Squeaky Clean Colon Cleansing


So about a week ago, Christopher expressed to me his desire that I get more fit. Translation… he wants me to lose weight. I didn’t react to that request so well which then prompted a fight where he also expressed that I’m difficult to talk to about things… but that’s a whole ‘nother post all together. Point is… it prompted me to turn over this new leaf in the Christine Fitness Regime. Now… please understand that prior to this, I didn’t see myself as “unfit.” I’d been doing an hour of cardio 5 days a week, kicked Christopher’s ass in a 5k run in March, and always had salad for lunch and subbed salad for french fries whenever I ate out. But… I wouldn’t mind looking like Pam Anderson (without the hepatitis sunken in eye look) and I definitely don’t have THAT body… so I have decided to make that my personal goal. Then I will be happy, Christopher will be happy, and maybe he’ll start inviting me to come along when he goes out with his friends. We’ll see…
Pamela Anderson –> <-- Very nice body (good job, Pam!)


Well… as a part of my new health regime, I got myself a personal trainer who suggested I do a colon cleanse. So I am… I chose an all-herbal one that basically consists of taking two pills (one fiber pill and one that’s a plethora of– according to the package– seemingly beneficial herbs all powdered up and made into the other pill).

When I told Christopher I was doing this, he decided to research it on the web, and called a bunch of his friends who he thought would have knowledge about it, and then came to the conclusion that colon cleansing is nothing more than a marketing ploy by drug manufacturers to sell a product that no one can prove really works or not.

Maybe he’s right. He did do the research.

But I have to say… since I started, I feel better. I haven’t had a single stomach ache. I don’t feel as sluggish. I mean, at the expense of sounding gross, I really don’t see how completely emptying your bowels twice a day WOULDN’T be good for you. It seems like getting waste out of your body, as opposed to letting it sit there and rot in your colon would be a thousand times better than the alternative. And… after two weeks, I’ve lost three inches around my stomach which realistically couldn’t be just fat from working out and water weight from drinking the gallons upon gallons of water I’ve started drinking. I think it’s safe to attribute at least some of that to the colon cleanse.

Anyway, he and I are both interested in hearing what other people have to say about it, and their experience with it, and what not. So feel free to chime in and give your thoughts.

But in the meantime, here’s to a squeaky clean colon, and my new & improved, healthy lifestyle, AND the Pam Anderson body that’s just waiting for me. ;-)

21 thoughts on “Squeaky Clean Colon Cleansing

  1. Good Luck with that christine, and good for you for wanting to better yourself. However in regards to your earlier comment about not taking it to well…Women never tak it well. I know my ex was thrilled as shit when I left her for gaining weight! I mean I have standards that need to be met. As cliched as it sounds I don’t give a rats ass who says it. you can’t spot a persons persoanlity from across the room. If she/he doesn’t look physically attractive to you, you’re not going to even waste your time going to see if they are a nice person or not. If anyone says otherwise they are lying through their teeth!

  2. Oh I guess In regards to the actual topic I haven’t read anything where colon clensing helps in the weightloss. Its not a proven help or hinderence. I’m glad yoiu feel squeeky clean on the inside, but the inches you lost, I’m 90% sure was just to to water weight. but keep up the good work! :) >-

  3. Well… no one is thrilled to hear that the person they’re with is unhappy with them for some reason. It would be a blow to anyone’s ego to hear that I think. But yes, I do think if it’s something your partner wants (and his expectations aren’t ridiculous about it, and he isn’t constantly telling you he wants you to do things to change who you are), then I think after the initial reaction, you do have to come back down to earth and say, “Hey… this is probably good for both of us if I do this.” But I disagree with Keith in the sense that I do think personality is just as important. I mean, at some point after you get to know someone, they aren’t just a body on the other side of the room anymore. And I think that eventually, it is their personality that causes you to fall in love with that person… not the way they look. The way they look is like the bait that gets you to want to get to know their personality better. And we are all going to age, or get pregnant, or go bald… so if your relationship is simply based on how someone looks, you probably won’t make it past those obstacles. But on the other hand… I do want to control what I can control and look as good as I can and take care of myself so that I can be attractive and healthy for both him and me.

