then 1/10th of the time.
Trouble.. I went with the traditional pirate flag.. but if you have something else in mind let me know.
ProphetJoe the Irreverent mentioned
OK, now that the bidding is getting hot and heavy, I’ll toss my hat into the ring too. I bid $100,000.00 (in US dollars, Trouble)
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payable over 1,000 years at a rate of $100/year — provided ‘tine puts out on our date
Mara the Peacemaker thought this
Lol, Christine. Total catch-22…there was no right to answer that.
eric the Lil' Devil pontificated
didn’t know annuities were acceptable, wow, that opens up a whole new bidding war 
Christine the Lioness mentioned
Annuities… LOL. Okay… sure… payable over one thousand years… so we’ll go ahead and plan our date once the last payment is received and processed. You can go ahead and start by making your first payment once the auction closes though.
Christopher the Pyro uttered
Totally now that we are going to get creative with the financing.. I thought I was only allowed to use the cash on hand….. however I do think we should cap the payment date at 10 years…
Trouble the Pirate spake, and sayeth
Hell… I was just using what I could scrape up out of the centre console of my Jeep… … … Money laundering has been good to me… 
ProphetJoe the Irreverent stated
Damn, these financial deals always crash on me… 
OK, how much is a lap dance (from ‘tine NOT ‘topher!) if I come to your location?
ProphetJoe the Irreverent hunt n' pecked this
Private to ‘tine (don’t anyone else read this!):
OK, lady, let’s start planning our date. Tell me, in great detail, what you will do to me after we’ve had several 
and are naked?
ProphetJoe the Irreverent penned this
Thanks for the private email — I *do* like that. Tell me more
Christopher the Pyro penned this
PJ,
Careful Christine already has enough stalkers.. she actually had to shut down her myspace account because of one.. and if she makes me shut down the blog I’m going to be bent.
Mara the Peacemaker quibbed this
You know, I was slightly surprised that Christine’s pictures are posted here. I’m sure you both are careful regarding potential stalkers, psychos, etc but the picture on the internet always freaks me out.
Christine the Lioness penned this
Another friend of mine mentioned that to me also. You know… it’s interesting I guess. We’ve had this site going for about 2 1/2 years now and aside from some underage girl who kept making weird comments even after we told her to hit the road, we’ve never had anyone weird. We don’t ever respond to people directly in email, even when they’ve emailed us and asked us to, so everything is right here for the public to see.
As for the myspace stalker… the guy found out from my myspace account that I write for t.v. and was determined to convince me to be his writing partner and started emailing me five and six times a day and changed his own myspace account to make it “ours” with my name on it and everything. So ironically, it actually had nothing to do with my picture, but more with my profession.
Christine the Lioness said this
Come on, PJ… you should know better than that… Pull that made up shit here and you’re definitely gonna get busted in front of everyone… 
I’m loyal to my boy.
ProphetJoe the Irreverent up'n wrote this
I cordially offered to pay ‘tine for a lap dance. I don’t think that qualifies me as a stalker, does it?
Mara: I *thought* you were a woman of your word!? You’re still posting comments, I see.
Mara the Peacemaker uttered
Christine, oh my God, what a psycho.
I hope you didn’t think I was being judgmental or anything like that. It was just something that struck me.
Mara the Peacemaker uttered
Sorry, PJ. I totally forgot! )
ProphetJoe the Irreverent spake, and sayeth
you’re definitely gonna get busted in front of everyone…
I’m loyal to my boy.
I’m on to you, Christine. You’re making another one of the outlandish threats ‘topher talks about And call him “my man” — my “boy” sounds so demeaning unless he is actually your child (in which case, I’m reporting this whole mess to the authorities)
Christopher the Pyro uttered
Don’t worry PJ, she knows who her “Daddy” is.
Christine the Lioness asserted
I usually call him “THE boy” since there is one and only one… and calling him “The Man” well… technically he’s white so it fits, but it doesn’t quite convey the correct sentiment… LOL…
ProphetJoe the Irreverent pontificated
Must… do… work…
Must quit watching the Cubs vs. Cardinals game and commenting on CvC.
Must… do… work…
ProphetJoe the Irreverent penned this
Oh screw it… I mean, I only have 31 minutes left in the day. Why start working now?
Anyone here a fan of the Kentucky Derby? Who’s your favorite horse?
ProphetJoe the Irreverent scribbled
‘tine made reference to writing for TV. Anything I’d know, or is that subject taboo given the myspace stalker? (I would definitely understand if it is… I would understand better in exchange for a topless photo — no faces to identify the “innocent”.
