How to be a Good Blow Job Recipient

So I was chatting with one of my guy friends the other night and he started talking about this girl he’s dating and he told me he was kind of frustrated with the sex and I asked him why and he said that she doesn’t give blow jobs. Honestly, I was a little stunned. It’s the 21st century… who doesn’t give blow jobs??? Now I can understand not having oral sex when having casual sex…because quite frankly, if you’re going to use a condom or a dental dam then what’s the point? But in a committed, monogamous relationship, why wouldn’t you (unless you have some sexual hang up)?

Let me preface this post about how important oral sex is… with the revelation that I actually did date a guy who did not want to perform oral sex, nor did he want to receive it. Needless to say… that whole situation didn’t really work out for me.

I don’t really know if this is common or not (most women I know give head and talk freely about it after a margarita or two), but in case it is… and in case you’re a guy who’s into a girl who won’t, but would really like it if she would, then let me break this down for you…

First of all, you have to figure out the reason she doesn’t want to do this. It could be that she’s never done it before (if that’s the case, you’re in luck… once she tries it, she may really dig it). It could be that she had a bad experience (which is why, boys, I must emphasize that it’s really important that you don’t grab a girl’s head and shove it deeper into her throat when she isn’t expecting it… you will be contributing the suffering of mankind when she refuses to give a hummer to the next guy because you choked her — this sort of sucks for you– and not in a good way– because she may never be willing to try it again). OR… let’s face it, guys… it might be you personally.

The truth is… there are things girls will do with some guys (or try with some guys) and not other guys for a myriad of reasons… well, not really… for only a few reasons… and usually they are these two: 1. he makes her come harder, longer, and more often, so she’s more willing to put in the effort for him, and 2. he is more sensual… makes her feel more sexy… is a good coach without turning it into a lesson… so she trusts he’ll go at the right pace and trusts he’ll make it good for her too and basically be willing to do whatever he wants. But there are some things you might be doing (or might not be doing) that could improve your chances of convincing your girl to give you a b.j. and here they are…

1. Take a shower right before sex. It’s impossible to give a guy head when he smells like sweaty balls. She’ll enjoy it more and be more likely to go longer as well. (Don’t ever try to cover body odor with cologne!)

2. Shave if you are super hairy. If you look down and can’t see your balls through the forest, grab the scissors and get to work.

3. Find a comfortable position for her. I’m sure it’s different for everyone, but in my opinion, the best position is with the girl between your legs either on her knees if you’re sitting, or lying on her stomach near the foot of the bed if you’re lying on your back. It’s more difficult and less comfortable from the side or in 69, so pick a position where she can move her head and both hands freely without compensating for a strange angle.

4. Let her know if she’s doing what you like. She can’t feel what you’re feeling… and Lord knows we can’t read your minds. If she’s found a rhythm or depth or stroke that’s getting you there, communicate that by making the right noises if you don’t feel comfortable verbally letting her know. I’m a big advocate of just saying to the other person, “Oh yeah, baby… don’t stop” or “Slow down” or whatever. Remember, she’s doing this for you– not for her– so don’t just lie there and let her think she’s doing what you like when you’re really not getting closer to coming.

5. Don’t shove her head down at any point without letting her know you’re going to start controlling the movement. We don’t mind you doing it, we just don’t like the surprise. Let her know by putting your hand on the back of her head with a little pressure before you decide to push. She’ll feel your hand there and be ready for deeper thrusts.

6. Don’t try to make it last forever. Holding off on coming quick is reserved for vaginal sex only… and maybe anal if she doesn’t come right away from it. But if she’s giving you oral sex, or you’re titty-fucking, the sooner you come the better because she’s not going to orgasm from the experience. Get in the zone, relax, and let yourself come as soon as you can.

6. Don’t cum in her mouth without warning. Seriously… speak the fuck up. Say “I’m about to cum” a few seconds before so she can be ready to swallow.

7. Return the favor. In my opinion, nothing makes a girl come quite as hard and as many times as oral sex. Besides, once she’s orgasmed once from oral, it’s much easier to orgasm again during intercourse.

