Originally posted on March 14th, 2005

Unfortunately, our monkey of a president is giving our bing bangs a bad name… so I’d like to go on the record and explain just how dissimilar our bushes are from, well, the dick that’s leading our country…

1. My pussy does not try to force its right-wing religious beliefs off on other people, and disguise it as a “traditional family value.”

2. My pussy is not hated by nearly every other country in the world.

3. My pussy did not spend millions of the taxpayer’s money to fly military aircraft 30 miles and land on the USS Abraham Lincoln just for a photo opportunity.

4. My pussy was not convicted of drunk driving.

5. My pussy has never taken campaign contributions from key player in the Enron scandal Kenneth Lay (but it has been laid by a guy named Ken -) )

6. My pussy still sees the [...]

More

72 Comment(s)

10 Things I have Learned Thus Far

Posted on March 12th, 2008 by Christopher.
Categories: Top Tens.

1. If you’re not crashing, you’re not trying.
2. Laziness is bad for the soul.
3. I’ll most likely never run for any office.
4. Some places are not as interesting as they look.
5. Be Honest. [All good lies come to an end].
6. Take care of the people you love.
7. Don’t say Maybe when you really mean No.
8. It’s hard not to act so desperate when you are.
9. Mistakes are an important part of life.
10. Worrying Solves Nothing.

13 comments.

Ten Reasons Why I Hate Corn Dogs

Posted on March 5th, 2008 by Christine.
Categories: Hilarious, Top Tens.

1. The corn breading on the outside tastes nothing like corn bread.

2. The hot dog on the inside is usually shriveled and malformed suggesting it is inferior to the more visually aesthetic hot dogs that are destined to be served in buns.

3. The stick is only convenient for the first few bites. After that, you have to start eating from the sides, ensuring that eventually you will have to balance the last couple of bites on the deceptively narrow stick which is almost impossible to do, and more often than not, the last bite, no longer anchored, falls off the stick and onto the ground.

4. If you dip your corn dog into ketchup, the hot dog on a …

Keep reading >>

3 comments.

Christine’s New List of the Funniest Movies

Posted on June 5th, 2007 by Christine.
Categories: Top Tens.

Top Ten Funniest Movies (if you were to ask me my opinion right now)

1. Meet the Parents
2. Old School
3. Wedding Crashers
4. Knocked Up
5. Eurotrip
6. The 40-Year-Old Virgin
7. Dumb and Dumber
8. National Lampoon’s Vacation
9. Happy Gilmore
10. The Ringer
11. There’s Something About Mary

(Yes, I realize that’s 11… but I’ve learned to embrace my indecisive behavior and just go with it) -)

14 comments.

10 Reasons Cats are Cooler than Dogs

Posted on April 19th, 2007 by Christine.
Categories: Top Tens.

image004.jpg

1. Cats can jump to a height of over six times it’s own height. Dogs can jump to only twice their own height and have little control over how they land or have the ability to “stick” a landing like a cat does.

2. If a cat falls, it has the ability to right itself and land on its feet before hitting the ground due to the way his/her inner ear canal is designed. (Good job, God!)

3. Cats have incredible night vision and only need 1/6th of the light humans need in order to see. I love their flashy, flashy eyes! Dogs rely on their sense of smell because their …

Keep reading >>

118 comments.

10 Thoughts of Advice To Young Men

Posted on April 6th, 2007 by Christopher.
Categories: Top Tens, True Story.

Young men provide the genius and muscle by which our society thrives. Look at the Silicone Valley. By in large, it was not old men or women that created the revolution we live.

Rules About People
1. You’ll spend your entire life listening to people tell you how much you owe them. You don’t owe the vast majority of people shit.

2. Know that few people have your best interests at heart. Your mother does. Your father does. Your siblings are on your side. Everybody else worries about themselves.

Thoughts About Women:

3. Don’t hate women. It’s a waste of time

4. Don’t speak ill of your wife/girlfriend. Back her up against the world, even if she’s wrong. She should know that you have …

Keep reading >>

53 comments.

« Older