Shiver Me Timbers, Matey… We Gots Ourselves a Pirate Problem…

Posted on March 19th, 2006 by Christine.
Categories: Hilarious.

Pirates. No… not the kind that get busted for downloading music off the internet. Real, life, sea-faring pirates… except without the eye patches and peg legs. I had to laugh when I saw this story…

CNN reported today that two U.S. Navy ships (one a guided missle cruiser no less) were attacked by pirates off the coast of Somalia. Three men, in a skiff, shot grenades at the two ships until one of the ships returned fire with “small arms,” destroying the skiff in a cloud of black smoke.

Apparently, piracy is still common off Somalia’s coast with pirates targeting U.N. ships bringing food and medical supplies to the region. Apparently, however, after yesterday’s little ordeal, there are three fewer than there were before. You mean trying to comandeer a U.S. guided missle cruiser with three Somalians armed with grenade-launchers didn’t work out for them? You’re kidding me… that seems like such a fool-proof idea…

Personally, I love pirates. I am completely infatuated with them. My favorite ride at Disneyland is Pirates of the Carribbean. I love pirate books and movies and trashy pirate romance novels. I even have a special place in my heart for parrots. But these guys aren’t real pirates… they’re Somalian thugs who hijack ships and kidnap sailing crews. They don’t bury their treasures or make people walk the plank, or do any of the cool stuff real swashbucklers did. These pirates suck. And apparently they weren’t smart enough to stay away from two heavily armed U.S. military ships…

So I thought I’d give them a little advice for the next time they spot military ships making their way toward the harbor…

Christine’s tip to Somalian pirates… don’t bring a cutlass to a gun fight. -)

16 comments.

Who the Hell are You Anyway??? »« Why Christopher is a Big Pussy… ;-)

Christopher the Pyro asserted

wow… nice tid bit of information there.. fucking crazy skinnies.

March 19th, 2006

eric the Lil' Devil uttered

ok, hint #1 for these assholes. when the ship you are attacking has 15″ cannons hanging off each side with a mini gun in the tower and a big ass american flag on it, don’t fuck with it? sometimes fear and common sense should steer you away from a choice this bad?l-)

March 19th, 2006

Christine the Lioness said this

With this kind of intellect, I’m wondering why Somalia hasn’t claimed its status as a world power yet…

March 19th, 2006

Keith the Director up'n wrote this

well you kind of answered your own question eric…fear and common sense should steer you away bad choices…Somalis aren’t the brightest crayons in the box…the fucktards tried to take us on once and got there asses handed to them. You think you would learn from life lessen #1 but no these darwin award winners go after old glory once again and it cost them 3 more lives. Will they never learn? Probably not, and I can bet this is probably not the last Somali Pirate death we will hear of this year.

March 19th, 2006

Christine the Lioness hunt n' pecked this

It won’t be important enough to make news again I’m guessing… even if we did blast a few more Somali pirates out of their tiny little dinghies.

This is just proof that the male ego many times gets in the way of logic. Thinking you can attack a US military ship armed with cruise missles with only three guys, a skiff and a grenade launcher is the perfect example. If there had been a woman on that boat, she would have said, “Are you guys fucking insane????” Of course, the three guys would have probably done it anyway. They never think we know what we’re talking about. *sigh*

March 19th, 2006

eric the Lil' Devil up'n wrote this

if there had been a woman in control of that ship , instead of using rocket launchers they would of tried to nagg the us servicemen off the ship!

March 19th, 2006

Christine the Lioness stated

No… the woman would have nagged the Somalian pirates into maybe giving it one more iota of thought before attacking a US naval ship that has a 100% likelihood of blowing them to smithereens. At which point, they probably would have completely disregarded her “nagging” and done it anyway… and then she would have been blown up with the rest of them and it wasn’t even her fault. That’s how that would have gone down. -)

March 19th, 2006

Keith the Director got all philosophical

Actually christine there wouldn’t be a somali woman on the boat or if she was unfortunate enough to be on the death craft she would have gotten a word in edge wise b/c she is female. Woman aren’t allowed to show their faces let alone talk over there!

March 19th, 2006

Christine the Lioness stated

Yeah good point. So basically… the Somalian woman wouldn’t have been allowed on the “death craft,” nor would she been able to see the US ships aiming missles at them because her burka doesn’t allow her to have peripheral vision. But then again, if those were three *Amercian* men on that boat, I’m pretty sure they would have been like “Dude… let’s just wait for one that isn’t heavily armed.” I know I diss on guys a lot, but I have to admit… I wouldn’t trade the American boys for the guys in any other country… American girls have it pretty damn good. -)

March 19th, 2006

Keith the Director added

Hey that is by far the smartestthing you said on here yet…Once again you have amazed me! ) I’m so proud of christine right now I’m beaming…she ’s coming around boys! d

March 19th, 2006

aJ the Zen Master spake, and sayeth

Christine, you have some interesting turn ons )

March 21st, 2006

Christine the Lioness commented

Hehe. Actually aJ… my comment came from a conversation I has was having with a Canadian girl I met who had spent a lot of time in Europe. We were talking about the pros and cons of men in different countries and she said the worst country by far for guys being annoying was Italy.

It didn’t have much to do with a turn-on per se… but I agree I do have some interesting ones… -)

March 21st, 2006

Keith the Director added

Christine I’m curious what country did she say had the least annoying men?

March 22nd, 2006

Christine the Lioness remarked

Well… she was Canadian (like I said) and she thought Canadian guys were the best, followed by American guys in a close second. Obviously, she’s never read this blog… otherwise, she’d probably change her mind. -)

March 22nd, 2006

Keith the Director uttered

hahaha yeah she would defintely change her mind to Americans being the best? I mean C’mon canucks can’t compete [-x )

March 22nd, 2006

aJ the Zen Master spake, and sayeth

8-|

March 22nd, 2006

Feed for Battle of the Sexes : Chris vs Chris

Leave a comment

Names and emails are required (emails aren't displayed), url's are optional.

) (w) (u) p (y) (n) d (*) o) 8) ( (f) (g) (t) o (8) (l) (i) x (~) (e) $ (&amp) (c) ( s (d) (o) (@) (p) (^) (b) [


Fatal error: Call to undefined function show_subscription_checkbox() in /var/www/vhosts/chrisvschris.com/httpdocs/wp-content/themes/vistered-little-cvc/comments.php on line 93