So tonight I was thinking that it would only be fair to tell the world why Christina and I finally had a melt down. The truth is kind of embarrassing actually.. You see Christine has this fetish that I just recently found out about and it took me awhile to accept. She likes to dress up in stuffed animal costumes.. Like dressing up as Tony the tiger and having sex with other people dressed up in animal costumes.. It’s called “Furries” and it completely freaked me out at first and we had a big fight.. The thing is.. It’s kind of hilarious.. But the the strange thing she isn’t even using her own sexual organs they use the stuffed animals sexual organs…. Now don’t get me wrong I like most of Christine’s kinky shit.. This one just freaked me out a little.. I was totally surprised when she went out and bought me a costume and wanted me to attend her next “Flurries party”.. So that is where our falling out came from… for the most part I’m still not sure where I stand on the whole “Flurries” thing but.. I guess Christina has enough other enduring qualities to keep me around.. But if she drops another bombshell like this.. I don’t know..
Christopher’s version: The highly fictional little blurb you just read.
Christine’s version (aka The Truth): Last night, I was on the phone to Christopher telling him about this poor girl on the radio who found out after she was married that her husband was a “furry” (not “flurry, Christopher, those are the ice cream shakes you get from McDonald’s). The conversation went like this:
Christopher: What the hell’s a flurry?
Christine: Furry. As in furry animal.
Christopher: What’s a furry?
Christine: It’s people who dress up in mascot uniforms of animals and have sex with each other.
Christopher: That’s AWESOME!
Christine: It’s bizarre…
Christopher: No… it’s awesome. You’re gonna dress up like a Husker something and I’ll dress up like a Nittany Lion and I’ll fuck the shit outta you.
Christine: They don’t even use their real sex organs…
Christopher: What do they use?
Christine: The ones on the uniform thingie.
Christopher: Even better!
Christine: Whatever. You won’t even role play with me.
Christopher: This would be role-playing.
Christine: No… role playing is like pilot/flight attendant, or cheerleader/heisman trophy winner, or little lost girl in the scary woods/big, bad stranger–
Christopher: Okay, I got it. I’m going to tell everyone you’re a flurry.
Christine: Furry.
Christopher: Yeah, furry. I’m going to tell them that’s why we almost broke up.
Chritine: Oh, you mean since you took down the post about what an asshole you are which was the real reason why we almost broke up and then deleted all the comments people had posted telling you to stop being such an asshole?
Christopher: Yeah, I took it down because I’m not really an asshole… and because I just found out about your deviant sexual behavior.
Christine: Okay… do what you want…
That was the conversation which explains the above post. I have to say, I’m pretty open to whatever floats your boat, but I’m still having some issues with the furry thing… now if Christopher asked me to dress up like Princess Leah, I might go along with it. But Bugs Bunny… I don’t think so.
You bunch of deviant SICKO’s [Especially you Christine…] I don’t know how you guys think you can justify all this blatantly evil behavior… You fluffy fornicators… Ye shall be judged for corrupting the sacred innocence of the woodland creatures… Oh if Bambi’s mother were only alive today to bear witness to this, she would be spinning in her grave…
Smokey the Bear says ’shame on you’…
yeah, why did u delete that particular post and all the comments on it. hmmm…
I’ll let Christopher answer that one.
Being a Chris who once was with a Kris, I am beginning to see this parallel trend in the male side of the Kris/Chris Race… The turning of tables onto the female Chris, the ignoring or deleting of the negative feedback of male Kris. And yet- we can’t help but love them, as they are so much fun. Ultimately, I gave up my Kris- exchanged him for a Kevin Model. Love y’alls blog- but will forever have to stand on the side of Chrissy, as we all know she will almost always be the one who is RIGHT.
Christine,
You are so Awesome. I love to tell people crazy fictional tales like that.
I bet there is a real group out there like that.
oh yeah chris I am the one who sent u email asking why you took down your post
This is too funny…..furry’s must be the ultimate safe sex!
Except for all the hair-balls…
No… they don’t use their real tongues either.
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how r u?