Christine the Lioness (3122)
Christopher the Pyro (1985)
ProphetJoe the Irreverent (1228)
Trouble the Pirate (600)
Keith the Director (573)
Mara the Peacemaker (530)
eric the Lil' Devil (351)
AJ the Zen Master (305)
Ben the Kingpin (213)
Haas the Addict (187)
Christine 2 the Mercenary (131) Lei the Mercenary (124) Katie the Mercenary (115)
Ben2 the Soldier (56)
dreaming-neko the Virgin said this
hilarious! 
hterry the Virgin stated
LOL this is great!
Christine the Lioness penned this
Glad you enjoyed it.
AsharEdith the Virgin got all philosophical
Definatelly Good!
Christine the Lioness thought this
See, Christopher! People like this post… he didn’t think you all would, but I did!
Christopher the Pyro stated
No no this is a good one.
She forgot reason #11:
If your man is a liberal / democrate he is gay.
Deb the Virgin mentioned
oooo oooooo 12. You sleep next to him for THIRTEEN MONTHS every single night, waiting for him to initiate sex for once and he NEVER DOES.
God my ex husband was so fucking gay…
Christine the Lioness pontificated
I can top that… you lie next to him in bed and he’d rather take off his clothes than your’s. Gay, gay, gay…
Christine the Lioness hunt n' pecked this
Actually… what the fuck was I talking about. I can’t top that… 13 months???!!! Girl, here’s to you for making him your ex. But I gotta say, if that were me… I would’ve just jumped on him and taken him by month #2. 
Deb the Virgin chimed in with
You don’t know my ex. I didn’t just stop intiating the sex because I was bored. It was only one position and he did nothing.
It really was dismal.
Jo the Virgin spake, and sayeth
I can top that (eventhough this is a classic post!) …… you lie next to him in bed and he’d rather take off his clothes to try on yours!
No, wait, I can’t top yours (as in husband - doesn’t try on mine!) Deb - you (and I don’t even know you!!) deserve more - what a twat he is/was!!
Christine the Lioness hunt n' pecked this
That was funny, Jo! And I agree with you about Deb deserving more. I mean… a guy who isn’t good in bed is like a car with no wheels. Even if it’s a Mercedes, it’s not worth having… and having to jack it up to fix it over and over is just too much effort.
Christopher the Pyro hunt n' pecked this
Deb, maybe you wern’t any good in bed or unattractive.. (but he was probably a faggit) or annoying… Jo… that is fucking hilarious.
Christine the Lioness uttered
I guarantee you Deb is good in bed, Christopher… trust me on this. She makes me orgasm like you wouldn’t believe.
And I, too, have been with suspect men who aren’t out of the closet yet… once they’re in bed, they’re easy to figure out. They don’t do ANYTHING the way straight guys do.
Benjamin Solah the Virgin mentioned
that was great. but chris we all now republican’s are the gay ones, They cop it both ways
Christopher the Pyro said this
Benjamin,
I’m not quite sure what you were trying to say there.. but ok… as for republicans being gay.. your right sometimes they are gay.. where I live.. in the highly diverse and tollerant neightborhood of South Redondo Beach, we have a Asian, Gay Republican Mayor!
jocie the Virgin got all philosophical
I wanted to add the one about Cosmo but looks like you got it covered. =) Excellent insights.
Jeans Mommy the Virgin hunt n' pecked this
THAT is just too funny!
stacee the Virgin said this
that is great! i like number 10 and 4 best.
p.s. i love your site and the whole battle of the sexes thing between two people with the same name, hehe. very cute
valerie the Virgin added
lmao… but I do think that #8 would be more accurately:
“Straight: When you ask him if he thinks Orlando Bloom is hot, he screams, ‘I’m not gay! Do you think I’m gay! Why are you even asking me that question!?’ He would then storm out of the room.”
Or… at least that would be what my husband would do…
rik the Virgin quibbed this
Great stuff.
sudiegirl the Virgin quibbed this
Oh…this is too true. TOOOOO true. Oh my. Ouch. Oh well…been through a few of those in my life looking for a “sensitive guy”. Oh well. This is a great blog, BTW…keep it up!
Sudiegirl
Jake the Virgin remarked
I must be straight. Very funny post!
