Usually it’s Christopher complaining about “victim mentality,” not myself. I’m usually the one telling him “Babe… don’t be so hard on them… it’s not their fault they blah, blah, blah…” But quite frankly, I get sick of it too… and when I heard about this woman in North Carolina who decided to show just how much control we have over our own lives, I thought it made a statement that everyone should hear. Her name is Merab and she did an experiment…
Let me give you the backstory. So this guy Morgan Spurlock made a documentary a while back called “Super Size Me,” in which he did an experiment where he ate only McDonald’s for a few months and gained a bunch of weight and ruined his health and proved just how bad fast food is for you. Which, in my opinion, wasn’t ground-breaking, but it made a point to all those people who sit around and bitch about being fat as they scarf down a Quarter Pounder with cheese and large french fries, that hey… maybe they shouldn’t.
But now, a woman named Merab Morgan has decided to eat at McDonald’s and prove she can lose weight doing so. In short, she felt that it was unfair to paint McDonalds as a “careless corporate giant” and wanted to prove that she could actually become healthier by eating at McDonald’s. So she ate there every day for 3 months and lost 37 pounds.
Of course… she didn’t lose the weight by eating the french fries, the Big Macs, the apple pies, the ice cream. She chose the salads, and apple dippers, and other “healthier” items. She wanted to show the world that they can’t blame McDonald’s for being fat, they are responsible for what they consume, and even at McDonald’s, you still have choices that won’t make you fat… so if you choose to eat the supersized fries instead of the salad, you’re the only one to blame when you become obese.
Which, in my opinion, is a great way to prove a point about this “victim mentality” that a lot of Americans seem to have. At some point in time, Americans in general, began to blame everyone else for their problems, their mistakes, their failures, their insecurities. Americans, as much as I love the U.S. and the people who live here, have become a group of whiners… of people who sue McDonald’s because they spill hot coffee on themselves and got burned… of people who read the warning labels on the thousands of packs of cigarettes they’ve inhaled, but then bitch and moan when they get lung cancer… of people who lose their jobs for showing up to work intoxicated and then blame their bosses for firing them… of people who make babies and then don’t want to pay child support…
The bottom line is this…
We are responsible for our own actions and the consequences of those actions. Let’s accept it and stop blaming everyone else for everything wrong in our lives.
The truth is… there are only very few situations where we are actually victims. Most of the time, we have the knowledge and forethought and choices to change whatever predicament we’re in… and make it better. So Merab proved a good point… even for people who say, “I can’t help eating McDonald’s everyday… I only get a 30 minute lunch break and it’s the only thing close to where I work and… and… and…” guess what? Even under those circumstances, you can make the decision to eat healthy if you want. You just need the willpower and self-control to do so… and most importantly you need to realize that you are responsible for you and the only way to achieve what you want is to stop being a victim.
a strong willpower, self-control and self-discipline may be hard to achieve or work out for some people but we should try our best. i mean, having such strength of will power enhances understanding of one’s self and empowers us as a person. and being empowered means having to be responsible for your actions and their consequences.
Yes, Meg. Exactly.
Well some people.. like to pretend they are.. responsible for their actions but in reality they don’t take steps to make meaningful changes in there life.. (from my experience this is mostly a woman trait..).. anyway I would rather have someone who is completely a victim and plays it up all day long.. then someone to pretends their all empowered but not doing anything.
yes, action is very important. self-empowerment should not just be a pretense that you are, indeed, empowered. it should also reflect in our deeds. and as christopher put it, these should be actions that make meaningful changes in our life. so, in order for us not to be victims, we should be empowered in thoughts and in deeds. and we should take responsibility for our own actions.
Let?s just call a spade? A human-powered, hand-held portable earth extraction and relocation device. I completely agree with your post Christine? And Chris? comment drives the nail home, although I find both types equally irritating.
Screw polysyllabic buzz-words like ?empowerment?, they?re coined by self-help gurus, to perpetuate the ?victim mentality? that they feed off of. Try common sense? And where that?s inadequate, how about get off your ass and learn something.
To be fair, it?s everyone, not just Americans, though the trend is really obvious with the US because much of the world looks to it for example.
Personally, I will die a slow horrible death of lung cancer, imprisoned for statutory rape, but probably be too drunk to notice? Mea culpa?
With all these posts about worthless ass people you inspired me to do massive blog upgrades today!
You inspired him to do something besides sit on his ass and play video games??? Trouble… PLEASE keep posting… and next time can you inspire him to drop his own movies off at Blockbuster?
I’ve commented on a post on another blog about the same “we claim we’re victims” theme, not so long ago. I swear, I sometimes laugh a lot at the sueing “mentality”–unfortunately, the hot coffee example is another proof that someone pissed in the gene pool, and that we’re now facing the consequences with stupid people who find stupid excuses instead of taking responsibility.
Seriously, I agree that there are actually very few circumstances in which we’re really victims. I’m evidently not talking of getting mugged in the street and the likes, but of the kind of things you describe in your post. Getting off our asses tend to already help a lot in not feeling victimized. Of course, it’s harder than whining. Of course, we can’t dive in self-pity and make others pity us when we DO something. Of course, it demands action, and not remaining passive. Guess it’s all about wanting to feel in control of one’s life, or not.
