English isn’t for Idiots…

Posted on April 15th, 2005 by Christine.
Categories: Hilarious, Sex and Relationships.

Ladies… are you at wit?s end with men who try to pick you up in bars? Do you get hit on by a low-life every time you turn around? Does the thought of going out with these losers make your stomach turn? Well, we have the answer to your prayers…

The Idioms for Idiots Dating Service
Where romance is in the cards…

At IIDS, you?ll be on cloud nine when you find out what kind of men we?ll fix you up with. These guys are cream of the crop?filthy rich go-getters who know their stuff. We?ll hook you up with men who well off, in great shape, and are looking to meet the woman of their dreams. And these guys aren?t too hard on the eyes either. They turn heads wherever they go. They?re quick on the uptake, but they won?t bore you to tears with lame chit-chat about what they do for a living. They?ll just let you know they?re not scared of rolling up their sleeves and putting in a full day?s work. And make no bones about it, these men have it together and know how to treat a lady…You?ll feel like a new woman on the arm of one of our handsome hunks. Check out what some of our customers are saying about us:

?I was tickled pink when I met Jake through IIDS. We went out and painted the town red. He even added me as an authorized user on his charge account. Jake and I are getting along great!?
? Goldie Gerr, Austin TX

?I usually shy away from blind dates, but the date I had through ?Idiots? was a whole different story. He was a real family man who knows how to bring home the bacon. Unfortunately, he was already hitched, but I?m looking forward to more blind dates through IIDS.?
- Nada Smartwon, Petaluma, CA

?I was living hand to mouth until I met George through IIDS. The first time I laid eyes on him, I knew he was my knight in shining armor! George is the type of guy who throws money around like it grows on trees! The $1500 initiation fee was well worth it!?-Liza Lott Las Vegas, NV

So for the dirt cheap price of only $1500, you can become a card-carrying member of the Idioms for Idiots Dating Service. Don?t miss the boat! Time is running out for you to jump on this amazing offer! You can?t afford to pass it up!

(Unfortunately, Idioms for Idiots Dating Service went broke. Accused of pulling the wool over the eyes of women by advertising a product that doesn?t exist, they were forced to close their doors. If you, or anyone you know, was harmed in any way by Idioms for Idiots Dating Service, and would like to be a part of the pending class action lawsuit, please call Sue Yorass, Esq. at Fuggya, Upp, Yorass, and Laaf at 1-800-Amublance chasers)

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