1. If you’re not crashing, you’re not trying.
2. Laziness is bad for the soul.
3. I’ll most likely never run for any office.
4. Some places are not as interesting as they look.
5. Be Honest. [All good lies come to an end].
6. Take care of the people you love.
7. Don’t say Maybe when you really mean No.
8. It’s hard not to act so desperate when you are.
9. Mistakes are an important part of life.
10. Worrying Solves Nothing.
Category Archives: Top Tens
Lookin’ for a quickie? Christine and Christopher give you the ten best… and worst… of everything.
Ten Reasons Why I Hate Corn Dogs
1. The corn breading on the outside tastes nothing like corn bread.
2. The hot dog on the inside is usually shriveled and malformed suggesting it is inferior to the more visually aesthetic hot dogs that are destined to be served in buns.
3. The stick is only convenient for the first few bites. After that, you have to start eating from the sides, ensuring that eventually you will have to balance the last couple of bites on the deceptively narrow stick which is almost impossible to do, and more often than not, the last bite, no longer anchored, falls off the stick and onto the ground.
4. If you dip your corn dog into ketchup, the hot dog on a stick design inhibits you from really controlling how much ketchup gets on any one bite.
5. It’s impossible to put relish on a corn dog, eliminating one of the three most popular hot dog condiments.
6. The part of the breading closest to the stick’s handle often gets too dark and chewy.
7. They are the cheapest thing you can buy at CostCo implying that they may not be made of the freshest, most desirable ingredients.
8. They can roll around on one of those mechanical heaters all day and unlike any other consumable substance, remain virtually unchanged eight hours later.
9. They don’t taste good and leave you wishing you’d had a real hot dog because that’s what you were hungry for anyway.
10. If you try to grill a corn dog, it will catch fire and fall through the grates.
Christine’s New List of the Funniest Movies
Top Ten Funniest Movies (if you were to ask me my opinion right now)
1. Meet the Parents
2. Old School
3. Wedding Crashers
4. Knocked Up
5. Eurotrip
6. The 40-Year-Old Virgin
7. Dumb and Dumber
8. National Lampoon’s Vacation
9. Happy Gilmore
10. The Ringer
11. There’s Something About Mary
(Yes, I realize that’s 11… but I’ve learned to embrace my indecisive behavior and just go with it) 
10 Reasons Cats are Cooler than Dogs
1. Cats can jump to a height of over six times it’s own height. Dogs can jump to only twice their own height and have little control over how they land or have the ability to “stick” a landing like a cat does.
2. If a cat falls, it has the ability to right itself and land on its feet before hitting the ground due to the way his/her inner ear canal is designed. (Good job, God!)
3. Cats have incredible night vision and only need 1/6th of the light humans need in order to see. I love their flashy, flashy eyes! Dogs rely on their sense of smell because their eye sight isn’t as good.
4. Cats begin dreaming at only 1 week old, but they never have those weird, disturbing whoop-whoop dreams that dogs have.
5. 40% of cats are ambidextrous while 30% are right pawed and 30% are left pawed. I don’t know how this makes them better than dogs, but I thought it was a cool fact. Meisha is ambidextrous.
6. While dogs tend to get lost easily and need a person to help them, “PSI trailings” explain a cat’s ability to travel a long distance to return to their home. Although the phenomenon isn’t understood completely, they use the earth’s gravity to determine “their place” in the world, and to develop the ability to return there when necessary.
7. A cat can rotate her ears independently (dogs cannot) and each ear rotates 180 degrees, allowing her to locate the direction of a sound 10 times faster than the best watch dog.
8. Cats tend to respond better to women than men due to the fact that women have higher pitched voices — or maybe because they’re just smarter than dogs… and men.
9. In 1987, cats overtook dogs as the number one pet in America. And in the U.S., households earning $60,000 or more annually, are twice as likely to have a cat than a dog.
10. It has been scientifically proven that stroking a cat can lower a human’s blood pressure. Stroking a dog probably could too… but cats are more fun to pet… especially when they are all purry and snuggly and curl up on your lap.
I’ve had both dogs and cats and love ‘em both. But if I had to choose only one… I’d pick a cat. Meisha is amazing and the best companion. She lays on my desk when I’m working, sleeps next to me at night (which is more than I can get Christopher to do), brings me her little cat toys and drops them at my feet so we can play together, and makes really cute little sounds– she has a sound for every emotion.
10 Thoughts of Advice To Young Men
Young men provide the genius and muscle by which our society thrives. Look at the Silicone Valley. By in large, it was not old men or women that created the revolution we live.
Rules About People
1. You’ll spend your entire life listening to people tell you how much you owe them. You don’t owe the vast majority of people shit.
2. Know that few people have your best interests at heart. Your mother does. Your father does. Your siblings are on your side. Everybody else worries about themselves.
Thoughts About Women:
3. Don’t hate women. It’s a waste of time
4. Don’t speak ill of your wife/girlfriend. Back her up against the world, even if she’s wrong. She should know that you have her back. When she needs your help, give it. She should know that you’ll take her part.
5. If your girlfriend doesn’t make you feel good about yourself and bring joy to your life, fire her. That’s what girlfriends are for.
6. Don’t bother with “emotional affairs.” They are just a vehicle for women to flirt and have someone make them feel good about themselves. That’s the part of a relationship they want. For you it is a lot of work and investment in time. If they are having an emotional affair with you, they’re probably fucking someone else.
General Thoughts
7. Don’t pick on the weak. It’s immoral. Don’t antagonize the strong without cause, its stupid.
8. When you become a man in full, know that people will get in your way. People who are attracted to you will somehow manage to step in your path. Gay guys will give you “the look.” Old people will somehow stumble in front of you at the worst time. Don’t get frustrated. Just step aside and go about your business. Know that these are passive aggressive methods to get you to acknowledge their existence.
9. Don’t believe the crap about the patriarchy. More women are accepted and attend college. More degrees are awarded to women than men. Women outlive men. More men commit suicide. Men are twice as likely to be victims of violence, including murder. If you consider sexual assaults in prisons, twice as many men are raped as women (society thinks prison rape is funny). The streets are littered with homeless men, sprinkled with a few homeless women. Statically, women are happier than men. The myth that girls are being cheated by are educational system is belied by the fact that schools are bastions of femininity, mostly run by and taught by women. Girls outperform boys in school. It is the boys in school getting fucked over, and prescribed ritalin for being boys. Real wages for men are falling, while real wages for women are rising. Just because someone says something enough times, doesn’t make it true. You have nothing to feel guilty about.
10. Don’t take proffered advice without a critical analysis. 90% of all advice is intended to benefit the proponent, not the recipient. Actually, the number is probably closer to 97%, but I don’t want to come off as cynical.