Being sexy is different than being sleazy. I see a lot of young girls confusing the two: looking/acting sleazy and thinking they’re being sexy. These young ladies seem to think (at least I did) that when lots of guys whistle at them, or try to hang all over them, they must look sexy. There are a lot of young girls wearing super tight shirts and super short skirts and looking like prostitutes (whether they have the right body for those types of clothes or not), all the while thinking they look sexy. That’s not sexy, that’s sleazy. If random guys are giving you that kind of attention– whistles, lewd remarks, etc.– it’s because they think you’re easy to sleep with. Sexy is a something else. I made many of the same mistakes as a teen, but in the 33 years I’ve now been on the planet, I’ve learned a thing or two. So here are six tips to young women on how to be sexy:
1. Treat your body well.
A girl is sexy — and I think most men will agree with me– when she takes care of her body and is fit (takes pride in how her hair, skin, and nails look, works out, and eats right so she has a lean figure). A sexy body (ie– a gym body) looks sexy in every kind of clothes it wears– from your boyfriends oversized t-shirt, to a cute little dress and heels. A sexy body doesn’t need a certain type of sexy clothes to make it look sexy. It’ll look great in those tiny little crop tops and low-rider jeans, but it’ll also look great in everything else. Get the body, before you buy the clothes.
2. Guys are attracted to confidence like magnets attract metal.
I hate to say it, but it’s in our nature (both men and women) to disrespect people who don’t respect themselves. It’s been my experience that when I’m with a guy who allows me to walk all over him, I will. Even if I don’t want to, it happens anyway. I realized pretty quickly that I needed a guy with enough confidence to stand up to me when I’m being a bitch and not cater to my every whim. Guys are the same way. A lot of young girls try so hard to please guys, the guys don’t respect them. If you want guys to find you sexy, be confident. Be confident in your appearance, in your actions, in your decisions. Make decisions and stick to them regardless of who tries to talk you out of them. Confident women are the ones who don’t get whistled at because guys sense they won’t get her approval if they do that. Confident women are the ones that guys want to spend time with rather than just spend time in bed with.
3. Your pussy is not a negotiation tool.
Be in control of your sexuality. Don’t use sex as a way to get something from a guy. It’s not a tool to be used to reward him for something, to manipulate him into something, to make him jealous that you’re giving it to some other guy, or any other of the myriad of reasons women have sex other than they want to have sex. Using your sexuality to gain something (other than the pleasure of the experience) isn’t sexy. You’ll just feel cheap and slutty for doing it afterward, and guys don’t want that either. Guys don’t want girls to sleep with them because they feel obligated to, or because she can make someone else jealous if she does. Guys want women to have sex with them because they want to. Sexy women are enthusiastic about the experience, enjoy it, take part in it. They want to be there, they want the guy to get off, and they want to get off. Guys don’t want a manipulative girl in their lives for the long term. They may not care if she’s just there for the night, but if you play those kinds of games, you’ll never be one of the girls they ever really care about.
4. Less is more.
Men naturally find women, in general, to be attractive. Beautiful women are not the ones who wear so much make up, you’re not sure what they really look like underneath. Leaving only a faint whisper of the scent you have on as you pass a group of guys will leave them wanting to get closer to you… wearing a ton of perfume will make them choke and want to open a window. There are a million products on the market that will make us look prettier and more feminine. That doesn’t mean you need them all. From my experience, guys tend to find natural women more attractive than women who paint their faces on or use way too many products to invent themselves into something they’re not. When a girl is natural, a guy knows what he’s getting. Don’t overdo it.
5. Attitude is as important as appearances.
I’m not saying appearances aren’t important. They are. But no guy will stay with a beautiful bitch when he becomes aware that there’s a beautiful cool chick sitting at the next table. If you have a sense of entitlement, lose it. Be the kind of person anyone– guy or girl– would want to have as their best friend.
6. Sexy isn’t insecure.
No guy wants to sit with a girl who picks apart every other woman she sees, waving her insecurity around like a banner. Going on about how ugly another girl is won’t make him think she’s ugly when she’s not. It doesn’t work. Be secure with yourself, flaws and all, and you’ll end up commanding the attention of men without having to try to convince them that your competition doesn’t deserve it.