Christine the Lioness (3122)
Christopher the Pyro (1986)
ProphetJoe the Irreverent (1253)
Trouble the Pirate (601)
Keith the Director (573)
Mara the Peacemaker (533)
eric the Lil' Devil (351)
AJ the Zen Master (305)
Ben the Kingpin (213)
Haas the Addict (187)
Christine 2 the Mercenary (131) Lei the Mercenary (124) Katie the Mercenary (115)
John1040 the Soldier (59) Christine the Lioness got all philosophical
And yes… I guess I’d rather never get married than marry someone who didn’t really want to get married. After all… if it was really just all about getting married, I think I would have done it long before I was 33 years old.
MamaLee the Virgin thought this
Hi there. i’m new to your blog, and I don’t know the history between you and your boyfriend, but your post made things very clear. He is making a value statement. He values his freedom, his own space and his independence more than he values you. Yes, actions speak VOLUMES. He may love you, but you deserve more. And you BETTER not wait around for this guy.
I got married at 34. Was engaged a few times, to the wrong guys, and I finally met someone who loves me for me… wants to grow old with me. We have 3 little blessings now. And NEVER think that you’ll never find anyone else to love you. Feel GOOD about yourself.
And I know you didn’t ask my opinion, so I’m sorry if I threw lots of stuff at you. But I think you should spend some time alone. No, not to show him what it’s like to be without YOU (although they could happen in your favor) - but to show YOURSELF what a wonderful world is out there. Spend time with your friends. Feel the warmth of the sun on your face.
And stop hoping. Just LIVE.
I wish you all of the best!
Xilly the Virgin spake, and sayeth
I agreed with Mamalee. Another advises for you. Don ever plan or think to chance his mind. Men are always done what they want. If that is his behavior, you have no chance to change it even you have time with him for the whole life!
Christopher the Pyro added
Why marriage? It’s an impertinent question: why the hell not?
It takes the form of a dilemma, framed around a question: is the marriage vow binding in the unilateral absence of love? If it is, then the risk of ending up in a loveless marriage ought to be a strong deterrent. If not, then the vow will be redundant. So, why bother?
The issues raised by this argument range from the exalted to the tawdry. Tawdry, first: even while it lasts, love is no guarantee that one will be honoured and cherished, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others. Neglect and adultery need not signal the end of love; a commitment to avoid them, even if conditional, would not be redundant.
The more exalted question is: can love be promised, or given at will? On the face of it: no. Love is not voluntary; it is a passion, and therefore passive. But the orthodox view among philosophers is (I think) that love is active at least in the way that judgement is: there are reasons for love, as there are reasons for belief, even if we cannot decide to love, or to believe. Trust me.. I’m very familiar with Christine’s passion for and against me.
There is something right about this. But it is immediately worrying. We don’t want to be loved for our qualities: that would seem to make love conditional, and to allow for fungibility and “trading up”. Nor does it help to appeal to relational properties, or relationships: love can be capricious, unfounded, unrequited; there can be love at first sight. (In any case, how self-centred to love people only for how they relate to me!)
We need to re-examine the arguments for taking love to have reasons in the first place. It is true that love seems intelligible from the first-person perspective. But so do many things that have no reasons, in the ordinary sense: tearing one’s clothes in grief; stabbing out the eyes of a photograph in anger; jumping for joy.
It is also true that love can seem appropriate, desirable – or not. It is bad to be in love with an abusive spouse. But why conclude that there are reasons for love, not just reasons to wish for love (or for its absence). Compare: it might be good to believe in God; but that is at most a reason to wish for belief, not a reason for belief itself.
In its typical form, the idea of reasons for love seems to conflate the feeling of love with such things as caring for someone, or with emotions and judgements directed towards them. Love need not go along with caring, or valuing, or judging to be good.
It’s good that Christine has again managed to forget how the actual conversation went. The debate didn’t start because I find marriage is a service contract with no service, it came from her stating she was going to go buy herself a ring to which I informed her that would most definitely guarantee she never married me. It doesn’t really matter what was being said on my end Christine was creating my end of the debate for me. I’m glad to see so much unsolicited advice flying around from people who are completely unfamiliar with Christine and I, the reality is Christine is free to leave the second she doesn’t find our relationship fulfilling or if she doesn’t feel cared about.
