Christine the Lioness (3122)
Christopher the Pyro (1985)
ProphetJoe the Irreverent (1234)
Trouble the Pirate (600)
Keith the Director (573)
Mara the Peacemaker (532)
eric the Lil' Devil (351)
AJ the Zen Master (305)
Ben the Kingpin (213)
Haas the Addict (187)
Christine 2 the Mercenary (131) Lei the Mercenary (124) Katie the Mercenary (115)
Ben2 the Soldier (56) Christine the Lioness pontificated
I’m glad Christopher FINALLY posted on how to communicate well with women (since he’s *so good* at it). Christopher is good at a lot of things… but communicating well is simply not one of them. So instead of focusing on the correct word to use, I’ve made my own little list of things that men should not say to women at all… EVER. It’s your call… but I highly suggest you take my advice over Christopher’s, guys… life will be much easier. Christopher likes to do things the hard way no doubt…
1. Avoid using adjectives like “insane,” “crazy,” and “psychotic” to describe the woman you’re talking to. Don’t find alternatives… just avoid them altogether. She already knows she’s being “emotional” and chances are pretty high that if you’re standing there to witness it, you’re probably the reason she’s acting that way. Of course, if you see a woman you don’t know being “emotional” in say a restaurant, or gas station, then you are allowed to describe *that* woman as crazy. The best way to phrase it to the woman you’re with is… “I’m glad you’re not crazy like that.” 
2. Here’s a little tip… if you’re going to tell your girlfriend that your ex-wife was “porn star hot,” (which is a ridiculously bad idea to begin with and any guy who makes this decision truly gets whatever is coming to him), you should, at some point, use the same phrase to describe your current girlfriend. Trying to tell her later that “beautiful” is better than “porn star hot” in your eyes won’t work. Even if you truly believe your current is more attractive than your ex… it doesn’t matter. I would pretty much suggest you avoid talking about how hot your ex was to begin with. Especially if you don’t want the current girlfriend to start telling all her friends about how you have “issues.” [-x
3. If you don’t describe your ex as “porn star hot” and your current girlfriend as something less enticing, you won’t have to worry about the jealousy thing. So two birds with one stone.
4. Nasty vs. Kinky… If you really feel compelled to tell your guy friends the specifics of the sex you’re having with your wife or girlfriend (ie– you’re still mentally and emotionally in the 7th grade), use any word you want. Be assured however, that if a woman uses the word “nasty” to describe you… it’s not a compliment and unless you’re hoping for another restraining order, you should probably not talk to her again. 
5. Telling your wife/girlfriend her ideas are stupid… hrmmm… I can’t imagine why that would be considered insensitive, judgmental, or rude… Chances are her ideas probably aren’t stupid… you’re probably just too much of a simpleton to understand the complexities of her thoughts.
The second part of my comment was going to be a list of the things that women should never say to men because they’ll be misconstrued… but the truth is… men don’t listen anyway, so you can pretty much say anything you want.
Christopher the Pyro thought this
How cool is the graphic I used for this post… I made it with flicker spell.. (type flicker spell into google.. you’ll find it..).. did you say something Christine.. ?
Christine the Lioness hunt n' pecked this
8-|
aJ the Zen Master chimed in with
Thanks for the tips and words to communicate with women. Both Chris and Chris
And Christopher,
hey if he already thinks I?m a cerial killer
Don’t you mean cereal killer 
You should spell check your posts man
aJ the Zen Master remarked
The second part of my comment was going to be a list of the things that women should never say to men because they?ll be misconstrued? but the truth is? men don?t listen anyway, so you can pretty much say anything you want.
Or maybe we don’t listen cos we don’t expect anything good to come from Women? / 
eric the Lil' Devil remarked
ok, by now you all know i’m a complete and utter asshole, so these comments won’t surprise most of you. men, the only time to actually give a fuck about these so called feeling words are if there are still steps and accomplishments left to gain in a relationship, ie. if you actually have respect for that woman, now that being said, if you are attempting to score some ass, use a few of the wrong words but always in a joking manor… this allows the ever hopeful woman to believe that she can help you to evolve into a caring boyfriend, and lastly if this is in reference to some pig that you use as a cum dumpster on weeknights after dark away from your friends,let her have it full force ,but; follow with a half assed compliment so you can get off next week if a drought hits. i.e.”you know if you weren’t so good at riding me i’d put your crazy ass in a box and fed ex you to the sex pedlers in taiwan!”;)
Christopher the Pyro penned this
omg. 
