So the other day, Christopher was over and we were watching t.v. and I playfully kicked him back to his side of the couch because he was doing what he usually does and taking his half out of the middle. He kicked back… we play fought for a second until I, in my best Jackie Gleason imitation, shook my fist at him and warned that I didn?t want to have to kick his ass… wink-wink. But then (and this is always what happens)… Christopher, even though we?re playing and having fun, decides to grab me by the wrists, flip me over, and pin my arm behind my back in some bizarre wrestling move that fucking hurts like a motherfucker. Here?s what always follows…Christine: Jesus Fuck, Christopher. Why do you have to be so rough? We were having fun.
Usually that?s followed by Christopher assuring me that he?s not rough, I?m just a pussy… an attribute, btw, I?ve never had a problem admitting to… yes, I am a girl? a girly one at that, one that bruises easily, doesn?t like being pinched, poked, pinned, or have the back of my ankle squeezed? call me a pussy if you must. Pussy, pussy, pussy… that?s me.
Picture this… Christopher and I play, I end up in some painful, contorted position because he has me pinned by my hair or has his knee in my kidney with Christopher saying, ?What?s it like to be such a weak little pussy… huh? I bet that sucks…?
He says it like it?s an insult… never considering that I (as a woman) don?t have the overwhelming natural desire to be ?feared.? Or be able to body-slam someone else into submission. Or be ashamed of any of it.
So the other day this happens… but instead of calling me a weakling or a pussy, he tells me it?s because I challenged his dominance.
HUH?
Christine: Challenged your dominance??!
Now, let me fill you in… Christopher is fairly cut, pretty strong and outweighs me by 30 pounds… in addition, he likes to be in control ALL THE TIME… which is fine by me… but it would never in a million years cross my mind that maybe I?m more ?dominant? than Christopher… I?d have to have a brain tumor to even consider that, and quite frankly, I?m perfectly content letting the Alpha Male be just that.
Christine: I would never challenge your dominance.
Christopher: You do all the time. Like 10 times a day.
Christine: Well let me assure you… I am fully aware that you?re the dominant one and now that you know that, you don?t have to beat me to a pulp or get so hardcore every time we play.
Christopher: You like to be reminded that I?m dominant… that?s why you challenge it.
At this point, I realize we?re on totally different pages here… actually, we?re not even reading the same book.
My thinking goes more like this… playing physical is kind of fun… something I never did growing up with my sister… and it?s kind of flirty and silly. I do it because I like to laugh and enjoy it, not because I want to be thrown to the ground and beaten like Rodney King. Now… at first I thought it was an insecurity thing with Christopher… that guys who are truly secure with their dominance, don?t need to prove it… to anyone. Guys who know that the girl they?re with wouldn?t possibly ever ?challenge? their dominance because it?s just too ludicrous to consider, are actually aware that they could hurt someone considerably smaller, female, and who wasn?t an all-state wrestler in high school. Those guys just play along and let the girl win… knowing that even if she wins, she?s going to know he let her win. Despite what Christopher thinks, we?re not stupid…
So I kept thinking Christopher must be insecure about his physicality… but then I realized that can?t be. Christopher?s not the biggest guy in the world, but he?d stand up to pretty much anyone despite how big and scary the guy is without ever considering he might actually get his ass kicked. He can?t be too insecure. So where?s the disconnect?
Other guys think: Haha… isn?t that cute? She wants to play fight… Okay, I?ll play along… let?s see what you?re made of, baby.
Christopher thinks: She must know by now that I could kick her ass… is she dense or what? Every time she does this, she ends up getting hurt… doesn?t she learn? I?ll show her again I guess…
I?m still trying to figure this out. I haven?t been able to understand why Christopher?s approach is so different than other guys and what the truth is to this whole male dominance thing… but if I don?t figure it out soon, I?m going to end up with broken fingers, chunks of missing hair, and another rug burn. 
Listen everybody. Once you have been stabbed by a woman it really encourages you make sure you to take control of every situation. It’s just a natural reaction really.. seriously tho if I don’t keep Christine in control she starts spazing like a retard and it becomes dangerous.. just ask her about the time she BOOTED me in the face full blast.. (because she thought I would move or she would miss).. also no matter what she say’s.. she loves the rough play… besides I think she encourages this behavoir… everytime there is rough wreastling it leads to sex.. that doesn’tn sound like negative reenforcement to me.. ?
