Originally posted on April 3rd, 2005


I’m really sick of these carb counting pussies. All I hear out of everybody who is a fat ass or overweight is oh I can’t eat this and I can’t eat that. As Dr. Denis Leary once said “Shut the fuck up”. You need carbs, if you don’t eat carbs your liver will rot and your brain cells will most likely dry up and die. So you will be nice and thin but you will start turning yellow and be as stupid as a rock. Why don’t you fat fucks just try eating a little less instead of trying to subtract fiber grams from the fat grams and the carb grams to determine what the carb ratio is in your food. Seriously doesn’t anybody else realize how fucking asnine that is? How about we all stop looking to some fat fucking dead [...]

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Missing in Action

Posted on March 4th, 2008 by Christine.
Categories: True Story.

If you’re wondering why you haven’t heard from us, it’s because I was in Seattle this past weekend — my sister and I took my mom up there for her birthday. Christopher, while I was gone, had to have his appendix out in an emergency surgery, and he’s recuperating.

But that’s not the only reason we’ve been MIA. Since our big fight last week, Christopher and I aren’t really sure where things stand with “us,” and we may not be the “Chris and Chris” team much longer. We have a lot to think about on our own, and some things to talk about I suppose. I don’t really know.

What I do know is that I don’t think …

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7 comments.

Answering The Knock of God

Posted on February 26th, 2008 by Christopher.
Categories: Hilarious.

*Knock* *Knock* *Knock*

“Sigh” Mumbling to myself I think… “Who in the world is knocking at my door at 6pm… Christine? Nah… she doesn’t just show up… must be the neighbor.”

I’m not really one for checking the peep hole so I throw open the door and instantly realize my mistake as a man dressed in a shirt and tie and a woman dressed in a dress are standing there. Ughh.. Mormons.

Don’t get me wrong.. I really don’t any have anything against Mormons.. at least not anything I don’t have against every other group of religions people who think it is ok to show up at my house to convert me.

Anyway as I they …

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40 comments.

Here Comes Oscar!

Posted on February 22nd, 2008 by Christine.
Categories: Current Events & Politics.

As I explained to Christopher yesterday, the Academy Awards is to me as the World Cup is to him. I was trying to convey how much I like watching the Oscars and his response was… “But the World Cup happens every four years and the Oscars happen every year. You should liken it more to the Superbowl.”

Okay… whatever gets the point across, right?

I love the dresses, the red carpet, the interviews, the stars being themselves. I love seeing the movies that get nominated even though the Academy is hardly exempt from choosing the winners on a political basis rather than the merits of the film alone. But I love to see the craft of …

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27 comments.

Mr. Jackson - My Favorite President

Posted on February 15th, 2008 by Christopher.
Categories: Current Events & Politics.

Now that election season is heating up, I thought I would chime in on what I look for in a president.

Basically all candidates are compared to Andrew Jackson…. if they can’t hold a stick to President Jackson, they won’t get my vote.

When the 1828 election rolled around, a lot of people were terrified when they heard Andrew “Old Hickory” Jackson was running. If you’re wondering how a guy I’m calling a bad ass got such a lame nickname, it’s because he used to carry a hickory cane around and beat people senseless with it, and if you’re wondering why he did that, it’s because he was a fucking lunatic.

Former Democratic Senator and Secretary of the Treasurey Albert Gallatin …

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19 comments.

Your Valentine’s Day Sex Playlist

Posted on February 12th, 2008 by Christine.
Categories: Sex and Relationships.

In preparation for Valentine’s Day, I’ve put together a playlist for all the guys who want their girlfriends/wives to think they are romantic when they actually aren’t:

Add this to you Songza!

1. Just Another by Pete Yorn

2. Glory Box by Portishead

3. Undress Me Now by Morcheeba

4. Beautiful by James Blunt

5. Your Body is Wonderland by John Mayer

6. Calling You by Blue October

7. You and Me by Lifehouse

8. By My Side by INXS

9. Sistinas by Danzig

10. Everything I Do by Bryan Adams

11. So Alive by Love and Rockets

12. Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls

13. One Headlight by the Wallflowers

14. Ever the Same by Rob Thomas

15. Sweet Child O’ Mine by Guns ‘N Roses

16. Always on My Mind by Elvis Presley

17. Killing Me …

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