J the Virgin got all philosophical
Pssh. Don’t listen to people who are telling you what to do in your relationship. Do what YOU want. If you two are making each other happy, with or without a ring or a piece of paper that says you’ve legally tied the knot, you already have more than many, many people who DO have the ring and the piece of paper. Just enjoy each other!
Christopher the Pyro quibbed this
J,
Agreed but this little nugget of knowledge tends to be lost on Christine. 
Christine the Lioness remarked
I don’t want to leave… like I said, I’ve found the most amazing guy I’ve ever known and I never want to be without him. I know I’ve been sort of obsessing about the whole engagement thing lately which is probably stressful for him and I need to stop doing that and let things happen naturally without trying to force them. I really only want Christopher to marry me if that’s 100% what he wants.
BTW, he misunderstood the ring thing. I told him yesterday I was going to buy myself a ring and that would get the ring monkey off his back. He thought I meant I was going to buy myself and engagement ring. I see the confusion. I didn’t mean an engagement ring. I’d found this little two diamond ring for my right hand that didn’t look anything like an engagement ring and it was only $250. So that’s what I was thinking of getting because the cubic zirconia ring I usually wear has started to lose it’s zirconias and is starting to get that green tint. Those things are kind of disposable… I got it at Banana Republic or some place like that.
I don’t blame people for their unsolicited advice, they all come from different perspectives and I can really see where each one is coming from.
eric the Lil' Devil scribbled
well bro don’t know what to tell ya, i knew chris’ ex wife a long time, and have met christine, my boy chris’ problem is not with the commitment part, it is with the shit he went through with divorce… i think they should both take their time and when my boy is ready he’ll make appropriate steps, until then he should licten to his gut and ignore outside input 
Christopher the Pyro uttered
I’ll drink to that.
Mara the Peacemaker spake, and sayeth
Eric, I totally agree with you on that. Divorce is pretty shitty. My fiance had been married before as well, had a horrible divorce and a somewhat crazy ex-wife (which has come from other people who knew them and not from him) and while he actually wanted to get married again, the question of when was the bigger issue. I totally went through this “we have to get engaged” phase and then I just let it go b/c I realized I didn’t want him proposing if that wasn’t what he wanted or he wasn’t really ready.
eric the Lil' Devil added
i know my man will use his brain to make the right choice when the time comes but , mara i feel you, i guess once bitten, and all that
Christopher the Pyro mentioned
Seriously guys.. your are forgetting about when Christine stabbed me.. then she burned me that one time while I was driving the car…. did I mention the time she tried to jump out of the car on the freeway.. I’m taking things nice and slow with her.. I don’t want to wake up one morning and her straddling me good fellows style with her gun in my face.
Christine the Lioness stated
Aha! Proof I haven’t tried to change him… he still makes up all kinds of bizarre fantasies that never happened. Although the image of straddling him good fellas style with my gun in his face is sorta hot…
Yes, Eric. I know you know Christopher pretty well and you’re right. He’ll make the right decision if and when the time comes. It’s one of the many things that I love about him… he doesn’t let anyone else (myself included) influence him into doing anything he doesn’t want to do… and I have a lot of respect for people who are like that. 
It’s all good. No more whiny-ness from me.
Trouble the Pirate said this
Take a little gander at history folks… How many men have been choked from a gallows, strapped to a stone slab, drawn with a dull knife, had their entrails yanked out into the blazing sun, then been slowly dragged into four semi-equal parts by horses, and cried ‘freedom’ as their blue facepaint ran into their eyes? …okay, just Mel Gibson… But MANY [and I mean like hundreds or even thousands of…] other likeminded men have met with agonizing deaths and untold tortures… All in the name of FREEDOM!