Here we are… back to his stabbing fantasy…
I can explain kicking him in the face though… seriously, it was totally innocent…
He pinned me to the ground by stepping on my hair and was leaning over me, telling me what a pussy I am, and then I remembered something I saw on Alias… so I straightened my leg and kicked straight up in a cheerleader-over-the-head type kick and my foot hit him right in the nose. It never occurred to me that I could actually hurt someone by kicking them (I don’t think I’ve ever had to test that before)… but anyway… I guess it kind of did hurt him ‘cuz he was PISSED. LOL…
And don’t even believe that rough wrestling leading to sex part… it’s when (after he hurts me becaue he’s too rough) he says, “Come here, baby… I’m sorry…” and holds me and kisses whatever part on me he just broke… that’s what usually leads to sex.
Look, I know she has blocked this whole stabbing thing out but that doesn’t make it a fanasty.
As far as the kicking me in the face, if I really liked beating her up that would have been they day I really gave her a beat down.. I see the rough wreastling matches as energy control.. she usually quiet’s down and goes to sleep after wreastling for about 5 minutes so I can watch football in peace.
As far as the sex thing goes, she is on crack if a stranger walked up to her on the street and grabbed her by the hair she would be fucking him 15 minutes later.. it’s just one of her turn ons.
to each his/her own lol
…. i dont even know what to say :p
Yes, a lot of men are insecure and display it by playing physical dominance games, puff up with bravado and “macho” attitudes and generally take small things and blow them out of proportion.
Yes, a lot of women are also insecure and try to subvert the natural desire of the aforementioned men to be dominant by playing various passive-aggressive games to undermine the fragile security that most men have.
You’re both right and you’re both wrong.
One of these days, maybe you can both get past your neediness and communicate. (Of course, what fun would your blog be then?)
Ben, EXACTLY see when we actually talk we stop posting.. it just doesn’t work.
My christopher just hid behind his “This old house magazine” after telling me there are no winners/losers in our wrestling matches. When asked point blank if I ever held him down, he said he didn’t try very hard because he didn’t want to hurt me. Awwwwwwwwwww
My Christopher beat me last night for writing this post… not really… he threatened to though…
I like Fuzzit’s Christopher better.
i guess he’s not insecure about his physicality. maybe, he’s just crazy over constantly proving his dominance over you. men do that all the time. so, let them. we know better
i guess he?s not insecure about his physicality. maybe, he?s just crazy over constantly proving his ?dominance? over you. men do that all the time. so, let them. we know better
uhm, christopher… how is that my most recent comment to this post “is awaiting moderation”?
I wouldn’t mind letting him constantly prove his dominance (if that’s what he needs), but it’d be so much better if he could somehow prove it without leaving bruises and scabs from where he decided to hold me down and write on my leg with a pen pushing hard enough to break the skin.
lol! i feel ya, christine
ok.. I did do the pen thing.. but it only broke the skin becaus she was struggling and I slipped.
Riiiiiiiiight….
Christine, you need to know that if I was single, you’d be someone I’d love to get to know in much more detail.
(And since I’d doubt you’d be interested in a Biblical Triad, I’ll just smile and back away slowly… 
)
Hey now… not ALL males out here are typical, c’mon
I believe men of today can peacefully walk away from their need to be dominant during sensuality without being classified as “sissy” by their fellow peers – but ONLY if they are able to read and understand techniques I personally use as I discuss on my own blog.
So be mucho nice and try not to classify every last one of us as “too rough” or “dominant ego-bastage” hehe (I won’t spam you. There was a space provided to enter my blog website so if this blog owner chooses to make it available to you – then you are very lucky to have been allowed to visit it. If not, I still cannot tell you what it is in HERE because that would be spamming
Just want you to know that I’m one dood who has “seen the light” so-to-speak
Kindest Regards!!
Tech… you fall fully into the self promoting pussy catagory.. but it was a nice try.