Christine the Lioness (3122)
Christopher the Pyro (1986)
ProphetJoe the Irreverent (1253)
Trouble the Pirate (601)
Keith the Director (573)
Mara the Peacemaker (533)
eric the Lil' Devil (351)
AJ the Zen Master (305)
Ben the Kingpin (213)
Haas the Addict (187)
Christine 2 the Mercenary (131) Lei the Mercenary (124) Katie the Mercenary (115)
John1040 the Soldier (59) Christopher the Pyro thought this
OMG. Can’t believe she actally posted it.. but I’m glad she did.. this is like an ESPN Instant Classic.
Crystal the Soldier stated
This is so why I make the drive to the big sex store about 30 minutes from here. That and the fact that a church has put a billboard in front of their store, which is right off I-70, that says “Jesus Heals and Restores… PORNOGRAPHY DESTROYS!!!” I love that sign, and vow to get a picture of it before I leave this stupid state. Anyway, Christine, here is one to make you feel a bit better. I took a girlfriend to this store, leaving our husbands at home, so we could get some toys. She’d never been in an adult store before, and this place is huge. One of the things I pick up is a cock ring, which had already been discussed with my husband. They came in 3 sizes, I picked the middle one, because I know what his “size” is. Well, I convince her to get one as well, and she gets the same size. The next day she calls me upset, her husband FREAKED OUT over this cock ring. I’m like ok, WHY?? What’s the big deal, y’all get freaky from time to time… come to find out it was too big, and he was upset about that. OOPS!!!! She swore me to secrecy, but I couldn’t help but tell my husband, who worked with hers at the time. 
)
Haas the Addict commented
OMG I can swear thats one experience you wont forget 
.
So what did you think when you opened the package… Let me guess “Im screwed… and not the way I wanted” =))
aJ the Zen Master got all philosophical
Well atleast the customer rep was a female. Methinks it would have been so much more embarrassing to say all that to a guy and have him repeat every item 
@Crystal: OMG, that would be so freaking funny I mean, you got free bagging rights 
Keith the Director hunt n' pecked this
Crystal that is a novel idea, but to make it one better you need to take a picture of YOURSELF hold a package you bought from the store in front of the sign.
Church sign in front of a Porn Shop to deter consumers… $100 plus $50/Month
Drive to Porn Shop… 30 mins and $7 in gas
Pair of anal beads and butt plug… $25
Picture of you holding the anal beads and butt plug in front of the church sign….PRICELESS
Christopher the Pyro said this
Crystal,
It looks like that vail of secrecy runs really deep with you.
Christine the Lioness got all philosophical
Women know they can’t trust other women with secrets– they always tell their men when it comes to something like that. That girl should have known better.
And here I thought it would be more discrete to order online than walk into a store in person. Last time I was in the sex shop near where I live, buying Christopher a Christmas gift , I was the *only girl* shopping and there were four guys shopping plus two male clerks, and they all followed me around staring at me as I picked things up to look at. Everytime I turned around, they would all quickly go back to pretending they were looking at something else. It was hilarious and flattering and a bit creepy all at once. hehe. But we don’t have a big huge store like Crystal does… it’s more of a boutique.
And congrats, Crystal, on landing a medium.
BTW aJ… how are you doing with helping Haas with his pun problem?
Trouble the Pirate added
Jezebel…
Christine the Lioness got all philosophical
Funny how you guys seem to be identifying with the mini-cocked guy instead of Crystal’s husband… 
Come on… if your wife told you something about her friend’s husband’s dick, you’d probably think it was funny… I doubt you’d get all offended. After all, if you can keep your trap shut, he’ll never know you know. And I’d venture to say (because I know for a fact) guys share that kind of personal shit about sex with their girlfriends and wives with their friends just as much as women do… so maybe you ought to send that high horse back to the stable.
aJ the Zen Master remarked
Well Christine, as you can tell, so far I’ve been a miserable failure
Though I can take solace that he has been away for 10 good days for a vacation so I could not really help him with his “problem”
aJ the Zen Master spake, and sayeth
I kinda agree with Christine in #9. Guys are the biggest boasters, almost equal to women in not being able to keep stuff to themselves. But then, that happens only when they are in a position to boast
Christopher the Pyro mentioned
Whatever I never brag about the few hundred women I’ve slept with.
