Madonna, being the mother that she is– and the original “Material Girl”– wants her 9-year-old daughter (Lourdes) to start learning the value of fiscal responsibility, and has decided to give her kid a credit card with a $10,000 limit. Lourdes, as I mentioned before, is 9 years old…

This is what happens when celebrities who live in castles and can purchase half of the free world in cash, decide to instruct their bratty little offspring about “the reality” and “responsibility” of understanding economic concepts. The problem is… I’m not convinced Madonna understands it herself. This is sort of like a Klansman lecturing college students on the importance of cultural diversity.
And why does Lourdes need to know how to be financially responsible anyway? Will she ever have to file bankruptcy because of credit card debt? Will she ever have to pay back a student loan? Find a work-study job? Eat Top Ramen nine days in a row so she can pay her rent? Will she have trouble opening that first checking account? Apparently not… some bank gave a prepubescent child a credit card with a higher limit than most adults who hold down a full-time job and have a credit score over 750.

And what is Lourdes going to buy? I’m sure it will be a lot because I get the sense with a mother like her’s… she must want for so many things that the privileged children get. Poor Lourdes. Thank God… now she can actually go buy that Barbie doll she’s always wanted… and maybe treat herself to a Playskool Karaoke machine.

What ever happened to $5 a week allowance and having to save up to buy the toy you wanted until you waited so long, the stores no longer carried them? What happened to making your child put half their allowance away in savings to learn the importance of keeping reserves? What’s Lourdes saving up for? A Ferrarri?

Madonna, Madonna, Madonna… I started arching my eyebrow when you went off the deep end with the Kabbalah, but babe, this time, you’re on your own…