What should we learn from an historical retrospective such as is this? …Freedom is very important to guys…
Women see a man who defends his miniscule one-bedroom walk-up as if it were a medieval castle on the Thames… As a Heffner wannabe who throws all-night orgies with overweight prostitutes… Not so… Men just need their own private space… Don’t believe me? Just ask John Grey about his ‘retreating to his cave’ theory… Don’t believe him? […and I think he may even be one of those non-medical ‘Dr.’s’]… Ask your dog why he has to stop forty-billionteen times to pee on specific […to him] low-lying objects, as you brave 40 degree weather…
A man who has been through a nasty divorce where the woman he loved tore out his heart and wallet […and are there other kinds?] knows what it is like to have their freedom [and privicay] taken away forcefully… Much akin to the slaves of oldentimes… When emancipation is finally granted [by a kind and benevolent judge] and he bolts for the nearest border… You better bring a group of pretty fast, strong guys to hold him down if you want to put shackles back on the sonofabitch…
Of course I jest… But coincidentally, just a few days ago I found myself in exactly… Okay, almost the same predicament… My girl asked me WHEN I was going to ask her to marry up with me… Then started a huge arguement with me because I answered [truthfully] that I wasn’t sure. Touting that I didn’t ‘really’ love her, that my life was more important to me than ‘ours’ was, and blah, blah, blah…
Way to defeat yourself before you reach your goal girl… Of course again, I completely understand all the reasons she wants to marry… However, attempting to guilt or coerce someone into marriage simply because society, your family, or your deep seeded need to live a line out of Jerry Mcguire pressures you to, will doom the marriage to fail anyway… And getting angry with me because I’m not the same person you are, and don’t share the same values you do right at this moment, only serves to solidify my resolve that you are not really prepared to handle the extreme COMPROMISE that is a ’sucessful’ marriage yet…
“You complete me” sums up the feelings that most women yearn for… But how about stop waiting for the Disney ending… How about stop searching for that non-existent finisher of your sentences… How about trying to complete yourself… BEFORE you go off hunting for Mr.Right. Jebus Rice women! Most of you are so preoccupied with your carreers and pilates schedules these days, that you can barely muster the basics of intelligent conversation, cooking, and lapdancing [… the things a marriage sustains on, long after the ‘honeymoon’ is a distant memory.] Hell, I’ve had to drive two of my ex’s to the ER, one to get stitches ’cause she cut her hand open trying to open a […PEEL HERE—>] Digourno pizza, and the other with third-degree burns on her thigh, the result of scalding herself whilst [trying] to cook a packet of Kraft mac & cheese… Let’s not even get into the crappy lapdancing… And I’ve mostly dated strippers… Although that may explain the lack of cooking skills…
Okay… That was longwinded… Sorry… But I haven’t commented in a while, so I had a pretty large load to blow…
Christine the Lioness penned this
Trouble… you are seriously damaged.
Christopher the Pyro got all philosophical
I guess since I relate.. we are both damaged beyond repair..
Living Proof the Virgin scribbled
When it comes to marriage its not just binding two people together anymore.
Its Laws and rules which tend to lean more toward the females side if the marriage does not work out.
Its not that the man doesnt love the woman.. but if and when the woman doesnt love him anymore. Not much changes shes progressed. Hes stepped backward.
Sorry ladies but society has changed the outlook on marriage and lessened its worth.
Especially when a bill was submitted to try to allow same sex marriage.. That stamped it as marriage is a joke now and cant be taken seriously.
Sorry but gay and lesbianism is a mental illness.
It’ll never be like the way it used to be.
* another topic.. when you see a male dog in a park trying to mount another male dog how do you feel?? honestly.. its not natural. That dogs a little confused isnt he?
And exactly how many times have you ever seen this?? lol once? ever.
Christopher the Pyro penned this
Living Proof.. I have to disagree here.. I’m cool with whoever getting married.. it doesn’t mean as much because people don’t place value on it anymore… once the illusion of it mattering is gone in the end it ends up really not mattering as much.
On a brighter note, I’m especially cool with bi-chicks and if that is a mental condition.. I think we should induce it at birth.
Christine the Lioness scribbled
I have to disagree with you too, LP. I’m totally fine with gays getting married if that’s what they want to do and I agree with Christopher that it’s not gay marriage that lessened the value of marriage– it’s all the people who get divorced and remarried and divorced again. Those are the people who have cheapened marriage so to speak. The gays actually VALUE marriage because they’ve had to struggle so hard to be allowed to do something that the straight population (at least most of the straight population) are taking for granted. And if two people are serious about keeping a marriage together, should it matter who the laws favor if it fails? If you go into a marriage, expecting to get a divorce– or decide to not get married, because you might end up getting divorced– then you’re setting yourself up for failure from the start and you’re the one that’s not serious about marriage (not that I agree with your statement that the laws favor women– I’ve known men who received alimony because their wives made more money than them. As women have become more able to support themselves on their own, the laws have become less biased).
