It turns out that Heaven isn’t above Hell. Rather, Heaven and Hell share the same plane and are separated only by a long wooden fence.
One day, the Devil decides to throw a huge bash. Lots of bands perform with some of the biggest names, and the Damned start having a heck of a party. Toward the end of the festivities, a big fireball fight breaks out and sure enough, one lands on the fence and burns it down.
God complains to the Devil and insists that the Devil rebuild the fence. The Devil says, “Sure, no problem. I’ve got all the union leaders over here as well as most of the building contractors.”
So, the fence is rebuilt but it’s three feet to one side so that Hell has taken over three feet of Heaven. God is pissed.
“If you don’t move that fence back,” yells God, I’m going to sue your butt.”
“Yeah, right,” says the Devil. “Where are you gonna get a lawyer?”
What are you implying about Mara???
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
We are, afterall, a nation of laws, not one nation under God…
About Mara???
Mara’s in law school I think… not a lawyer yet… she still has time to be saved… J/K Mara. I was actually cleaning out my inbox and found that old joke someone sent to me several years ago…
My 2 oldest friends are attorneys, so I routinely took pot shots at their chosen profession when they were in law school (although one left the field soon after passing the bar to become a banker).
Q) Why don’t sharks attack lawyers?
A) Professional courtesy.
Q) What do you call 5,000 lawyers on the bottom of the Pacific Ocean?
A) A good start.
I love it!
See… even lawyers think it’s funny!
(*)
Hey, I wonder what I’ll be next… me thinks the little devil will be going away soon.
Hehe — maybe I’ll be a big devil then
Only 6 most comments…
and speaking of comments, where the hell have ‘topher and Trouble been?? Are they on vacation or something???
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Geez, what a dork, that should have read “Only 6 more comments…”
Wish me luck, I’m off to a job interview!
Good Luck PJ.
As for my lack of comments. Christine told me I need to be a better listener.. so I’m practicing here on the blog.
I’m glad he’s practicing somewhere… it’s certainly not when I’m speaking.
And I was wondering that about Trouble too… where do people from the Cayman Islands go on vacation??? Aren’t they always on vacation?
Oh btw, PJ… how’d the interview go?
It was OK, I guess. It was a second interview and I *thought* there might be a job offer coming because the receptionist who called to schedule it said he wanted to talk to me about “working conditions, salary and possible starting dates”. What actually happened was they called back 2 finalists to discuss those things — me (the doughy middle-aged white man) and a young, attractive Indian lady… now, normally in an institution of higher education, I would say she was a no-brainer, but I do feel like the interviewer wants to choose me (as he should
)
Happy Independence Day!!!
(to those of you from Mexico (or other parts unknown) — that’s when we “cut the chord” from Britain and became Americans first — you should try it)
LOL! Happy 4th, everyone!
And I’ll be crossing my fingers for ya, PJ!
I’m going to assume, Christine, that since I’m just a law student I shouldn’t be offended by this
Or, perhaps you are just trying to toughen me up for the years of lawyer jokes to come?!
J: if you’re a law student, you should already have an impenetrable thick skin and a killer’s blood lust — that, or you won’t make it in the legal profession
J… as they’re laughing at lawyer jokes, you can laugh all the way to the bank… so I don’t think you have too much to worry about.
Money cannot buy you love, Christine, but it can buy you a lot of sex which is the important thing.
I got the job!! They are brilliant people, hiring me proves it!!
(8) (8) (8) (8)
I’m happy — I feel like singing!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Hmm, ‘topher, something ain’t right there!!
The musical note is obviously screwed up and the
and the smiling (happy) face conflict too.
Thanks PJ, I hadn’t noticed…
Congrats, PJ
Congratulations, PJ!!! PJ -> (*)
Thank you, thank you very much (
crap — damn formatting — after the parenthesis should have been:
“done in my best Elvis impersonation”
love position
There was this guy see.
He wasn’t very bright and he reached his adult life without ever having learned “the facts”.
Somehow, it gets to be his wedding day.
While he is walking down the isle, his father tugs his sleeve and says,
“Son, when you get to the hotel room…Call me”
Hours later he gets to the hotel room with his beautiful blushing bride and he calls his father,
“Dad, we are the hotel, what do I do?”
“O.K. Son, listen up, take off your clothes and get in the bed, then she should take off her clothes and get in the bed, if not help her. Then either way, ah, call me”
A few moments later…
“Dad we took off our clothes and we are in the bed, what do I do?”