Good sex is a big part of a relationship. If your girl isn’t giving you head, let her know that you’d really like her to try it without being an ass about it. Don’t threaten to get it elsewhere, don’t make her feel inadequate, don’t lie and say it isn’t important to you if it really is. None of those things will ultimately get you to the place you want to be– leaning back on the sofa with your girl’s head in your lap. Suggest she talk to some of her friends about it because women really do give other women good advice on technique, and if she can get to the point where she’s comfortable talking about it, she can get to the point where she’s comfortable doing it.

And maybe if you’re lucky… she’ll end up liking it. A lot. Because what’s sexier than glancing up at your boy when you’ve got his dick deep in your mouth and seeing him watch you with that look on his face… yeah… you know what look I’m talking about. ;-)

57 thoughts on “How to be a Good Blow Job Recipient

  1. This is one of the silliest posts I’ve ever read..

    1. I would even talk to a girl if she didn’t give “exceptional” bj’s let alone date her! Seroiusly I do have some standards.

    2. I shouldn’t have to push your head down becuase your swallowing my cock without any interaction from me.

    3. All women should develop and oral fixation so they are giving head for their pleasure as much as mine and then this wouldn’t be an issue at all now would it?

  2. head should be a daily requirement!! since it is not.. men must be allowed to venture out to get strange ass to compensate for the shortcomings of the partner>:/

  3. c’mon now baby, you know better than that! cheating is an acceptable alternative to shitty head:d plus when i usually do it it’s better than ok;)

  4. Just FYI, my wife doesn’t like doing and it is completely an “act of love” for it to happen. She had sinus drainage all her life and the pre-ejaculate makes her feel very sick.

    Mind you, she’s fantastic at it and really has quite a marvelous technique. She just despises doing it.

  5. Ben,

    I want to send you like.. two Thai whores.. to make up for this tradgity but I have a feeling it would go against your morals so I’ll send them to someone who would apprecaite them.. like .. well myself.. ? Hrmm.. yep.. that just earned me an earful.

  6. I find it interesting that Christine wrote this post.

    Maybe ‘topher should write a post on how a woman should receive a deep throat fu(king (aka a Skull F**king) :o

  7. madeline u wanna give me a bj ??? ok meet me at the place where we had are first date and ill be there ready and i promise i wont piss in ur mouth !!!!!! i love u girl (l) (l) (l) (w) (w) (w)
    (f) (f) (f) (f) (f) (d) (d) (d) (d)

  8. i want to be able to get my boyfriend ready for me to give head to him but i am 12 and so is he do u think that we are a little young ????? :o ) cuz i no i want to fuck him but im not sure about him im a fast mover and he is not
    (f) (f) (f) (f) (f) (f) (f) (f)

  9. I was sort of hoping it was a joke especially since ‘sarah’ mentioned being 12 twice.

    Just in case it’s not…

    Here’s my opinion… when the time is right, you will know. You won’t need to ask your friends what they think, you won’t need to come on a blog and ask people you don’t know, and you won’t need to wonder if he wants it, or feel you need to ‘get him ready.’

    Everyone tells you about how great sex is, but the truth is… it doesn’t really get great until you’re much older. Until you’re in a committed, adult relationship, sex sort of just complicates things.

    I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 18 and I didn’t have oral sex before that either. And considering the chances are stacked against you about 100% that you will not end up with the guy you’re dating when you’re 12, I say wait for the guy you really think you might end up with. The sex will be better then anyway.

  10. YEEAAAAHHHHHHHH FOR MARA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Big time, Congrats!!

    I have a few questions:

    1) Do we now have to change your username to “Mara, Esq.” or how about “Mara, Attorney at Law”? Btw, I doubt “Peacemaker” is an acceptable moniker for a member of the CA Bar Association ;)

    2) Who here thinks Trouble will be seeking Mara’s advise pro bono? ;)

    3) When is the other big event — soon isn’t it???

    Congrats Again, Mara!!!!!!!!!!!!

  11. In the immortal words of Trouble the Pirate: “Apprezzo un mignotta quando succhia il pene alla parte posteriore della gola…

  12. OK Christine. I read your suggestions I tried everything. She still doesn’t want to give me a BJ. In fact last night I asked for just a little head and she yelled”NO!” and threw the TV remote across the room.
    Now what do I do? Or could she just be one of the 80% of women who won’t give a BJ no matter what?

