HMO Bullshit Part I

Posted on December 14th, 2006 by Christine.
Categories: Pissed Off & Proud of It.

Okay, so yes, I am pissed. I have just about had it with the shitty fucking health care system in this country and from what people tell me, no one is happy with it, and yet, no one is doing a goddam thing about it (if I knew what to do, I’d do it).

Here’s the latest bullshit.

I pay $300 per month for Healthnet HMO (yes, I will mention the greedy piece of shit bastards by name). My $300 supposedly buys me the ability to see a doctor when I’m sick, get prescriptions at rates cheaper than what the drug companies would like to bilk the public out of, and allow me to go to the hospital in case of a catastrophic incident without forcing me into bankruptcy. It barely accomplishes any of those things… yet it certainly accomplishes cashing my checks twelve times a year.

So yesterday, I realize I have a bladder infection. It fucking hurts to pee. I used to get them a lot as a kid, but as an adult I only get them about twice a year. Still, if you’ve ever had one, you know they suck. So I go to Trader Joes and get cranberry pills (these are supposed to help according to articles I’ve read in health magazines, and the pills are better for you than drinking a shitload of sugar you’d get from consuming a big bottle of cranberry juice). Did they help? No.

So today I wake up and at 9pm, call my doctor’s office asking if my doctor will refill an old prescription I had six months ago for antibiotics for a bladder infection. The brain-dead college drop out who answered the phone says she’ll give her the message. I instantly question whether that message will ever actually arrive in my doctors’ hands, but I say a prayer and hope good Karma pays off.

An hour and a half later, still pissing fire and feeling like I have to go every ten minutes. I call again. Just checking to see if she was able to call in the prescription. Not yet… she’s still with a patient and the girl will leave another message on her desk that she’ll be sure she gets before she leaves the office at noon.

12:30. I call a third time. Explain that I’ve already left two messages, what I need again, and get put on hold. Get disconnected. I call back. They tell me my doctor is gone for the day and she took her messages with her. She’s gone to her “other office.” I ask for the number to the “other office” and they refuse to give it to me. (I’m guessing if I paid cash and didn’t have this piece o’ shit HMO, my doctor wouldn’t mind taking my call even though she’s at her “other office.”). I say “Fine. I’ll call her at home.” I was only sort of kidding because I truly would have spent my day tracking that bitch down.

Me: “Can you have another doctor approve the refill?”

Idiot: “No, there are no other doctors here. We are referring everyone to urgent care.”

Me: “So you mean I have to go spend six hours sitting in urgent care to get a refill of a prescription I’ve already taken? That seems a bit extreme.” I used the word extreme so she wouldn’t get offended, but it was standing in for all the other words going through my head like “ridiculously inefficient,” “like complete bullshit,” “fucking stupid.”

The girl says, “Oh hang on a sec…”

I wait. She comes back, a few IQ points short of where she was the last time I called and says, “Oh… yeah… your doctor left your file on her desk. She did approve the refill but this is a one-time exception and she does not prescribe antibiotics over the phone.”

Thank God I called back the third time… or ding-a-ling wouldn’t have thought to check whether the doctor had approved the refill or not.

Girl: “So just be aware that this is a one-time exception blah blah blah.”

Me (interrupting): “Yeah, I get it. (thinking she’s probably used to people having to repeat stuff for her) What pharmacy are you calling it into?”

She reads me the pharmacy name and phone number.

I thank her, hang up the phone, and pray that God make everyone on the planet (at least the ones I will run into in my life) just a little smarter.

The worst part about it, is because of my shitty Healthnet HMO, this kind of stuff happens all the time. Because doctor’s don’t get paid well anymore, they don’t give a shit and they hire dumbasses who couldn’t see a patient file if it sprouted wings and began to swoop down at them from the rafters.

Oh well, at least I’m finally getting my freaking antibiotics. It’s just too bad you have to turn into a complete bitch to get anybody to give you any customer service and accomplish basic tasks.

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