  4. Ok, the 3 inches are from water.. most likely… but also just a general improvment in diet didn’t hurt.. it doesn’t really matter where they came from.

    I think the colon cleans is a scame because.. well mostly because I deceive people for a living so I know that if I was making drugs I would make colon cleansing drugs..

    Losing weight is simpleeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

    Calories Eaten – Calories Burned = Negative. Once that negative number hits 3600 you have lost a pound.. sometimes your body does everything it can to hold onto that pound.. but do for this four weeks (of eating 3600 calories less then you burn) and I guarantee you have lost weight and most likely 4 lbs. This is only as complicated as we choose to make it people.

  5. Well, there’s also such a thing as *oversimplifying* too. A lot of people who go on weight loss programs find that they can eat a certain diet for one week and lose a pound, eat the exact same thing the next week and lose two pounds, eat the exact same thing a third week and lose no weight at all that week. Our bodies are actually a bit more complicated than a fourth grade subtraction equation.

    Also, the more muscle you have the more calories your body burns to maintain that muscle. So weight loss is really about finding the right combination of exercise (cardio vs. weight training), calories (which is also affected by your natural metabolism rate), and combination of foods (high glycemic vs. low glycemic). In addition, obese people lose pounds much more quickly than thinner people. It takes less time for someone weighing 350 lbs. to lose 10 lbs. than someone weighing 150 lbs to lose 10 lbs.

    While Christopher may think he knows everything there is to know about… well, pretty much everything… I think those other things need to be taken into consideration as you put together an effective weight loss plan. Sure there is always more than one way to accomplish a goal, but some ways are more efficent than others. In my opinion.

  6. Christine You are wrong…Chris is 100% correct in his calculation. Tis is my field, my major. It is as simple as a 4th grade subtraction problem no matterif your lard ass weighs 350 lbs or or you just weigth 155 lbs. Everything is simplified. Your body is a mahchine. It processes what it puts in. You put in 3,000 calories you better do the work to burn 3,000 calories to stay the same weight! You don;t consequence you gaimn weight!! You do you egaul, burn more more you lose weight. It is actually that fucking simple.

    Yes it easier for a 350lb person to lose 10 lbs compared to a person who weighs 150 lbs b/c that lard ass ha a lot more to lose and has to do nothing less that cut out soda or twikies fro 1 week and they have that accomplished. where as a 150 lb person has to do a littl emore work. It’s all relative!

  7. Why am I not surprised that you agree with Christopher, Keith… but I do have to ask… did you happen to be drunk when you wrote these last two comments? Not judging… just wondering…

  8. Well I certainly don’t know everything.. about everything.. I don’t know anything about cooking, astronomy, even my spelling is weak… and CERTAINLY there are complex workout ratio’s and other aspects of dieting that play a factor but neither Christine nor I is training for the Olympics so over complicating things.. is just that over complicating. I think it’s important to remember that if your body takes in 2k calories and burns 2k calories no weight will ever be lost period. This isn’t debatable this isn’t a theory… so while I agree with Christine that there are more complex diets, I do believe that trainers like everybody else are in the business of making things complicated because their jobs depend on. Christine is not 100% wrong by any means, the more muscle one has the more calories they burn is this an effective weight lose strategy… I do not believe so because it very simple adds more complications to a simplist strategy, another cog that could detrail the whole thing. I also do not beleive that our bodies really are all that much more complicated over the long run then 4th grade math, all trend diets do not usuallywork in the long run, but the only diets that are based on the 3600 rule (weight watchers for example) are successful over the long run. If I want to lose weight I need to eat less calories, not eat healthier, not run 5 miles.. just eat less calories… am I healthier when I eat less, eat healthier, and excercise.. absolutely.. will I lose more weight if i do those things.. absolutely.. but I coul deat 2500 calories of Salid a day and if I only burn 2000 calories I’m going to gain weight.