Christine the Lioness chimed in with
LOL! This is a perfect example… if they don’t have anything real to brag about… they’ll just make it up. Women on the other hand… tell the truth to their girlfriends. Whether their guy looks bad or good after the story is told doesn’t matter.
Keith the Director added
Let me also add christine thanx for taking the initiative and puttign some quality pics up on before chris did. Good Job! Also I’m not sure what the sizes are for cock rings as i have never been inclined to try one on, but I’m sure this guy was so pissed off his buddy had a bigger dick than him. It’s not like it matters anyway in the “long” and “short” of it Soooorrryyy I couln’t resist! Hey the way I look at congrats to the guy with the midsize penis and sorry bout your luck pee-wee to the guy that didn’t. There are methods out there to help improve on that if you feel the need. Otherwaise learn new techniques to get the job done!
As well i too have no reason to brag and boast about my new and excting conquest of some girl. I mean all my friends have ahad sex at one point or get sex regularly wether it be from their significant other or some strange at the club when she is out of town! It doesn’t matter we have all seen each other at work at one capacity or another so there is no reason to brag. You may get the follow up question the next day like hey man did you hit it? To which the answer would be a yes! Or perhaps a no but it’s normally yes Either way thats where it lays and dies. Just a simple query answered and unless details are given we don’t ask or give unless felt the need!
eric the Lil' Devil got all philosophical
normally guy’s don’t ask for details unless the chick is really hot, or really ugly. the average ones are settled with a ” did you hit that?”;)
Keith the Director up'n wrote this
thank you for the back up on that eric…. see my bro knows whats up! Like i said before details are not shared by men unless the chick is a “DIME” piece really. Not too many of us want to hear of the chick you went hogging with, and jane doe is a dime a dozen. Jane Doe/Club Bunny/Bar Fly is kind of like a been there done that so there is nothing to share of interest.
Christine the Lioness scribbled
Well… maybe I stand corrected then. We certainly know everything about how good– or how bad– our girlfriends’ guys are in bed… down to every detail of what they do right or wrong and how big they are. Although, from listening to you guys talk, it doesn’t appear that my girlfriends cheat and fuck around with as many people as your friends do. I’ve had only a few girlfriends who have cheated on their husbands or boyfriends and I can tell you for sure that they complained for several months prior about their men neglecting them before they went out and had an affair. I don’t think women are as enticed by “new dick” the way men are with “new pussy.” The women I know are generally faithful unless their guys aren’t getting the job done emotionally and physically. Personally, I’m not an advocate of cheating– it’s been my experience that if you tell a guy straight up what he needs to do to get you off, he’s usually willing to do it and there’s no real reason to ever cheat.
Christopher the Pyro said this
Now if only women listened half as well as men do all would be right and good in the world. =))
Keith the Director got all philosophical
Oh how very true Chris!
Christine the Lioness commented
Don’t play like if the woman listened to what you wanted more there’d be no reason to cheat. The woman could be a complete nympho, but she’ll never be “new pussy.” And a lot of guys will cheat and essentially throw away a relationship just to satisfy that desire for a new sexual encounter. Most women won’t. Plain and simple. Women spend their lives looking for great relationships and men spend their’s looking for great sex. It’s just how we were hard-wired.
But with that said, I think it’s pretty simple. Do whatever you want as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else. If you know yourself well enough to know you want to bang new girls (or guys) all the time, then go for it. But don’t “pretend” to be in a relationship, and let your partner think you’re faithful when you’re not. If you want a relationship, make that decision after you’ve decided you’ve had enough of the new pussy (or dick) and are ready to settle down and actually fulfill your role of being in a relationship if that security and monogamy is what you want. Either way… neither one is wrong as long as you’re honest with yourself and everyone else.
Keith the Director stated
Spoken from a true female perspective Christine, however you leave out that fact that women are in turn just as bad as men, or men wouldn’t have the success that we do when we go out. I mean if all women want is a relationship I can show you hundreds if not thousands going about it all the wrong way hun. Now I’m not saying all woman are like this, but you in turn have to admit that not all men are pigs as well. There are some genuine guys out there. Tit for tat Christine time to ante up and see what your made of?
