10 Ways to Celebrate President’s Day…

Posted on February 16th, 2006 by Christine.
Categories: Hilarious, Top Tens.

I came up with 10 very special ways to celebrate President’s Day…

1. Go hunting with the Vice President… just make sure you wear a bullet-proof vest.
2. Abuse some Iraqi prisoners and then suggest that you tear down the prison where it happened.
3. Go fishing.
4. Chop down a cherry tree… if you can’t find a cherry tree, pick an orange off of someone else’s tree.
5. Take a few months off work and go to your ranch in Texas to play golf.
6. Make a tall “Abe Lincoln” hat out of paper, then put it on and walk around a predominately black area of your city and tell the black …

6 comments.

10 Simple Truths…

Posted on February 6th, 2006 by Christine.
Categories: Hilarious, Top Tens.

1. Why does a “slight tax increase” cost you $200 and a “significant tax cut” saves you 30 cents?
2. Why can we locate one cow in America that has Mad Cow disease out of six million American cows, yet we can’t locate thousands of illegal immigrants or six terrorists? Maybe we should put the Dept. of Agriculture in charge of Homeland Security and Immigration.
3. Why do we pay “Financial Advisors” to save us money? I know how to save money… start by firing your Financial Advisor…
4. The only sure thing in life is… whatever the fine print says, you aren’t going to like it.
5. Money can’t buy happiness… but it is more comfortable to cry in …

5 comments.

10 Things My Mother Told Me that Were Complete Lies

Posted on January 17th, 2006 by Christine.
Categories: Hilarious, Top Tens.

Here are 10 Things My Mother Told Me that Were Complete Lies…
1. “If you have sex, your thighs will get big.”
I swear to God… this one kept me a virgin until I was 18 and finally realized that all my slutty friends still had skinny thighs…
2. “If you go outside with wet hair, you’ll catch a cold.”
We all know that the cold virus doesn’t care how damp your hair is… but I always made sure my hair was dry.

3. “If you eat watermelon at night, you’ll wet the bed.”
I loved watermelon… it was my favorite food as a kid. I don’t think that watermelon and bladder control are connected… but I could be wrong …

21 comments.

10 Things I’ve Learned from Christopher…

Posted on January 2nd, 2006 by Christine.
Categories: Top Tens.

1. I’m not as good at Tetris as I thought I was.
2. Don’t engage in an argument if you don’t have facts to support your position.
3. There really are men who take a lot of pride in taking care of the woman in their lives.
4. Potatoes cannot, under any circumstances, be left unattended under a sink for several months.
5. Firefox really is better than IE.
6. Some men don’t need any help knowing what to do in bed.
7. You can completely lie about someone stabbing you, and people will actually believe it.
8. Paying off debt is much easier when you have an actual plan that you stick to….

44 comments.