Category Archives: Religion

Mar 25

What is Wrong with People – Part I

What is wrong with people who don’t believe in evolution?

The percent of Americans who reject evolution is close to 50 percent. About 35 percent believe the Bible should be taken literally, and if you are a Biblical literalist, evolution is not compatible with that view. For the rest-mainstream, nonliteralist Christians-it is mostly a matter of human exceptionalism: the idea that humans are different and unique from all other organisms. Par of that is the “ick factor” – “I’m not monkey!” If people understood more about animals, they’d appreciate that it’s hard to find lines that demarcate us from them.

At a Democratic presidential debate this year, three candidates raise their hands when asked who didn’t believe in evolution. These are not even the dumbest people in America; they’re just trying to court the “dumb” vote. Some churches believe that God put animal fossils on the earth to test our faith. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED GOD! What would these people need to see to believe in evolution?

Feb 9

Just When You Think You’ve Met the Biggest Asshole Ever…

Just when you think you’ve met the biggest asshole ever, it turns out you probably haven’t. Unless, of course, you’ve had the pleasure of meeting one of the congregation members of the Westboro Baptist Church headquartered in good ole Topeka, Kansas. If you’re not familiar with this passionately active group of morally upstanding citizens, you can learn all about their doctrine on their website (www.godhatesfags.com). That is not, to give them more press, but I think it’s important to be aware that psychos like this exist, and spread their insecurity and hatred by harrassing the families of recently the recently deceased by picketing funerals.

The crux of their incredibly insightful belief system is basically this– bad things (like death) happen in America because God hates America. Why does God hate America? Because America doesn’t persecute homosexuals. So in line with this logical and rational line of thinking, the god-fearing folks at WBC have come to some very reasonable conclusions that the rest of us may have glossed over… here are a few:

God killed Heath Ledger because he played a homosexual in “Brokeback Mountain.”
The fact that Jake Gyellenhaal is still alive means…?

The tornado that swept across five states last week and killed more than 50 people was God’s subtle way of showing his distaste for the U.S.
I’m irritated that my fourth grade science curriculum forced me to learn a much more complex and convoluted, yet scientifically-based explanation– something about abundant low level moisture and updrafts?

God hates the U.S. military because it allows gays to serve, and therefore caused Marine Cpl. Cesar Laurean to rape, murder, and burn pregnant Marine Lance Cpl. Maria Lauterbach.
But she wasn’t gay… and neither was he… so… could you just explain that connection one more time??

It’s all so simple, I’m surprised the rest of us didn’t get it earlier.

Their website is quite the interesting read. On it, one will find:

A schedule of funerals around the country that the WBC plans to picket, along with obscure and sometimes unintelligible explanations as to why the deceased was connected to homosexuality or the advocation or homosexuality (or sometimes, when they can’t find that link, they just connect the person to the evil United States).

A video in which WBC members explain what their picket signs mean– because contrary to the belief that picket signs should convey what’s being protested, most of their’s… don’t. So verbal explanation is also necessary.

A list of current events in which people have been killed all over the world which clearly proves that God does hate fags.

Photos of church members’ impressionable young offspring shouting hate messages and holding signs as they progress through the indoctrination process.

And links to articles about how God decided to attack America the night that a Topeka man, Kent Lindstrom, set off a pipe-bomb (which police described as a big firecracker) in the Westboro Baptist Church.
I, for one, have always thought that Kent Lindstrom should represent the United States… oh wait, I didn’t mean Kent Lindstrom… I meant the President. But it’s probably a safe assumption that Kent’s feelings toward your church accurately represent those of the rest of the country.

Oh, and don’t let me forget… the blog post about how the September 11th attacks were God’s way of punishing America for rejecting Him.

I’m all for freedom of religion and every individual’s freedom to practice whatever whacked out belief they want to practice in the name of God, but that support ends the moment one feels the “right” to harass a mourning family by picketing and holding up signs suggesting God hates the deceased. These people are the reason states are adopting laws preventing protests at funerals– as pathetic as it is, laws like that are apparently necessary.