Christine the Lioness stated
Careful there, Keith. I didn’t say that all women want relationships. And I can only speak from personal experience and the experience of my close girlfriends who would actually share the truth with me about what they do. The women I know want relationships– healthy ones, monogamous ones, ie– marriage ultimately. A lot of them get disillusioned after being cheated on by their boyfriends, or the relationship doesn’t work out, and they get sick of waiting. For a lot of them, if they’re not in a relationship, they’re willing to fuck around with random guys just for the sake of getting sex, knowing they won’t ever want a relationship with that guy and it’s just sex. The problem that happens often is… after they do that for a while, they start to get attached to the guy because the sex is good, the oxytocin messes with their ability to reason, and suddenly they want a relationship with a guy that they never would have considered relationship material two months earlier. It’s not because they suddenly realized this guy would make a great husband… it’s because what they wanted all along was a relationship and they’ve “created” something that they will find fulfilling because straight sex doesn’t fulfill them the way a relationship would… so they manufacture what they were looking for to begin with, even though it’s not there.
No, not all men are pigs. I have male friends who I know have been and are faithful to their girlfriends or wives. But I also know a lot of men who love their girlfriends/wives but still think it’s okay to cheat on them because they have no emotional attachment to the woman they’re cheating with– it’s just sex. Since “most” women really want the relationship over sex, they don’t go looking for sex outside of a relationship because it’s the less fulfilling of the two. When the relationship isn’t going well, and they feel neglected, they start to look for someone (even through simply sex) who will make them feel wanted and attractive and good in bed because their boyfriends/husbands aren’t making them feel that way. At least that has been what I have gathered from the women and men I know.
Personally, I have a very big problem with cheating. Having been cheated on, I know what it’s like to be on that end of it, and I would never want to do that to a guy I cared about. And if I didn’t care about him, I wouldn’t be in a relationship with him. I dont’ find it difficult personally not to cheat. When I’m into a guy, I’m really into him, and think about him a lot and don’t want to be with anyone else. I went through my wild phase in my early 20s where I slept with a lot of hot guys and partied it up a little too hard… but I’ve found that even the best sex comes from being with someone who knows exactly what you like and don’t like, and is invested enough in making you happy that he’ll really put effort into being good in bed for you. And I am much more relaxed and willing to try new stuff for a guy that I know I don’t have to use a condom with (because we’re monogamous and there’s no threat of disease), and that I really care about pleasing. So that’s me personally. When I’m not in a relationship, I do sleep with guys I find attractive, but I tend to keep it to a one night or very brief affair so that I don’t risk getting attached. At the end of the day, being in a monogamous, healthy, relationship with an awesome guy (like Christopher ) is what makes me happy. >-
Crystal the Soldier uttered
Whoa, my little story sent this comment thread WAY off on a tangent! I should note a couple things. We’re not friends with these people anymore, and they divorced a couple months later, because he was cheating. My husband never did tell the guy he knew about the whole fiasco. Christine is right, women share pretty much all the details, especially if it’s bad. I mean we might as well warn our girls if the dude is horrible in bed, it’s our duty!!
Keith, I asked one of the employees if that billboard bothered them, and they said nope, they don’t even fight it. It actually brings them more business than not, and all of their customers get a kick out of it. It’s up so high that I couldn’t get a picture in front of it unless I climbed it, and I’m not all THAT adventurous, but getting a picture of tthe billboard and the store will be priceless enough.
Crystal the Soldier remarked
Oh, and if this guy was “ashamed” of his size, perhaps it was unwise to take video of him and 2 other guys (one of which is apparently hung like a horse) running a train on some whore, and show it to the WHOLE BATTALION. I’m talking almost everyone had seen it, officers, high ranking NCOs, these guys (all lower enlisted soldiers) showed it off like it was the Nobel Prize. (Yes, my husband saw it, and said the chick was gross, the guys are nasty, and since none of them used condoms they will probably all have some horrid disease) So, he must not be too ashamed, because every guy he works with now knows what he’s “lacking”. *sigh* MEN!