    Kieth no more drunk commenting, while I appreciate your expertise, Christine will have to do more then bust out the 4th grade math trash to disprove me. :)

  9. Christopher, I’m not saying you’re wrong either. But you once told me that you lost 47 lbs. eating nothing but nachos. While I’m sure that weight loss happened because of the simple caloric input rule, it’s not healthy by any stretch of the imagination, it doesn’t give you a nice, fit-looking body, it doesn’t help your concentration and reduce your moodiness, either. I mean, come on… I could eat 6,000 calories a day and throw up half mymeals, and probably lose weight, but that doesn’t mean it’s good for me. I’m more in this to look great, feel really good, and do the best for my body and health. Anything else, I’m not that interested in… so if for those reasons, I choose something you feel is too complicated, I guess that’s how it’s going to be. I’m assuming you’d rather be with someone who wants to do this in a way that’s good for her, than just getting to the goal any way she can, as quickly as she can.

  10. There is an old adage that ?everything in moderation is good for you?? or something to that effect? I firmly believe in it? A simple approach is usually the most effective.
    Both Keith and Chris have good points. If the goal is to lose lbs, then calorie restriction is the only surefire approach. However, as Christine rightly points out, there are many mitigating factors to this approach.

    In simplistic terms, fat is like a balloon or bag, an energy storage compartment that we are born with, and can continually manufacture as we grow. All fat is roughly the same, but where we store it makes a difference. The two types are subcutaneous and intra-abdominal. Subcutaneous fat is stored below the skin, and intra-abdominal fat is stored behind stomach muscles, around our internal organs. Most healthy adults have an average of about 40 billion fat cells, the obese have around 100 billion, and the morbidly obese can have upwards of 300 billion of them. As we gain weight, fat cells can grow to about 1 microgram and eventually begin to convert other cell-types to fat and accumulate in organs and other tissues. You can ?empty? fat cells by losing weight, and fat cells do ?eventually? die off once they’re not needed, how-ever, it’s much easier to add fat cells than to get rid of them

    Contrary to popular opinion, fat is far more complex; it is a major endocrine tissue. It produces hormones that regulate various body processes. There are hormones such as Leptin [which regulates hunger, burning or storing of energy by stimulating the brain accordingly], Adiponectin [which increases insulin sensitivity in muscle tissue], Resistin [decreases insulin sensitivity], TNF alpha [regulates metabolism and insulin sensitivity, and there are others that also may have important roles such as thyroid and immune effectiveness, blood clotting, and blood pressure. The differing production of these hormones in unique people will factor in weight gain and loss, by affecting the rate, amount and longevity.

    liposuction may take out subcutaneous fat and make you look ?better?, but it doesn't remove the dangerous intra-abdominal fat that negatively affects health.

    Men and women manufacture, store and lose fat in different ways. Most women store fat subcutaneously in the breasts, hips, buttocks and thighs, and while this can become very unsightly, it is less unhealthy than the way men do. Most men store it in the abdomen, lower back, and chest. Remember that intra-abdominal fat is more dangerous. It can accelerate diabetes, hypertension and heart attacks.

    The 3600 calorie theory is a generalization, storage of excess calories depends on the composition of those calories and time frame. If you consume an extra 3,600 calories that is all fat, then about 75 to 85 percent will end up stored as fat, some calories will be converted to lean muscle tissue and an increase in fluid accumulation. About 10 percent of the food is used to actually process the excess calories. The result IS going to be weight gain, and if done in reverse, weight loss, but it is not as simple as it is made out to be.

    At the end of the day, ?will-power? and ?knowledge? play the greatest roles in weight loss, and these are also the things that are most lacking in people who struggle with ?weight issues.? It?s understandable, because today?s society places strong emphasis on looking like Giselle or Tyson, and less on actual health. From adolescence we are pressured to maintain unrealistic body-mass structures, and especially in women this can promote vicious and downward spiraling patterns of eating disorders, weight instability and chronic depression.

