Christine the Lioness (3122)
Christopher the Pyro (1985)
ProphetJoe the Irreverent (1234)
Trouble the Pirate (600)
Keith the Director (573)
Mara the Peacemaker (532)
eric the Lil' Devil (351)
AJ the Zen Master (305)
Ben the Kingpin (213)
Haas the Addict (187)
Christine 2 the Mercenary (131) Lei the Mercenary (124) Katie the Mercenary (115)
Ben2 the Soldier (56) Christopher the Pyro chimed in with
Three Arkansas surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed.
One of them said, “I’m the best surgeon in Arkansas. In my favorite case, a concert pianist lost seven fingers in an accident, I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England.
The second surgeon said. “That’s nothing. A young man lost an arm and both legs in an accident, I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in track and field events in the Olympics.”
The third surgeon said, “You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a woman was high on cocaine and marijuana and she rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the woman’s blonde hair and the horse’s ass. I was able to put them together and now she’s a senator from New York.
eric the Lil' Devil hunt n' pecked this
hillary has a condition known as addadicktame which when present causes a patch of hair to grow from her chest down to the newly installed dick!
Keith the Director stated
i’d give 2 gallons..I like big fires hahah 
Keith the Director spake, and sayeth
oh and let me add…eric you said it bro hillary is the defintion of the word penis envy!
Christine the Lioness said this
Well… I don’t blame Hilary… those Cuban cigars aren’t that long… 
Actually… I know I posted that joke above… but the more I think about it, the more wrong I realize it is… It really wouldn’t be right to burn them… I mean, if that really happened, Satan wouldn’t have much to do…
aJ the Zen Master hunt n' pecked this
Sheesh.. If they all went together to hell, then hell would soon declare war on Heaven for hiding WMDs
Sigh.. There is just no solution to them 
Haas the Addict thought this
Or Dick might get thrown out for shooting Satan in the ass(by mistake ofcourse…)
Keith the Director mentioned
actually you know what i see if this were to happen…a re-enactmentof the south park movie when saddam is in hell…only 10 fold. Plus when that prick finally dies..look out!
Christine the Lioness mentioned
Won’t see ‘em again ’til the fourth of Juuulyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy…
Keith the Director uttered
Nd a luagh? Read this….Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately takethe words back…or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the
Testimonials of a few people who did….
FIRST CASE:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three
kids in tow and asked loudly, “How much do you
charge for a shampoo and a blow job?” I turned around
and walked back out and never went back. My husband
didn’t say a word…he knew better.
SECOND CASE:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf
balls. I was unhappy with the women’s type I had
been using. After browsing for several minutes,
I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen
who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said, “I think I like
playing with men’s balls.”
THIRD CASE:
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a
store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we
were looking at the display case, the boy behind
the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied,
“No, I’m just looking at your nuts.” My sister
started to laugh hysterically, The boy grinned,
and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day,
my Sister has never let me forget.
FOURTH CASE:
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance
rom other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving
“right now” she would be punished. To my
horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a
voice just as threatening, “If you don’t let me go
right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing
Daddy’s pee-pee last night!” The silence was deafening
after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were
doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank
with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed
behind me, were screams of laughter.
FIFTH CASE:
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training
and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell
for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a
full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled
something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old
daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny
had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he
needed to go, and he said “No”. I kept thinking,
“Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don’t
have any clothes with me.” Then I said, “Danny, are you SURE you
didn’t have an accident?” “No,” he replied. I just KNEW that he
must have had an accident, because the smell was
getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time,
“Danny, did you have an accident?” This time he
jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and
spread his cheeks and yelled, “SEE MOM, IT’S JUST
FARTS!!” While 30 people nearly choked to death on
their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best
laugh they’d ever had!
LAST CASE:
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and
a very embarrassed female news anchor who will,
in the future, likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don’t get
any….a true story… We had a female news anchor who,
the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn’t,
turned to the weatherman and asked:
“So Bob, where’s that 8 inches you promised me last night?”
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did
too they were laughing so hard!
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