So last night Christine calls me up and say’s “Hey lets not spend any money tonight”, and I think hell ya I’m down with that.. ( this usually means I’m getting laid all evening and it’s going to be a relatively relaxing evening… ) but last night was a little different. She follows the lets not spend any money with … “Let’s carve pumpkins!”.. I think.. um.. ok… cool that will be fun. So I head over and pick her up.. Before we get out of my car I say “I thought you didn’t want to spend money tonight” to which she responds.. “Chris this is like $10 total.. it’s not like we are poor.. to which I respond.. speak for yourself, we all can’t be famous movie writers.” Anyway I digress.. but in the back of my mind I was thinking I think Christine has forgotten she lives in Los Angeles and even cheap things .. are not so cheap anymore. So as we enter.. I say… “Hey got cash.. cause I don’t think they take American Express”.. she looks at me and rolls her eyes and says.. ya I think I have $20.. and I say “cool we can get either one big pumpkin or two small ones” and she say’s.. “CHRIS we are NOT Sharing… and I’m sure $20 will be enough” I smirk and we continue on.
As we enter the patch there are a line of maybe 15 pumpkins lined up by size.. with a price wrote on them starting at $1 up.. to.. maybe $30 for a good sized pumpkin.. we aren’t talking the great pumpkin size here.. we are talking slightly larger then average pumpkin is $30… I look at Christine and a look of horror is dawning across her face.. she looks at me kind of panicked and I say “hey I can go get money” and she says.. “For the Pumpkin Patch?? No, we will make this work”.. Famous last words right there.
So Christine bounds off to play at the petting zoo.. and I start to observe the situation wondering if there is a possibility angle to get two good pumpkins at a good price, finally the only solution I came up with was to pick up one and walk out.. but that solution would NOT be ok with Christine… and would have been worst then going pumkinless. When we finally started looking at pumpkins ( I had to pull her away form the petting zoo after she caused a stampede that almost kill a little girl, and then she was teasing the goats and I think they were getting ready to start biting her ). Anyway she discovers another $20 in her purse so now we have roughly like $50 bucks between us ( her $49 me $1 ). She goes and picks out a tall pumpkin that is a pretty nice shape and she carries it around lovingly telling it how much she likes it, with a very proud mother look on her face. As we are heading to the to the checkout I grab one of the display pumpkins that is shorter but more round.. pretty much a perfect pumpkin it’s not like they display shitty pumpkins and we are ready to go. At the checkout the guy who tells us the size Jews us out of $2 extra dollars because he makes Christine’s pumpkin a $20 pumpkin instead of $18 but hey it’s ok she is happy and she loves her pumpkin. We deposit them in our car and head home, we get home I carry them up and sit them on the counter top. I grab a knife and get ready to carve and she yells “STOP this is a process and why are you going to carve my pumpkin??” It is at this moment that it dawns on me that the strange look she had in her eyes earlier at the patch when she saw the pumpkin I picked out.. wasn’t approval it was envy and she had spent the drive home mentally abandoning the pumpkin she had chosen so she could get mine. So I tell her I’m 100% sure I have the right pumpkin she makes a stink for maybe 2 minutes before finally saying “I WANT THIS PUMPKIN” … ahh the truth how refreshing… I say “Well if you want it you can have it, you should have just said so. You didn’t need to try and scam it”.
I’ll let it be known, that the first thing I offered was to pick up two pumpkins and bring them over.. which would have solved this whole thing because we would have had two perfect pumpkins instead of one perfect one which she took from me and one pretty good pumpkin but hey and artist is only as good as his materials. On top of having two perfect pumpkins.. they both would have been free.
Final cost: $38.00 for the evening about the cost of an average movie night.
LOL! Okay… for the first time EVER, Christopher actually wrote a post that was true. But in my own defense, there are a few things I will say…
1. I carried that pumpkin around and I know it was mine. Christopher decided he liked mine better because he realized once it got inside and in the light, that the one he picked out had a scar.
2. I did not cause the stampede. The guy standing next to me did.
3. I didn’t tease the goats. I was just trying to make sure that the big ones didn’t take more than their share of the goat pellets that I was trying to give to the baby ones. Although I have to say I find it really sweet when Christopher gets protective of me… as I was pulling my hand away from the big goat and laughing, telling it “No… you’ve had enough already…” Christopher hurries over, pulls my arm out of the pin, and tells me “Stop teasing them… you’re going to get hurt!”
Ahhh… true love.
4. Pumpkin carving is a process… part of the fun is choosing the pumpkin, even though scam artists like the fucktard who owned that pumpkin patch tried to scam us out of another $2 because god forbid he wasn’t making enough on the $7 pony rides and the $3 plastic cups of goat food. :-w
5. I love our pumpkins! They became jack-o-lanterns before our eyes (again… process) and when we sat them up on the deck railing, their eyes all aglow from candlelight inside, it made me remember why Halloween was always my favorite holiday as a kid. And I was glad I got to share it with my boy!
Take note.. as much as she tried to discredited me throughout this post, the truth was in her second sentence. Christopher actually wrote a post that was true
Ask her how sure she is.. 50% .. 70%…, because last night in bed she admitted she was “pretty sure”.
Last night in bed I would’ve said anything to get what I wanted.
So.. how sure are you Christine..
I’m very, very sure that this –> (~~) < – right there… that one is mine…
Wait a sec… (~~)
(~~) :-s (~~) ~X( (~~) @-)
Where are the carved pumpkin pics? You should have attached them with this post
Lol, you guys are total fun
I second for the pumpkin pics too…
I’ll see if I can get some pictures this weekend.. but I’ll warn you.. I was working with flawed materials..
He is just saying that because mine is better.
that’s great guys, you two are just too funny!:)
Sheeet, and all along I thought Christine already had two perfect pumpkins…
Just when you think the conversation can’t possibly come back to my titties… Trouble magically appears.
Trouble’s gf is a hottie, trouble needs to step it up and drop some cleavage shots on his site already.
Christine… Dear girl… What makes you think that them were they what I was refering to? … … … Okay… They was… your fault for posting THAT pic of you on the sofa way back when…
All my GF’sw are hotties Chris… I’m superficial that way… But as you know, the hotter they are the more Trouble they are… I have the cleavage shots… I really should getn around to posting them…
Oh I posted the cleavage shot… hrmmm… funny… as I remember it… that was Christopher’s idea… something about wanting to post cleavage on a Wednesday afternoon or something…
Trouble, couldn’t agree more with both of your points. Hot = moody, a little crazy, but most of all more trouble…. but it also means hot, which makes mostly everything else ok.
Yes, well, hot definately makes up for many of the shortcomings… It’s all fun & games until sombody gets stabbed…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Etymology_of_the_word_Jew#Negative_use
… Indeed, when used as an adjective (e.g. “Jew lawyer”) or verb (e.g. “to Jew someone”), the term Jew is purely pejorative.