O.K. Son, listen up. Move real close to her and she should move real close to you, and then… Ah, call me.”
A few moments later…
“DAD! WE TOOK OFF OUR CLOTHES, GOT IN THE BED AND MOVED REAL CLOSE, WHAT DO I DO???”
“O.K. Son, Listen up, this is the most important part. Stick the long part of your body into the place where she goes to the bathroom.”
A few moments later…
“Dad, I’ve got my foot in the toilet, what do I do?”
Very cute…
After re-reading this post, I am saddened. This position has NOT been what I had hoped it would be. Office politics and power struggles have forced my boss to resign and I have been told that my position will no longer be funded (effective next July), so I’m looking again…
Peace out, dudes and dudettes
Test message
Sorry me noob…
He said Noob — kind of sounded like BQQB.. he-he
Hello
As newly registered user i only want to say hi to everyone else who uses this board
What is bumburbia?
It’s what we call a suburban area for homeless people — bumburbia.
Ðовый ÑпоÑоб Ð´Ð°Ð²Ð»ÐµÐ½Ð¸Ñ Ð½Ð° кандидата на поÑÑ‚ Главы г. Химки
Ðовый ÑпоÑоб “наказать” тех, кто поÑмел учаÑтвовать в выборной кампании не на Ñтороне дейÑтвующей влаÑти изобрели правоохранительные органы г.о. Химки.
РуководÑтвуÑÑÑŒ не нормой закона, а чьей-то “волей” Ñотрудники милиции решили “проверить” вÑе фирмы, внеÑшие денежные ÑредÑтва в избирательный фонд неудобных кандидатов.
ÐачалиÑÑŒ “проверки” Ñ Ñ‚ÐµÐ»ÐµÑ„Ð¾Ð½Ð½Ñ‹Ñ… звонков – где директор, Ñколько человек работает на фирме. ПоÑле чего поÑледовали “пиÑьма ÑчаÑтьє Ñ Ð¿Ñ€Ð¾Ñьбой предоÑтавить вÑÑŽ бухгалтерÑкую документацию, учредительные документы фирмы, и даже, план ÑкÑпликации БТИ.
Такие запроÑÑ‹ химкинÑким фирмам раÑÑылает 1 отдел Оперативно-розыÑкной чаÑти â„– 9 Ð£Ð¿Ñ€Ð°Ð²Ð»ÐµÐ½Ð¸Ñ Ð¿Ð¾ налоговым преÑтуплениÑм ГУВД МоÑковÑкой облаÑти за подпиÑью начальника подполковника милиции Д.Ð’. Языкова.
И вÑÑ‘ Ñто в то времÑ, когда Президент дал прÑмое указание правоохранительным органам о прекращении вÑех незаконных проверок малого и Ñреднего бизнеÑа. С Ñто целью внеÑены Ð¸Ð·Ð¼ÐµÐ½ÐµÐ½Ð¸Ñ Ð² Федеральный закон “О милиции” – из Ñтатьи 11 Ñтого закона иÑключены пункты 25 и 35, на оÑновании которых ранее правоохранительные органы имели право проверÑÑ‚ÑŒ финанÑово-хозÑйÑтвенную деÑтельноÑÑ‚ÑŒ предприÑтий.
Видно, об изменениÑÑ… дейÑтвующего законодательÑтва меÑтные правоохранительные органы не уведомлены. И не ÑмотрÑÑ‚ телепередачи Ñ Ð²Ñ‹ÑтуплениÑми Президента.
Может быть, Ñта Ð¿ÑƒÐ±Ð»Ð¸ÐºÐ°Ñ†Ð¸Ñ Ð¿Ð¾Ð´Ð²Ð¸Ð³Ð½ÐµÑ‚ их к иÑполнению указаний Президента, а также к изучению и Ñоблюдению дейÑтвующего законодательÑтва
Hey, just i just wanted to remind, tha global I4oTuFskPCc4 is near.
Hey Everbody
I just became a member of this forum
Great work forum crew!
Yesterday I read that there is a treatment for diabetes on http://www.healthcaredaily.org
Can diabetes seriously be cured? The website http://www.healthcaredaily.org looks legit
Could you someone tell me if this healthcare information is for real?
Thanks
Affelrytefe
Our mission is to inform & help people to better understand UseNet and it’s opportunites.
We would like to introduce you to best services and to help YOU with fast forward tips to start using this incredible service to your advantage.
And we would like to explain our opinion why UseNet service is better then Torrent service.
Please visit us at http://www.iloveusenet.com