Ultimately, what marriage means is up to the individual’s perception of it. He/she can take it seriously, or not.
I’ve never seen two gay dogs trying to hump, but I have seen several trying to hump peoples’ legs… I think a dog will hump anything when it’s horny…
Trouble the Pirate thought this
eehh… so will most guys…
When I was at a friend’s wedding in San Diego, I did have the ‘privilege’ of witnessing another friend’s dog trying to hump his dog. My friend who’s dog was doing the humping thought it was funny… My friend who’s dog was the humpee… Didn’t think it was so funny… I pissed myself… And got to give them both hell about it for days.
Christine… Sometimes I really wonder if you really are a natural blond. You have such insight.
Living proof… While I can’t deny that some people who live alternative lifestyles might be motivated by confusion, traumatic history or a conception of what they perceive to be ‘cool’… I can say that I am aware of many respected studies which prove your ‘theory’ about homosexuality to be completely without merit.
One of my best friends is a lesbian, and although she is a beautiful girl… Her brain is wired ‘all guy’… For as long as I’ve known her, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. If “gay and lesbianism is a mental illness” as you say… Then I propose that sectarianism and dogmatism are also…
Like Christine says, homosexuals don’t cheapen marriage… Britney & K-fed do…
*** I support same sex marriage… Especially if the chicks are hot! ***
Mara the Peacemaker stated
Living, pray tell, how did things “used to be?”
living proof the Virgin asserted
Ya your right.. marriage isnt the same. Just ive heard cases where one partner goes out and cheats.. the couple get a divorce and that same cheating spouse still lives in the house with the new person, and on top collects alimony too boot!
Thats wrong.
Or some dont leave after cheating.. because the cheaters also come up with an outrageous settlement plan and refuses to budge unless its met.. and stays in the residence until the other decides to give up. Provoking the situation by leaving flowers bought by the cheaters new other on the dining room table.. or actually bragging about the great sex they had that day. All the while the kids are in the other room watching tv.
as for the gay thing..
Come on guys did I say a female dog trying to hump a female dog.. YOU WOULD NEVER EVER SEE THAT! ever
hows my theory now? let me adjust it.. ok.. gay males have mental illnesses..
gay females still act like females.. regardless if they try to act male or not.
But theres ALOT of gay males that are dead on with acting female.
Christopher the Pyro up'n wrote this
Living Proof…
Hating gays is a lot like hating women.. it’s just not worth the energy or thought.. sure most guys and girls find SOME homosexual guys way more disturbing and uncomfortable to be around.. especially in a sexual context. I’m only one person so this is a very limited sample size.. but every girl I’ve ever known finds lesbian porn hot… while only a few have ever thought gay porn was cool… so are we hardwired at least on some level to think two chics are cool.. probably.. most girls at some point fantasize about being with a girl, I’m pretty sure they don’t have a mental issue….
I’m really not sure why I would care what kind of dog is humping what kind of dog… most of the dogs I’ve been around will hump whatever…..
I think people should do whatever.. the reality is life is short.. don’t spend it being pissed or in a situation that isn’t good or not hooking up with who you want to hook up because you care what someone else thinks.. do what feels right for you and ignore everybody else. That brings us back to the staying married because married should mean something yes it should mean something but not to the point that you ruin your life being in a relationship that isn’t fulfilling on some level… there is nothing honorable in being unhappy.
Christine the Lioness got all philosophical
Wow, babe… well put. I agree totally.
In terms of the dogs… if you look at the way dogs engage in sexual intercourse (like most animals), the female is submissive in the sense that she puts out a pheromone that attracts male dogs who then come hump her while she just sort of stays put. So obviously, you could never see two female dogs humping (even if they really wanted to) because they’d both just be lying there. 
Living Proof the Virgin remarked
You guys are halarious! forget the dogs it was an example.
Love this place!
Trouble the Pirate scribbled
Dogs are people too… I’ve seen a female [Cock]er Spaniel hump an Oscar the Grouch doll, though I not sure WHAT point that enforces… Ehh, there’s no accounting for taste… 
Isn’t it great how every serious debate can be brought to girl-on-girl sex? Good job Chris… 
Christine the Lioness stated
He can do that with a conversation about anything… it doesn’t even have to be a debate.
And I can’t believe LP wants to abort the dog conversation. I feel like we were just getting somewhere with that…
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