My personal opinion, is that all these WBC hatemongers are in for a big surprise when they die, expecting to arrive in a fag-free paradise and find out that the Christian God they’ve been harassing folks in the name of, isn’t all that supportive of their efforts. Since God apparently sends messages of hate through violence, could Kent’s little pipe bomb been God’s way of tactfully suggesting that the Westboro Church stop tossing His name around?

I don’t profess to know much about religion, but I did spend a few summers in Vacation Bible School and I will point out these few basic Christian notions (since they may not have read this far in the Bible yet) to the Westboro Bible Toters:

God’s message is one of love. The concept that God “hates” any of His children is a paradox in and of itself. Now aware of this, I suggest you update your web address from www.godhatesfags.com to “thewestborobaptistchuchhatesfags.com”. Let’s not speak for God when He hasn’t asked us to.

If death on earth is a punishment from God, then you must not be expecting much in the afterlife. Given your actions, you’re probably on to something there.

If the basis of your dogma is a belief in predestination (there’s a painfully long explanation of this on the site), then why does one need to picket or “educate” the general masses which is presumably, to influence their life decisions?

I’m just curious. Actually, no I’m not.

Sep 23

Thoughts on Religion

Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.
~ Napoleon

We must question the story logic of having an all-knowing all-powerful God, who creates faulty humans, and then blames them for his own mistakes.
~ Gene Roddenberry

Man is certainly stark mad: he cannot make a worm, yet he will make gods by the dozen.
~ Michel de Montaigne

If you can conceive of morality without god, why can you not conceive of society without government?
~ Peter Saint-André

I contend that we are all atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.
~ Stephen Roberts

Jul 2

The Devil’s Advantage…

It turns out that Heaven isn’t above Hell. Rather, Heaven and Hell share the same plane and are separated only by a long wooden fence.

One day, the Devil decides to throw a huge bash. Lots of bands perform with some of the biggest names, and the Damned start having a heck of a party. Toward the end of the festivities, a big fireball fight breaks out and sure enough, one lands on the fence and burns it down.

God complains to the Devil and insists that the Devil rebuild the fence. The Devil says, “Sure, no problem. I’ve got all the union leaders over here as well as most of the building contractors.”

So, the fence is rebuilt but it’s three feet to one side so that Hell has taken over three feet of Heaven. God is pissed.

“If you don’t move that fence back,” yells God, I’m going to sue your butt.”

“Yeah, right,” says the Devil. “Where are you gonna get a lawyer?”

Jun 7

A Philosophical Question…

buddha-sm.jpg

I used to love thinking about philosophical questions. Back when I was in college, I could sit with other people at a coffee shop for hours and have lofty conversations, debating the true meaning of life, the existence of God, love, or any other thought-provoking topic that someone could think up and the rest of us could spend an hour listening to ourselves talk about it. Ahhh… life was good back then. Back when I had the time to sit for hours in a coffee shop.

These days, I don’t have time to wait for my automatic coffee maker to brew and I intentionally return phone calls when I know people aren’t home so I can avoid talking to them. Adulthood has robbed me of the bliss of pondering philosophical questions. That’s why, a few months ago, I was kind of thrilled to go to a one-day workshop/seminar given by three religious leaders– a Baptist minister, a Buddhist, and a Daoist. I got a lot out of going, but there was one thing in particular that I found very valuable. And for days afterward, I successfully kept it in the front of my mind– until it gave way to other things I have to think about. For those few days, it made a difference in my behavior, how I thought, how I saw the world and my place in it, so I thought I’d share it with you to contemplate as well.

The Buddhist posed a question for us to consider:

“Let’s pretend, that before you were born, you chose to come into the world. And knowing everything you know right now, you chose every detail of what you wanted to be. If you’re a black woman, you chose to be a woman and you chose to be black. You chose who your parents were going to be, what country you’d be born in, what your talents are, what you would look like. And you chose these things because there is something you need to learn during your life, and you were certain that your collection of choices was the best combination of tools to help you learn that one single thing. Now… knowing that you chose every aspect of your life– and that you could have chosen differently but didn’t– how does that affect you?”