On the other hand, as long, as people who sue for a hot cup of coffee get their way, other people will follow. They’d be stupid to pass on easy money made that way. *snarls*
Oh Yzabel… you are so right. The reality of it is, I have more empathy for people who ARE trying to do something and complain when it doesn’t happen than people who sit around on their butts and just complain. But it’s funny because I think people who are proactive tend to complain less anyway because even if their strategy doesn’t work, they’re too busy trying to figure out the next strategy than to whine about it. I can’t stand the people who feel entitled to a life free from work because they were idiotic enough not to know coffee will freaking burn them. I try to laugh at that (I’m glad you can), but quite frankly, it irks me more than pretty much anything else anyone does. Our system rewards people for being complete entitled fuck heads and if I knew how to change that, I would do my best to make that happen.
We should just go back to the good old darwinian theory–survival of the fittest. After all, it’s worked this way in the world since before Man appeard, why should we go on rewarding the stupid and incompetent who only contribute to the downgrading of our genes;)
LOL! I know… right now, it feels like we’re practicing survival of the whiniest!
I am overweight, and I don’t blame anybody but myself. Not everybody is like this.
However, your post was well written and spot on. I, too, think the “victim mentality” sucks. But I also wonder if these people who sue over frivolous bullshit are just out to make money because their greedy dogs rather than doing it for the sake of getting sympathy.
People choose to over eat as a coping mechanism, but seeing how adversely it affects ones health, there are alternate ways to cope with hardships in life. There is hope: medication and counseling to get to the core of the problem. This goes for anorexics and those bulimics as well.
Very good points, Tickle. I think the victim mentality isn’t just about sympathy though… it’s about “Poor me… other people are getting more than I am because I’m [insert word… black, poor, female, underprivileged, fat, gay, the oldest child, etc.] so I’m not going to work like everyone else… I deserve more and I’m just going to sue to get what I want. The world owes me!” So sure, they’re definitely out for sympathy, but it’s much more about everything not being fair to them and the sense of entitlement that comes from that. At least, in my opinion…
excellent entry, and the comments have all been good points to be made. too many people, especially in the US, suffer from the ‘poor me’ syndrome, imho. and empowerment only justifies those negative emotions. Too many people waste their energy being offended by others.
oh well, pity those who pity
btw, i got here surfing blogexplosion. i think a bookmark is in order
lates
beau
Thanks, Beau!
What a fantastic blog entry!! ANd a great premise for setting up a site.
Love your writing style(s) and what you have to say. We need more honest bloggers in the world: courageous males AND females. 
Keep it up…I’ll be back for more!
Tara,
Thanks for the propts but honestly I’m the courageous and honest one.. but shhh don’t tell Chrissy.
ok, fat people! listen! as a guy who is currently studying to be a personal trainer i have the answer,want to be skinny? this is not a miracle pill or 5 minute workout! listen now for free! step1: PUT DOWN THE GODDAMN FORK STEP2:STEP AWAY FROM THE TABLE STEP3:GET OFF YOUR FUCKING ASS FOR ANOTHER REASON THAN YOUR 27TH TRIP TO THE REFRIDGERATOR! GET A CLUE YOU WORTHLESS WASTES OF SPACE! its simple dont exceed the amount of calories that your body burns in a day,
Thanks Eric, you solved all my problems! :d/
well if thats your real pic you had no problems if it’s not though call dr. phil or richard simmons and fuckoff
My God… finally someone (eric) who is more subtleand fair then I am.
Eric, why should I reach out to Dr. Phil when I’ve got you?
Christopher, yes, I really love people like Eric — cutting the bullshit and getting right to the point.
Love you all
ok there sweetheart i just fell in lust, nice!
ahh we made a love connection!
Jesus this post is disgusting…I have no love for fatness! If you are fat you have no one to blame but yourself. You “CAN NOT” blame McD’s or Bk wendy’s etc. Like eric said about the calories. I studied the human body for 4 yrs in college and no the ins and outsa sa teacher prep/fitness major i know what it is and isn’t capable of. If you fucking eat 5000 calories a day and sit around playing fuckign dungeons and dragons, magic, myst or any other game or you sit and watch soap operas and tv guess what einstein you’re gonna gain weight. You cannot burn more calories than you consume in a day without exercise. So don’t fucking try it.
There is no drug that will burn fat while you sleep you lazy piece of shit…yes there are supplements to “HELP” do such things…notice the caps and quotes I said “HELP” you’re lazy ass needs to get on a bike, oliptical or a treadmill or hey guess what this can be acomplished for free on the god damn sidewalks in you neighborhood! It’s called WALKING more than the avg 25 ft from your fucking chair/couch to you fridge! If you want to be skinny don’t bitch and complain about all the good looking ppl geting laid while you masterbate to the internet or movies. Take that time and put it to good use by exercising and trying to score some ass for yourself in the real world when you get the chance!
couldn’t of said it better myself
All you say is correct, but usually people who are overweight are dealing with a root psychological issue as well (probably from an actual victimization as a child). If they don’t address that, all the weight loss plans in the world won’t work.
However, ultimately, they will still need to be the ones motivating to get to therapy as well as the gym.