Observations about the World

Posted on February 3rd, 2006 by Christopher.
Categories: Hilarious.

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
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OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
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SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn’t need.
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GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
_____________________________

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
______________________________

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
______________________________

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.
_____________________________

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

10 comments.

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Christine the Lioness spake, and sayeth

So are there still people out there who challenge my theory that Christopher absolutely hates the female gender? I don’t know what happened to damage this boy so bad… but whatever it was, she should be shot. -)

February 4th, 2006

Christopher the Pyro got all philosophical

women are just sooo difficult lol..

February 4th, 2006

Christine the Lioness commented

Only for men who still wish women were exactly like them. Men who accept that women are different, and respect those differences, don’t really find women “difficult” at all.

February 4th, 2006

Rob the Soldier quibbed this

I like that I can talk about shoes with my female friends. All Chris ever wants to talk about is football and ribs.;)

February 4th, 2006

Christine 2 the Mercenary hunt n' pecked this

What kind of shoes do you like, Rob?;)

February 4th, 2006

Christopher the Pyro asserted

That’s not true… I talk to rob about a marathon.. and we’ll also talk soccer.. and even drama class for a few seconds..

February 5th, 2006

Haas the Addict got all philosophical

LOL =)), Nice Post…
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
Laughing so hard it hurts )
Cant say I disagree with you here Chris )

February 5th, 2006

Dan the Virgin got all philosophical

HAha! Yes… women are the devil… got it.
http://www.allposters.com/gallery.asp?apnum=334137
It was good to see you guys last weekend! Peace.

February 7th, 2006

aJ the Zen Master spake, and sayeth

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
So Very true! D

February 15th, 2006

Christine the Lioness pontificated

I’m glad you realize this, aJ… it’s so much better when you just accept that resistance is futile. -)

February 16th, 2006

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