Christine the Lioness penned this
It sounds a little like this dude was small, and probably insecure about that, which is why he flipped out on his wife for getting the wrong size cock ring (most guys who are secure would be like “babe… let me return this one and get one that fits better”) and also need to make a homemade porn to try to convince everyone else what a stud he was. Since guys don’t really pay that much attention over the dick size of other guys (not in the way women are disappointed by a small dick), he could get his sense of sexual prowess from the men. So good thing they got a divorce. Sounds like she’d be better off with a guy who doesn’t need to show tape of himself gang-banging a nasty slut… and she’ll have the opportunity to find one who wears something more than a size small.
Christopher the Pyro mentioned
Little sensitive there Ron…
eric the Lil' Devil stated
him just a widdle guy:”>
aJ the Zen Master quibbed this
Ron, are you trying to make up something with that link?
Christopher, you might want to edit it out. Why allow him to use the blog to massage his ego by linking to that site eh
Christopher the Pyro said this
aJ, ya you wre right creative use of trackback spam.. which also happens to be the same shit all this ringtone stuff is.. ughh.. *sigh* thought i had defeated the spam. 
Christine the Lioness spake, and sayeth
The war on terror and the war on spam… we have just defined the 21st century.
Christopher the Pyro got all philosophical
But like the U.S we are making progress and I while some spamist are more of a pain in the butt.. none can withstand the full fury of my coding skills for long.
Warren Beadie the Virgin up'n wrote this
My gf has those exact same beads, only in pink. They’re crap. Well, unless you mod them and cut off everything but the biggest four. Then they’re nice.
..just to comment on something entirely different than anyone else did..
Christine the Lioness spake, and sayeth
War on Beadie… that’s great.
Christopher the Pyro spake, and sayeth
You are fucking.. RETARD.
Christine the Lioness added
You’re just pissed because you didn’t catch Warren’s cute little play on words first.
Christopher the Pyro got all philosophical
I was talking to Beadie silly.
Ben the Kingpin stated
Just FYI: My office now blocks your blog and considers it “adult content”.
(In case you were wondering why I haven’t been visiting very often…)
Christine the Lioness uttered
Hrmmm… interesting… my old job did the same thing before we did the upgrade… Websense blocked it. I guess that means you’ll just have to spend more of your free time with us, Ben. Glad to see you’re back though.
improve your sex life the Virgin spake, and sayeth
Would you like to improve your sex life?
Learn bold, new information that few men ever discover.
home made sex toys the Virgin mentioned
Yet another great post, I always enjoy good information!
Christine the Lioness scribbled
With a name like “home made sex toys…” we’re happy to have your input!
>-
you sound like i could input my own sextoy, its made of real flesh, mine.
Christine the Lioness uttered
Then I think you heard wrong, Anonymous… you need to keep your flesh toy in your pants and play with it alone when you get home from school. Sorry! LOL
Mike Stranger the Virgin got all philosophical
God site. Thanks!
Christine the Lioness stated
Good probably… great maybe… but comparing us to God… now come on… Thanks for the compliment, Mike.
sex toys in my pussy the Virgin quibbed this
I LOVE TO FUCK SOMEONE PLEASE FUCK ME WITH A SEX TOY!!!!!!!!!!!! 
sex toys in my pussy the Virgin stated
IM NOT A FUCKING VIRGIN 
Christine the Lioness said this
I’m not sure “STIMP” actually fully understands how the rank plug in works. But he obviously gets the concept behind emoticons. LOL.
ProphetJoe the Irreverent penned this
Hmm, you believe STIMP is a male? I assumed the user name with “in my pussy” would be a clue that it’s a female… but I may be wrong — there’s always a first time
Christine the Lioness added
Only men would identify themselves with “Sex Toys in My Pussy,” so I made the leap… but then again, women seem to be much more partial to emoticon use… well… that’s not really true either, is it PJ?
ProphetJoe the Irreverent stated
Emoticons are merely my feminine side showing through — perhaps STIMP is simply her masculine side showing through
Christine the Lioness got all philosophical
Definitely a possibility.
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