Tag Archives: marriage

Jan 21

20 reasons I’d be a good trophy wife

1. I laugh at all jokes, even ones that are sexist or simply not funny, just to make your friends feel good about themselves.

2. I look pretty in expensive clothes and don’t mind if other women hate me for bragging about how much money you make.

3. I don’t eat much which keeps the grocery bill down and prefer eating out anyway.

4. I have experience and expertise in hiring maids, nannies, and gardeners.

5. I don’t mind using your credit card to have the car detailed a few times a month so people don’t think “you let your wife drive around town in a dirty car.”

6. I always shop at the same high-end boutiques, play tennis at the same country club, and get treatments at the same spa, so you’ll always know where you can find me in an emergency if I’ve forgotten to charge my cell phone.

7. I totally stay out of custody arguments you might be having with your ex-wife and the mother of your children by pretending they aren’t going on.

8. If I don’t understand something, I shake my head and pretend to understand it anyway.

9. I like letting the man make all the important decisions like how to support us, where to take us on vacation, and which contractor we should hire to build our addition.

10. I can use the skills I developed in the three months I spent doing online interior design school to continuously redecorate our house so it never seems “dated.”

11. I don’t complain that you spend a lot of time at work because I can entertain myself for hours by just flipping through Vogue.

12. I won’t mess up the order of the financial, business, sports, and World News section of your paper in the morning since I only read the funnies.

13. When we go to the grocery store, I won’t waste your time giving the cashier coupons I’ve clipped from the paper to save you money—I don’t do that.

14. I’ll make sure my skin always looks radiant for you by scheduling deluxe European facials twice a week and buying the most expensive skin care products on the market.

15. I don’t mind spending a little extra to have things delivered to me, so you don’t have to worry about me getting in any fender benders during the day while I’m running errands.

16. If we play chess, I’ll always let you win. The same goes for checkers, Scrabble, Yahtzee, Poker, Gin, Rummy, Connect Four, Candyland, Chutes and Ladders, Operation, Battleship, and Bingo.

17. I’ll never get you thrown out of a casino in Vegas because I don’t know how to count cards. Which also means you can always beat me at Blackjack.

18. I don’t understand why some wives complain about football. I actually like heated box seats.

19. I don’t need a big wedding to make me happy. I’m perfectly fine with just 300 of our closest friends enjoying an intimate little celebration on some private island somewhere. It doesn’t have to be overblown. After all, it’s about our love for each other, not the wedding.

20. Working at a job tends to make me tired and irritable. I never want you to have to deal with ‘crabby’ me, so I’ll never get a job.

21. A lot of guys that I’ve slept with have told me that I’m good in bed, so you can be sure I’ll rock your world.

22. I spend a lot of time at the mall, so if you ever need a new tie or something, I can pick it up for you no problem.

23. I didn’t go to college, so I won’t stick you with any student loan debt or complain that my pricey education didn’t pay off. I also won’t root against your favorite college teams.

24. I don’t follow the stock market so I won’t get all glum when your investments are down.

25. I believe marriage is a two-way street. Some women don’t realize what this means. It means that you need a car with fast acceleration so you don’t get into a wreck if you need to get into a different lane.

Nov 16

Cheaters, Cheaters, Cheaters

So Christopher and I got into an interesting conversation last night after I told him about something I’d heard on the radio. At this point, you’re probably all aware of the controversial internet dating site called Ashley Madison. The tag line for the site is “When Monogamy becomes Monotony” and it’s basically a site where married and “involved” people who want to cheat on their spouses or fiances can go to meet either single or other married people who want to help them cheat.

I probably needn’t explain why this is controversial. Opposition to the site basically consists of this: Sites like these (as well as the controversial billboard put up by an east coast law firm specializing in divorce cases that pictured a half naked man and a woman in lingerie with a caption that read “Life is short. Get a divorce.”) are leading to the moral decay of society. They encourage engaging in behavior that most would agree go against the vows of marriage and create situations in which one partner is essentially deceiving the other. Not only do they encourage it, they make it very easy by helping men and women who are considering having an affair, find someone to do it with quickly, easily, and discreetly.

In defense to that accusation, the creator basically said that people are going to cheat no matter what and his site was a response to that behavior, not the cause of it. To which the interviewer on the radio (for those of you who listen to L.A. radio stations, it was Scott Valentine) said, “Well if people are going to do crack anyway, why not just open a crack house?”

So… both are interesting points of view and there are a few things to consider when really examining this topic:

1. Does the ability to do something without having to put much effort in, encourage people who might otherwise be swayed from doing it, to do it? I think so. The effort of having to drive to Blockbuster has, for sure, prompted me to just order a PPV movie at home. The amount of effort it takes to do something and the amount of risk involved in getting caught doing it, are definitely factors when deciding to go ahead and do something or not. This site minimizes those effort and risk factors and therefore, in my opinion, does encourage cheating. Now… I have to pose that opinion lightly. If you are in a monogamous relationship, and like being monogamous, are you even going to bother going to that site? Probably not. So the desire to cheat does have to be there before any influence from the site comes into play.

2. Does the general acceptance of a site like this have overlying repercussions on society? I think so. With divorce rates as high as they currently are, I don’t think that the majority of our society takes marriage very seriously. Many people go into marriage for the wrong reasons (either because of family or society pressures, or they’re pregnant, or because they just believe they’re in love and Hey, if it doesn’t work out, I’ll just get a divorce). I don’t personally think all the marriages and divorces and having one kid from this guy and then two kids from the next husband, etc. creates a very stable family unit and family units are very important in our culture for lots of reasons. So even if a site like Ashley Madison is a symptom of the evolution of our society’s perception of marriage and its importance, it still reinforces that perception right or wrong.

3. It’s a free country. Should people have a right to create any sort of business they want if there are people willing to pay for that service? Again, this is a tough one. On one hand, I have to say yes. Our site isn’t for everybody, but Christopher and I have the right to have it and there is certainly a base of people who enjoy reading what we post and are entertained and find it engaging. Our ads don’t make shit for money, so it’s not a business but it’s still what we want to do. With that said, there will always be men willing to pay prostitutes for sex. Yet, prostitution is illegal in most states (partially because it’s difficult to tax, partially because the religious folk don’t agree with it morally, and partially because without excessive regulation, it tends to breed other types of crime and exploitation).

So bottom line… while I feel sites like this have a right to exist, I think we, as people, should really pay attention to how our actions/creations/business endeavors factor in to where we, in general, want our society to go in the next five, ten, twenty years and then take some personal accountability for either pushing it in the right direction or the wrong one. We all have our own individual morals that guide us in that reflection, and those morals differ from other peoples’, but at the point where we actually begin to say that cheating on your significant other and deceiving the person you’ve chosen as your partner in this life is good for society, I think the justification for making a few bucks has overshadowed logic.