DayByDay4-2Day the Virgin quibbed this
You know I guy is gay when he touches his own breast and say feels like a B Cup to me!
yorkshiresoul the Virgin hunt n' pecked this
Strait..doesn’t know what belliage is ?
Christine the Lioness asserted
LOL, York. A belliage is a type of highlighting. Now you know what it is, and you’re still straight! Christopher asked the same question.
Big Gay Sam the Virgin commented
o.k. what the hell is a belliage? Does that make me a poor excuse for a gay man?
I thought this was great. Thanks for sharing it. 
LuLu the Virgin uttered
Finaly I can tell if the guy I like is gay or straight.
Kel the Virgin commented
That’s extreemly funny. Thanks for that.
Kel
supermom the Virgin uttered
Thanks for the laughs!!! Now what do I do if my sweetie did half of those??? (JK)
Ben the Kingpin remarked
Except for all the references to sports, strip clubs, the lawn and pornography, I am, apparently, straight.
Christine the Lioness scribbled
Ben… are you sure?
Ben the Kingpin uttered
Christine, it’s interesting that you would say that. These days, it seems, if someone says, “I’m straight!” people say, “Methink he doth protest too much!” If you say, “Yeah, I’ve thought about it…” they respond with, “Total poff!”
The fact of the matter is simple: I have no sexual urges toward men at all. I am not vehement about it. I don’t feel thretened by others who do. It simply isn’t a part of who I am.
I am, however, extremely unique for a man. I don’t like sports, I hire someone to mow my lawn (and that’s only because paving it is against our community by-laws) and I actually do dig certain kinds of porn, but I’m so jaded by my life’s experiences that what I think of as “porn” would probably make your eyes bleed, while things you think of as porn would make me say, “oh, that’s kinda nice in a juvenile sort of way”.
As for strip clubs, I was never very interested in them. My buds always said they got aroused when they went there–which I never understood. How can you be aroused when there is no connection? No mental exchange? No mutual love and affection?
One does not need to be gay to appreciate the mind and soul of a woman, to ache for that one-on-one personal communication, to yearn for a meeting of minds that can only make the sexual aspects explode.
I’m very much more interested in quality over quantity–and if she doesn’t have a decent mind to engage my biggest sex organ (my brain), then there’s not going to be much of a response from me in the nether regions.
And, please, don’t get me started on the “bread and circuses” method of keeping our population fat, dumb and distracted (sports). Ugh. I had hoped we had evolved beyond the neanderthal, but–it seems–’twas only a pipe-dream.
charles the Virgin up'n wrote this
very funny
Kay the Virgin said this
#13. You lay across him with your ass near his face and he plays with the lace on your panties.
tragic
Lu Lu the Virgin stated
Nice thoughts, but I don’t think the guys in Brokeback Mountain read Cosmo…..?????
Christine the Lioness up'n wrote this
I’m talking about real gay guys… not gay cowboys.
Keith the Director mentioned
Does anyone really care what gay guys (cowboys or not)read whether it be cosmo or the pier 1 catalog?
Christine the Lioness pontificated
No, but we care if they’re trying to pass themselves off as straight and making us their “beards.”
Keith the Director scribbled
=))
mike the Groupie commented
this is just stereotypical. [-(
Christopher the Pyro remarked
Or your gay..
Christopher the Pyro quibbed this
besides the one thing everybody always fails to mention about stereotypes is that they are true that is why they became stereotypes in the first place..
Christine the Lioness quibbed this
LOL! )
g pill the Virgin commented
my ex-man calls a guy 20 times a day yet says he’s not gay
he never called me that much, plus talks to him 51mins at some of the times i say on his phone bill.
says he now has hemmoriods –wonder why
Christine the Lioness penned this
LOL!
Andrew the Virgin quibbed this
What the hell… I have never read so much Amercian gay shit in all my life. They think that gay men are the 3 partners in the human race. Get a life and grow up. Oh and before you all start jumpling on my back. I love women only. Into motor racing
Christine the Lioness stated
If you’re reading a lot of American gay shit, I’m wondering, Andrew, if you really do love women. Most straight guys I know would rather look at straight porn rather than “gay shit.”
But I do believe that you’re not gay. The gay guys I know tend to have a better sense of humor…
Christopher the Pyro spake, and sayeth
Andrew’s comment confused me.. your reading a lot of “Gay Shit” yet your not a fag. ok… “3 partners of the human race??” WTF are you talking about I’ve never even heard that phrase…
James Harding the Virgin thought this
So… this has me thinking…
What about bisexual guys?
bee the Virgin hunt n' pecked this
yes i pass….i must be straight
Anky the Virgin stated
Is there somethere the same for lesbian girls? 
