How Cars and Men are NOTHING Alike… ;-)

Posted on March 30th, 2006 by Christine.
Categories: Hilarious.

1. Cars are, for the most part, dependable. Men, for the most part, aren’t.

2. Cars take gas in, men let gas out.

3. Cars will go wherever you want to go, including the mall, without bitching and griping the entire way.

4. Cars don’t feel their masculinity is threatened when a woman is behind the wheel and a man is in the passenger seat.

5. After spending a day in the garage, a car still looks and smells good. Men do not.

6. A car does not “guess” at how fast it must be going.

7. Cars don’t get a beer gut and man-boobies. And they definitely don’t go bald!

8. When a car starts to make weird sounds, you can just trade it in.

9. Cars don’t get insecure when you ride in another car that has more horsepower.

10. Cars don’t get tired and konk out after going hard and fast for five minutes.

11. Cars can complete multiple tasks at the same time (turn in reverse, play the radio, and roll down their windows all at the same time). Men cannot.

12. Cars don’t lie.

13. Cars don’t drive thirty miles out of the way before deciding they should stop and get directions even though you mentioned thirty miles back that they were taking the wrong exit.

;-)

9 comments.

A Really Bad April Fools Joke… »« How a car and a relationship are similar.

Lei the Mercenary hunt n' pecked this

Hmmm, interesting contrasts… And to think that cars, they say, are penis extensions for many men :-”

March 30th, 2006

Ben the Kingpin asserted

1) You’ve been hanging around the wrong kinds of men.
2) Ditto.
3) Ditto.
4) Some men are insecure little dweebs who wrap their ego around their dick-size and their car. The rest of us are quite stable and secure. See comment on #1.
5) You need to find a man who doesn’t spend a day in the garage. Hello.
6) A decent driver should be able to maintain a constant speed with variation of less than 1 mph over 20 miles in normal traffic.
7) Healthy men don’t get those things, either.
8) This is where your neurosis is showing. Complain about dependability–and then espouse the opposite.
9) See #4.
10) See #7.
11) See #1.
12) See #1. Liars and cheats are “dishonorable”, they are not “men”.
13) See #1.

It really saddens me to see the world has degenerated to the point that most male humans can be described by this list.

You really need to find another fishing hole, Christine. )

March 30th, 2006

aJ the Zen Master asserted

(:| 8-|

March 30th, 2006

Trouble the Pirate quibbed this

Hey… ‘Bald’ is the new ‘hair’… BTW Lei… I ride a small bicycle…b-)

March 31st, 2006

Christine the Lioness spake, and sayeth

LOL, Trouble! Bald is the new hair for men who are in denial about going bald. But I agree… if you are losing your hair, shaving it off is much more attractive than a Tyra Banks forehead or a flesh yarmulke. ) )

March 31st, 2006

benz the Groupie penned this

Interesting really, but after all that’s been said, women still find men more interesting than cars.;)

March 31st, 2006

Christine the Lioness said this

That just proves we are illogical creatures after all… -)

March 31st, 2006

Christopher the Pyro said this

Illogical.. hmm.. that’s for sure.. some would say.. crazy.. or worst.. not me mind you.. but some.

April 1st, 2006

Keith the Director said this

Very nice contrasts in deed christine! =)) I needed a good laugh this morning! I’m gonna have to agree with ben a lot here on this one! If you haven’t meta dependable man yet ifeel bad for you! I also feel terrible for you if your men are huffing and puffing after 5 mins of hard n fast… l-)thats just pathetic, at least make it 10 ) give her a run for her money! Actually contrary to popular belief men like the mall, we just don’t like going with women b/c it takes all day, and unless we are going to victoria’s secrets we aren’t going clothes shopping with you!

April 1st, 2006

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