  13. 80% of women who won’t give a BJ no matter what

    That’s a good one, Bob. Might I suggest getting her rip-roaring drunk then skull fucking her? ;)

  14. im 15 and me and my bf are always having sex\giving oral.
    giving bjs get better over time.
    he loves em, and i love givin em!! :p

  15. I have never given head or made love… Yet. But, I’m really thinking about it. I’m 17 and have been dating my boyfriend for a little over two years. We are very
    serious. I mean we plan on spending the rest of our life together. He even got me a promise ring. He’s the sweetest boyfriend a girl could ask for. He knows I’m not ready to make love and he never pressures me. We both want the moment to be right, perfect, and safe. But I would like to please him in other ways… I’ve done a… hand job? Over his clothes… But I’m scared to do more. I worry about the tatse a lot. Or just doing something wrong. Ugh, this is
    so frustrating…

  16. Carmen,

    Everybody goes through this. I wouldn’t worry about it to much go with the flow, learn together at the end of the day it’s like everything else in life. You can’t be good without practice.

  17. Well Carmen… Since Chris is taking the high-road, and PJ’s not around at the moment, I suppose it falls to me to play the devil’s advocate… First off, how are things in Amish country? ;) I’m just kidding… It’s admirable when a young person
    goes against the norm, has their own ideals and sticks to them despite peer pressure and your own feelings of frustration.

    There are a few realities to your situation however. The fact that you’re 17 [or claim to be...], have been dating this guy for over two years and have only tried the ‘hand-job’ thing, leaves a lot of speculation up in the air…
    Either your BF really IS the sweetest most patient guy in the world, OR he’s getting his jollies elsewhere… So, to be on the SAFE side, when you do decide to give him a blow-job, make sure you put a condom on him BEFORE you start anything. This will kill 2 birds with 1 stone so-to-speak… YOU will be safer from getting an STD [Sexually Transmitted Disease] AND providing you chose a non-lubricated condom, all you will taste is latex [rubber].
    If your BF is as “inexperienced” as you are, there is pretty much NOTHING you can do “wrong”… Other than scrape his penis with your teeth… That will cause 2 bad things to happen… a) He will be in pain, and 2) you could damage the condom and cause it to fail to protect YOU.
    If your BF is older or more “experienced”, then you should ask him what he would like you to do to him… Open communication is the key to good sex of any kind, and most men find it quite sexy when a woman actually tries to please them.

    A few points to ponder:
    1) STD’s can be passed with even minimal sexual contact, i.e. even pre-ejaculate [cum] touching your mucous-membranes [like inside your mouth, nose, ass, or vagina] only proper use of condoms can minimize this risk.
    2) Unless the age-of-consent is less than your age where you live, he will probably be breaking a few laws if you have sex. Possibly already with the heavy petting…
    3) Clean penises taste like skin [...er, SO I'M TOLD :o ) ], so if you are certain you are in a monogamous relationship with someone who has been recently tested negative for HIV and STD, then you shouldn’t worry too much about the taste of the penis.
    4) If you then want him to cum in your mouth, you have the option of spitting it out if you don’t like the taste. Rubbing it on your breasts while moaning like a pornstar is a good alternative to swallowing something that may make you gag.
    5) If he drinks pineapple juice for a few days before, it SUPPOSEDLY makes his cum taste better… I can’t say for sure, ’cause my cellmate in prison didn’t like pineapple juice… but Smoking, coffee and some other foods are considered to make it taste worse…
    6) After all of the above, remember that YOU are in control, and hence should not be scared, as long as he cares about you, and you both try to be as ‘safe’ as possible out of concern for each other’s well-being, then there IS nothing to be scared about.
    7) And most importantly… Blow-jobs are reciprocal, whosoever geteth, should also giveth… Meaning, if you are blowing him, he should also be giving you cunnilingus…