Christine the Lioness up'n wrote this
I guess it depends on how butch they are… (I’m gonna put a bat on my comment too because bats are cool) Check out my bat –>
Christopher the Pyro up'n wrote this
All girls are bi, there that is your rule.
Christine the Lioness said this
Christopher meant in his dreams, all girls are bisexual. Unfortunately for him, he got stuck with me… and I never went through a “lesbian” phase. My motto… why fool around with a girl when there are soooo many beautiful men out there?
Christopher the Pyro asserted
I just haven’t damaged her enough yet… but don’t worry I’m working on it.. 
Besides she just doesn’t know that being bi earns you an extra 
on the girl rating scale.. and since I know she likes perfect scores.. I’m confident with this knew knowledge it will be a whole new game.
Erica Brown the Virgin spake, and sayeth
ROFL… my ex hit about half of those… he is over here crackin’ up.
Christine the Lioness scribbled
He’s crackin’ up because he knows he’s gay and the jokes on you, honey…
ProphetJoe the Irreverent added
You know your boyfriend is gay when he keeps trying to give you a reach-around while he’s tapping your backdoor…
Hey, what’s with you Chris-es? Are you in a funk with the ending of the college football season?? I haven’t seen any comments from ‘tine recently about her mighty USC Trojans and ‘topher hasn’t talked trash since his beloved Nittany Lions fell to Illinois. Did I mention Illinois is headed to (supposedly) either the Capital One Bowl or the Rose Bowl? Our 8-3 record (with a big win over the previously undefeated #1 Ohio State Buckeyes) isn’t bad for a team that won just 2 games last year and no conference games!
Of course, as our football team gets better, our basketball team falters. Two years ago we were in the NCAA Championship game — this year we’re 4-2 with loses to Duke and Maryland already… *sigh* All is not lost, however, as we have Jeff Jordan on our team! Michael Jordan’s son is a walk-on at Illinois and has shown some good skills — OK, not Michael Jordan skills, but good skills. If nothing else, it’s nice to occasionally see MJ in the crowd wearing the orange and blue!
Chatty One the Virgin hunt n' pecked this
I’m not sure if this man I’m dating is bisexual or straight. I asked him if he was gay in an e-mail and he laughed and said no. He just told me he’s into pegging and showed me two of his favorite porn movies with that being the biggest part. His favorite songs are by Celine Dion, Whitney Houston, and Cher. He knows what each color of each rose signifies, and is a chef. I’m in love with him, but fear the worst. Can someone give me their opinion?
ProphetJoe the Irreverent added
Let me ask you this: how long has your gay-dar been broken?
Trouble the Pirate mentioned
PJ you cynical old fart…
Chatty… The world is moving away from putting people in little boxes with little labels, human sexuality is a complex web, and cannot be described accurately with 3 words.
You said it yourself, “Im in love with him”. That is what should matter most to you. The more time you spend speculating and worrying about what you fear is the “worst”, the less time you will spend actually enjoying your relationship.
Is it more important to know what all the different colors of roses signify …or what your favorite flower is, and just the right moment to present you with it?
Does it matter what singer he listens to …or that he loves music?
Is it important that he is a chef …or that he cooks you dinner, even after he has slaved over a hot range all day?
Your sexual relationship is just a part of your relationship, and it is up to you to be open and honest with yourself and him, and that will help you work through this ‘current dilemma.’
Explore your own inner-freak, you can’t be with a man who enjoys “pegging” if you are ‘hung-up’ on your own sexuality, or have inhibitions about expressing your own fears or fantasys with someone you profess love for… Instead of worrying whether he’s straight, bi-sexual, or gay, concentrate on the fact that he has chosen to be with you, grab your strap-on, lube it up, call a friend over to work the camera, and peg-the-hell out of your man… you might even like it.
ProphetJoe the Irreverent thought this
Trouble — pegging, one more thing to add to your list…
Maybe you can kill 2 birds with one stone and have Jessica Alba peg you!
Trouble the Pirate penned this
It’s like he’s in my head…
ProphetJoe the Irreverent hunt n' pecked this
Moi?
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