Iranians vs. a Strip of Celluloid

Posted on March 15th, 2007 by Christine.
Categories: Current Events & Politics.

When I read on CNN.com today that newspapers in Iran screamed that “Hollywood has opened a new front in the war against Iran” by releasing the film ‘300,’ I almost snorted my diet Coke out of my nose. Wondering when Hollywood– the mecca of all that is faux glitter and glam– became the political seat of the nation, I decided it was important for me to read on. After all, I make a living working in the Hollywood entertainment industry and I need to know if it is now accepted for me to put a title like “Senator” or “Congresswoman” before my name…

The Iranians, who have apparently successfully dealt with all the problems in their country: egregious environmental disasters like the overconsumption of leaded fuel, deforestation, and air pollution; corruption issues like billions of dollars worth of smuggled drugs being routed through Payam Airport; the fact that the Iranian government has been linked to grotesque human rights violations in 21 separate categories of human rights… but apparently, those are all fixed, and now the Iranians need something new… something relevant… something essential to get up in arms about… how Persians were depicted in a negative light against the Spartans in ancient Greece.

“Iranians buzzed with resentment at the film’s depictions of Persians, adamant that the movie was secretly funded by the U.S. government to prepare Americans for going to war against Iran. “Otherwise why now, if not to turn their people against us?” demanded an elderly lady buying tuberoses. “Yes, truly it is a grave offense,” I said, shaking my own bunch of irises.”

Perhaps in Tehran, the scent of tuberoses and irises in the air also carries hints of paranoia.

Why now? Why release a film like ‘300′ now? they ask… I’m no genius, but perhaps because now is the time that Warner Brothers approved the final cut and the film was ready to be released.

The problem here, well, more like “there,” is that Iranians don’t understand that Americans don’t need movies to justify going to war. In the U.S., we go to war without justification at all sometimes. And sometimes we make movies purely for the sake of entertainment and because the studios want to make money. And under this notion of “free speech,” we sometimes make other people look, well… sort of unlikeable… for the sake of drama in those movies. And the fact that Iranians are upset about a movie released in the U.S. about two ancient countries that we have no affiliation with, when most Americans couldn’t even point out Iran on a map– let alone conceive of how Iran and Persia were ever connected, should say something. It should say that maybe… just maybe… we Americans are so self-absorbed and caught up in our own trivial lives, that being entertained on a Saturday night by half-naked actors pretending to be Spartan warriors in front of a blue screen, is maybe not about you, O people of Iran. Maybe you, Iran, in a desperate quest to feel meaningful on this planet, are assigning a meaning to something you shouldn’t.

And maybe, just maybe… it’s much easier to curse an American movie than it is to address some… should I say “prominent” issues in your own country. And so be it. You are certainly welcome to your opinion. But I will say this… if you truly believe that Hollywood could sway national opinion of the war on Iran with a movie about the Greeks and Persians, you are either giving Hollywood too much credit… or you don’t understand capitalism. Or maybe both.

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