It’s almost 
90 comments now — I’m catching up to Keith!
Mara the Peacemaker penned this
The kind that you ride, PJ
ProphetJoe the Irreverent spake, and sayeth
Well, I see we’re now having classic posts which are less than a month old )
Btw, I picked 2 of the 3 show horses in the KY Derby. Unfortunately, I picked the 2nd and 3rd place finishers… still I covered my original expenses. Now, about the Preakness — hmm, will we see a Triple Crown winner this year? We’re do for one!
Christine the Lioness thought this
Is my auction a classic??? I didn’t know.
Christopher the Pyro spake, and sayeth
I’m still trying to get fair market value for you.
ProphetJoe the Irreverent got all philosophical
Umm, what’s the bid up to now???
ProphetJoe the Irreverent said this
“Is my auction a classic??? I didn’t know. ”
So… did anyone actually win? I think big John Holmes was the highest bidder the last time I looked…
Christine the Lioness chimed in with
Well… last night at dinner, he was telling me about how he’d have no problem pimping me out if I wanted to be pimped out for a sizeable amount of money… oh, and better yet… he’d be willing to sleep with someone if they paid him to do it and I was okay with it… but of course… if I’m NOT okay with it… he wouldn’t do it… but he was sure I’d sleep with someone else for a million dollars if they offered it. Oy ve.
ProphetJoe the Irreverent chimed in with
Hey, Trouble, if you want to relive those golden years in home economics class, it sounds like Christopher is available… time to gather up your lose change in the car again!
Trouble the Pirate got all philosophical
How much would a menage a Trois be… Just askin’?
ProphetJoe the Irreverent commented
I’m not down with that… even if you are a pirate!
SQUAAAWWKKK
Trouble the Pirate penned this
What made you think you were invited PJ? I was talkin’ ’bout Miss Christine, Me and the Parrot…
ProphetJoe the Irreverent thought this
Somehow I picture the parrot whispering sweet nothings into Christine’s ear whenever Trouble is otherwise occupied and unable to speak…
Christopher the Pyro spake, and sayeth
lol,
That isn’t exactly how that conversation went… Christine was trying to convince me she wouldn’t sleep with a random person for 100 million. I assured her that I would. I was pretty sure that with 100 million I could convince her to forgive me.
Christine the Lioness chimed in with
Well… he started out saying $100,000 and when I said I wouldn’t become a prostitute for $100,000 he upped it to a hefty 100 million. And yes… he did give me a list of all the things he’d buy me with a hundred million dollars that he would receive from sleeping with whomever. Of course… I wonder if that would change if it were a man that wanted to sleep with him…
ProphetJoe the Irreverent quibbed this
“I wonder if that would change if it were a man that wanted to sleep with him…”
Well… there WAS a wealthy pirate from the cayman islands here yesterday asking about a threesome…
Christopher the Pyro uttered
lol,
No I’m pretty sure all my morality is for sale for $100 million I don’t even want to know what messed up things I would do.
Christine the Lioness remarked
Hitler said the same thing…
ProphetJoe the Irreverent hunt n' pecked this
Just like a liberal — comparing the conservative to Hilter… *sigh*
Christopher the Pyro mentioned
Hey… let’s not forget all the good things Hitler did…
ProphetJoe the Irreverent pontificated
yeah… like gun control, for instance.
Hillary, Chuck Schumer, Dick Durbin, and Mayors Bloomberg and Richard Daley are all following Hitler’s footsteps… “outlaw the guns and let the state protect you!”
No thanks… give me a gun to protect myself against thugs and liberals like you!
Christine the Lioness spake, and sayeth
Guns don’t kill liberals. Liberals kill liberals. And Michael Vick kills dogs. And child abduction seems to happen ten times more often in Florida than any other state… why is that?
Christopher the Pyro mentioned
Maybe the kids are cuter there…
ProphetJoe the Irreverent said this
I’ve always suspected that the majority of the “abductions” were either gators (an easy meal), or teenage girls stowing away on freighters trying to get to the Cayman Islands…
Christine the Lioness remarked
Except for when they find their bodies buried in shallow graves. Although, sometimes gators do that too…
wardpower the Virgin up'n wrote this
So is the bidding still open on this one or has it long since closed?
ProphetJoe the Irreverent spake, and sayeth
I believe the bidding is still open and the bid is currently at 2,500,00 Cayman Dollars — isn’t that correct?
Christine the Lioness commented
LOL… yes, I think that is right.
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