Doctors Ruin Natural Selection

Posted on March 16th, 2006 by Christopher.
Categories: Hilarious.

“At the time, he was uncooperative,” said the Saline County Sheriff, describing the difficulty deputies encountered in finding the cause of a self-inflicted bullet wound. Perhaps Michael, the 27-year-old victim of his inner klutz, was simply embarrassed to admit he had managed to shoot himself in the groin with a 22-caliber bullet, while armed only with a pellet gun.

The deputy’s report included no mention of alcohol, so Michael was apparently sober when he placed a bullet on a picnic table and fired at it with his air rifle. The results he expected are not known. But the experiment yielded conclusive data. As he eventually, and abashedly, explained to a detective, “a pellet from the rifle hit the shell, causing it to explode.”

The bullet shot into his groin, fragmenting into an area rich with major nerves and arteries, thereby presenting an interesting challenge to Kansas City neurosurgeons. They were up to the task, and Michael lived.

17 comments.

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Christine the Lioness said this

LOL!!!!! As long as they didn’t save anything he needs to procreate, the process of natural selection still works! Thank God! -)

March 16th, 2006

eric the Lil' Devil commented

doctors aren’t the only ones who ruin natural selection, the gov. does as well. basically, by allowing the stupid rednecks who parented this asshole to let him live. ofcourse i’m pro-choice, to the point that you should be able to condone abortions up to age, wait how old is that goofy ass bitch that you guys keep letting post under new names? anyway, abortions to her age!l-)

March 16th, 2006

Haas the Addict hunt n' pecked this

Lol…
The results he expected are not known.
Well da, dont think he wanted that to happen ) )

March 16th, 2006

Keith the Director spake, and sayeth

I see a darwin award winner for the year here! l-) what the hell kind of experiment was he attemting in the first place? Rednecks always good for a laugh! < ) )

March 17th, 2006

aJ the Zen Master spake, and sayeth

And we have a WINNER.
This year’s Darwin awards, 5th place goes to Michael “The Klutz” from Saline County ) D

March 17th, 2006

aJ the Zen Master uttered

Ok.. I just saw Keith’s comment. I’d opened the page and gone out for a few minutes during which he posted..

March 17th, 2006

Keith the Director asserted

It’s ok Aj we have seen your spelling error we know you are slow ) j/p

March 17th, 2006

Keith the Director remarked

my bad aj is wasnt you who was having spelling issues it was haas I just read so many of your posts at the same time I got ya mixed up. my bad. well I guess this means you are just slow but a good speller! d

March 17th, 2006

Haas the Addict uttered

So does that me im fast but a bad speller d

March 17th, 2006

Keith the Director scribbled

Perhaps haas…I give credit to aj as a teacher that after all his coaching he student has propelled to be faster than the coach which is the way things should work…;) I guess we just have to be stuck with the fact you will never be able to spell d

March 18th, 2006

Keith the Director thought this

wow that was not the emoticon i used oh well..my point was made d

March 18th, 2006

Keepin_up_with_Katie the Virgin penned this

“The NRA says guns don’t kill people, people do.”
“Well, I think the guns help…” - Eddie Izzard

March 8th, 2008

Christine the Lioness stated

You can kill someone by running them over with your car, too. Should we get rid of cars?

March 8th, 2008

Christopher the Pyro remarked

Knives, Candlesticks, Rocks, Spears…

March 8th, 2008

Christopher the Pyro said this

Also… Why in the world would I think listening to Eddie Izzard be a good idea..

March 8th, 2008

Keepin_up_with_Katie the Virgin said this

Christoper, I never stated it was a good idea for you to be thinking……. listening to Eddie Izzard was a good idea. I only wanted to give him credit for his quote.

Have you ever listened to Eddie Izzard? Just curious.

March 9th, 2008

Christine the Lioness asserted

I highly doubt Christopher could get past Eddie’s spiked heel boots, make up, arched eyebrows and British accent. It’s simply not Christopher’s type of humor.

March 10th, 2008

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