Right on man.
Christine the Lioness scribbled
Uh-oh aJ… don’t get pulled to the dark side by the evil forces…
Christine the Lioness added
Eric… any girl that truly believes she can help *you* evolve into a caring boyfriend… may be suffering from serious psychological delusions… I suggest you check her wrists for funny farm bracelets… there might be a reward for bringing her back.
eric the Lil' Devil got all philosophical
hey, i’m done with the whole dog the bounty hunter shit! hell the last reward i got for returning a crazy psycho was two dead bluejays from this guy she does a blog with
Keith the Director said this
See i inturn have an extensive vocabulary which christine and other women know if they have read my posts :\”> Truth be told though I have in fact come to learn that women have their own misconceptions of the english language! B/c they twist words around how they see fit so it always makes the guy look like the asshole, the woman always right, and the truth stuck in limbo never to be found!
Keith the Director added
Chris very nice flicker spell graphic good work!
Ben the Kingpin added
So, does all this mean that you two are sharing a bedroom again?
Christine the Lioness pontificated
Oh Ben… you know better than to ask that question. As a matter of fact, the last time I asked that question (tonight actually), it got me punched in the jaw… I’m not fabricating in the slightest!
Actually, we don’t need to share a bedroom for Christopher to call me names… (I realize you’ve been on a short sabatical from us, so you may have forgotten). And the “nasty” vs. “kinky” part has to do with Christopher’s response to Keith’s comment on the post where I put up my pix.
Christopher the Pyro thought this
It was an accident.. but I did punch her in the jaw.. what can I say.. she looked like she was reaching for the knife and I overreacted…. and Ben.. you know better then to ask that question!
aJ the Zen Master quibbed this
Ugh Christopher, punching just because you thought she was reaching for a knife is not nice.. Infact, punching a girl is never nice :-w
Haas the Addict said this
Lets see chivalry versus getting stabbed… Im happy i was not in that situation
Keith the Director scribbled
Nah Aj, I agree hitting women is not nice, but in chris’s case dealing with christine, being stabbed, burned, and poisoned! He was in his right mind to punch her if he felt threatened again!
Christine the Lioness said this
Translation… Christopher still needs a little work on his communication skills.
And the truth is… I wasn’t reaching for a knife at all. We were in the kitchen though… He had just put his plate and fork in the sink (because I told him its rude not to clean up after himself after I’ve cooked dinner for him) and he tossed the fork into the garbage disposal side of the sink and it slid almost all the way down into the disposal.
Christine: Uh-oh… no… don’t put it on that side…
Christopher: What? You think you can tell me what to do now?
Christine: Listen… if that thing slides in there and I didn’t see it… I’d turn the garbage disposal on and it would ruin–
Christopher: Are you the boss now or something? I’m the boss…
Christine: Well then, boss… how about you put dirty dishes on this side from now on?
And then he put up his fists and said “I’ll show you who’s boss…” and play-punched me in the stomach. “Christopher…” I said, forseeing that this game would ultimately result in me getting hurt or something I own getting broken… “What?” he says innocently and then full on Rocky Balboa punches me in the jaw. My head turns in like Apollo Creed’s did the moment before that big Russian dude killed him. My hand flies up to my chin. Of course, Christopher hasn’t noticed any of that yet…
“Ow, shit!” he said and shook his hand. “I really hit you!”
“Okay… time for you to leave now,” I said.
“Come on… it only hurt because your mouth was open and your teeth banged together.” Like I’m somehow unaware of what just happened.
“It hurt because you hit me!”
“Well… if it’s any consolation, it hurt my hand too.”
“It’s not.” I say thinking there must be an apology coming at some point.
“Should I kiss it and make it better?” He said with a smile as his hand slowly reached for my right boob. ???
I grab his hand to prevent the imminent molestation. “Don’t think that will help,” I say.
“Okay. I’m sorry,” he says finally realizing I’m serious when I don’t allow him to feel me up. “I didn’t mean to hit you.”
I sigh (we’ve had about a million conversations about how Christopher plays too rough with me and I figure a million and one won’t make a difference) So like a sucker, I smile (it’s very difficult to remain upset at Christopher when he gives me a certain look– and he says I’m manipulative with my crazy eyes???). I’ve come to think that the kitchen is just the wrong room of the house for Christopher and I to converge in… someone always ends up getting hurt. It’s just better him than me.
Keith the Director asserted
Thats not how chris just described that to me on the phone at all… [-( I see a farce here!