  18. Trouble, yes I am 17. He is 18, but we are both seniors. We
    both were completly unexperienced. Well, until lastnight and tonight, that is. He really is that amazing boyfriend. I know he would never cheat on me. But moving onto your advice… Number four was amazing. It made me laugh so hard. If only I was confident enough to do something like that, I think it would freak him out! Lmfao. And about the last part… He’s been hinting at it all day… I think it will happen soon… Thanks so much for your advice. And you too, Chris. That exactly what happened :]

  19. im 13, and i really like this girl. What do i do to make her like me? she’s really popular at school and i’m not so much. Somone please give advice what i can do to move on with just staring at her, i want to talk to her but i can only say like hi. please e-mail me at travisrasch@hotmail.com

    TY SO MUCH in advance. Please don’t fool me =( i really like her.

  20. ;) (w) ;( :s :p (u) (u) (u) (u) (u) (u) (u) (u) (u) (u) (u) (u) (u) (u) (u) (u) (u) (u) :d (*) :o ) 8) :( (f) (@) (e) :$ (&)

  21. Hi I have a problem only cuz it’s a problem for her becuase she thinks she isn’t good enough. My girl will give me head but isn’t able to get me to cum I think it feels great but the cum never comes. Idk if any women out there have a trick for her cuz I’m the only one she’s had this problem for and she feels bad tht she can’t get me off cuz she takes pride in giving good head but thinks it ain’t good enough for me cuz I dot cum. Any advice would be greatly appreciated thanks?

  22. So apparently my wife is the only woman that doesn’t want to be intimate… Awesome. I don’t understand. I want to give her pleasure, I would expect most people want to give the people they love pleasure. I am not irresponsible, I am not a flake, I am not ugly/smelly, etc. I am supportive, kind, generous, prosporous. Freakin’ lovely… :(

  23. At first my gf told me she wouldn’t care to do it then next time we had sex…it came that time… And i then found out she had lied and REALLY didn’t want to do it in the least. Lol. I then found out it was because she was extremely worried about the taste. I swore on my life i wouldn’t get off in her mouth and finally talked her into doing it. (for awhile i felt bad talking her into doing something she didn’t want to do but its ok because she later told me she kind of liked doing it. lol) And now she does it on a regular basis before we have sex. It’s great. (y) But whenever i tried to return the favor she very surprisingly stopped me :s We have amazing sex on a regular basis but she doesn’t want me to go down on her (the only reason i have any urge to go down on her to begin with is for her pleasure lol but still) If you’ve taken the time too read all this then possibly you could write a response if you know, as to why she’s so against getting the favor returned?
    -Michael Morton, 18

  24. This is like, the best article written. Me and my boyfriend haven’t had sex yet, but I give him blow jobs pretty often to keep him satisfied until the moment is right. I hate it when he pushes my head down while I’m doing it though. He ALWAYS does it right from the start, but at least he stops when I pull away, which is good so I don’t puke all over his dick :) I should seriously show him this article…

  25. My girlf riend gives me really REALLY great bj’s and i don’t even ask for them…i love her so much and its not for the bj’s, but she told me like about 3 days ago that when she was 12 some 17 year old guy made her suck his dick and she got all sad and said she felted raped…..i tried comferting her alot and doing everything i can and i’m willing to do anything…if you have any suggestions what i can do then please tell me it would be much appreciated (l) :o )

  26. ;) (w) (u) :p (y) (n) :d (*) :o ) 8) :( (f) (g) (t) :o (8) (l) (i) :x (~) (e) :$ (&) (c) ;( :s (d) (o) (@) (p) (^) (b) :[ (b) (^) (p) (@) (o) (d) :s ;( (c) (&) :$ (e) (~) :x (i) (l) (8) :o (t) (g) (f) :( 8) :o ) (*) :d (n) (y) :p (u) (w) ;)

  27. I really want to expierience a blowjob i dont have a girlfriend but its literaly the 3rd day of school so I figure i have time lol im 14 I know its a little young but i dont plan on having intercourse at this age

  28. I have my bf a bj d other day and he almost choked me wen he pushed his dick down my throat without telling me.. o.o im 13 by the way.. it was really gross, n he really needs to shave down there because the hair keeps bothering me wenever i perform oral sex on him..

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