    Personally, Christine, I feel that you are taking a sensible approach if you wish to lose those few vanity pounds, just remember that you are living in the section of the USA with the least healthy views towards the human figure. There are an abundance of unqualified ?trainers? who exploit peoples? insecurities, and fad diets that do not work or are unhealthy for you. It is more cost effective if you execute your own will-power [rather than pay someone to bark orders at you] and do some personal research, take it slow, aim for ?realistic? goals and don?t buy into all the hype. Eat a healthy balanced diet, and do a range of exercises to burn excess energy, stimulate muscle growth and tone, and keep the goal of good overall health as your focus and you can?t lose? [* Figure of speech?]

    ~ Sorry about my loquaciousness [I hate fat chicks?]
    :@)

  11. Sometimes you really fucking surprise me, Trouble. I appreciate you taking the time to post that, and I also appreciate your encouragement.

    When Christopher and I both did Weight Watchers about a year ago, his pounds came off way quicker than mine. He attributed that to me not trying as hard as he was, which wasn’t the case at all, and ultimately, hearing someone tell you it’s easy and you’re not trying because you haven’t had the same success rate as they did, was pretty discouraging for me (someone who responds well to positive reinforcement) and I did ultimately just give up. I am not going to give up this time. Seeing the “getting fit” thing as sort of a fun competition between Christophre and I a year ago wasn’t as encouraging as I thought it would be.

    This time, I am going it alone and doing it my own way, regardless of what ANYONE says.

    The truth is, losing weight and sculpting a perfect body, happens differently for everyone… especially different for men and women. Maybe hearing that coming from a guy will help him realize that. I hope it does. I am doing exactly what you suggested– a balanced, super healthy diet, a range of exercises that stimulate fat burning and muscle growth, and keeping the primary goal making my body more healthy and weight loss will be a byproduct of that.

    Besides, yesterday I was at the gym and my trainer was telling this new guy he just started training that I was seeing results and he was bragging about me. Obviously, if I do what he says and lose inches and look really hot, that makes him look good as a trainer. So overcomplicating things or not, my trainer wants me to succeed.

    And by the way… you are the first person I’ve ever heard use “loquacious” in a real conversation. ^:)^

  12. Sorry to hear that… But it’s a tough to stay succinct on such a broad topic.

    You get my gist, everyone IS different, you have to do it your way…

    Calories are energy. Energy goes in and is either used or stored. However the process of energy use and storage in the human body is extremely complex.
    You put gas in a car?s tank where it is potential energy, turn the key and it goes. You can also put diesel, ethanol or some other forms of potential energy through the internal combustion engine and it will respond differently, with more, or less power, or efficiency. The energy not converted to kinetic force, is dissipated as heat and noise, or expelled un-burnt in the exhaust gasses. The human body engine works similarly, hence all the sweating, groaning and farting in the gym?
    A deep understanding of this process is beneficial, but yet unnecessary for weight maintenance.

  13. Yes i was a little typsy, and it showed in my typing skills, but my points of emphasis weren’t swayed by any means! i believe firmly in what i said, I just typed it poorly! ;)

  14. Over complicating things, regardless of how complicated they can be made is just a way of avoiding the simple fact that in order to lose weight, one must take in less “energy” then they put out. Anyway you cut this I’m not seeing anyway around that base formula, I think that making this issue harder then it needs to be ultimately results in failure. There is a reason why I find it easy to lose and gain weight.. when I want to lose weight I eat less… when I don’t care, I don’t pay attention. If I was still playing competative sports I would probably pay attention to things like fat, protien, carbs, ect but to gain and lose weight it’s just not required.

  15. After about a week it started to, so I took a couple days off the pills, which is what the directions said to do if it did. So hrmmm… I don’t know if it really helped that much… the jury is still out on this one I guess.

  16. The jury out? Not really, Colon Cleansing apparetly has no benefit. So save yourself the money from those pills and put it to something useful :)

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