Ben the Kingpin uttered
You know, I was ruminating on something slightly related and realized that men have this need to feel that women want sex in a violent manner.
I just can’t quite get my mind around that. The last thing I want to think about during the deed is anything remotely violent.
But, then, I’m pretty atypical.
For me it’s all about the intellectual stimulation and emotional connection.
Keith the Director scribbled
Wow..Ben that seemed like soemthing right out of a cheese roamnce novel or something off the we channel that llwomen look for! That line shoul dget you laid often does it? I might have to try it st. pattys day for starters!
Christopher the Pyro asserted
Keith.
Do not try that line.
That is a horrible fucking idea.
Ben… I want to reach thru the screen and slap some balls into you.
Keith the Director spake, and sayeth
Don’t worry chris…I was being sarcastic..If I used that line I cut my own balls off and sk for a real set 
I do fine laying out what I’ve been saying
Trouble the Pirate asserted
Hey… That Flicker spell makes writing the ransom notes a whole lot easier Chris, thanks…
Trouble the Pirate remarked
… I’m still having trouble grasping the concept of WHY we should attempt to ‘communicate’ with women? Isn’t that why they usually have a bunch of other female-friends?
I prefer the KISS method of ‘relationship communication:’
1. If she opens her mouth to make sounds and you are NOT having kinky sex at the time… just get up, leave the house, find your friends, go to a titty-bar, and forget the whole episode almost happened. If you’re lucky, she will pack-up her crap, leave, and you will never see her again… If you’re not, she will still be there when you return days later.
2. If you ARE having kinky sex, just ignore rule #1 and carry-on…
3. This method of course, requires you to develop a keen alertness to what is going on around you, nearest exits, change of clothes in the car, lack of materialistic values, friends, etc… But is a hell of a lot easier than the alternative…
Christine the Lioness mentioned
Sounds great, Trouble… I’m still waiting for what the acronym KISS stands for… or are you just a fan of arbitrary names for these very well thought out methods…?
aJ the Zen Master stated
Christine,
KISS = Keep It Simple Stupid
Christopher the Pyro remarked
LOL LOVE IT!!
Christine the Lioness pontificated
Three steps and two different scenarios is hardly keeping it simple… If you’re really looking for the “KISS” way to communicate with a woman, here it is:
No matter what she says, say, “Great idea, babe. I’ll get on that right away.”
Now that’s simple and perfect at the same time.
aJ the Zen Master uttered
Uhm.. Yeah right Christine.. What you are asking for is a “Yes Man”
Christine the Lioness commented
Good point, aJ. There is no bigger turn off than the “Yes Man” or “Yes Ma’am.” It’s pretty much impossible for women to respect a guy like that…
I sometimes see these women out at stores or whatever just going off and bitching and yelling at their guys and the guy doesn’t say anything. He just puts up with it. And when I see that, I truly feel sorry for both of them because she’s obviously in a relationship with someone she doesn’t respect (believe it or not, women don’t even like acting that way themselves– they want to be with a guy that won’t let them walk on them) and I feel sorry for him too because he’s going to deal with a lot more of that for the rest of his life. But at the same time… they were both at fault for creating that situation.
IMHO… the most important thing necessary to keep a relationship going *for a woman* is respect for her guy. Respect is tied to being attracted to someone, trusting him, and being willing to make the compromises need to put the good of the couple above the good of the individual. Once respect is gone, I think it’s very hard to get back… if ever.
aJ the Zen Master spake, and sayeth
True.. But then that should go both ways. Everything in a serious and long lasting relationship, love, trust, admiration etc should be both ways.
Christine the Lioness got all philosophical
I agree.
Laura the Groupie uttered
I think what needs to be said here: Porno star hot and beutifull are not the same thing. Being beutifull is more moddest. Think about it, beutifull is how you describe your mother when she asks how she looks before a night on the town. Can you imagine her expression if you replyed with “Yeah, Mother. You look porno star hot…Did I say that aloud?!” And it’s like the guy that dated his mother online for six months all over again…
http://entertainment.tv.yahoo.com/news/wwn/20051209/113414040002.html
Lei the Mercenary asserted
OMG, that was awful but hilarious! imagine, online-dating your mother for 6 months! that’s close to incest, u know, even in the nameless, faceless culture that it is the worldwide web.
Keith the Director quibbed this
Wow I must have missed the guy dating his mother online for 6 months, or maybe the very thought was so disgusting I repressed it very well!
Lei the Mercenary chimed in with
yeah, disgusting really…:-&
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