The Great Pumpkin Scandle

Posted on October 29th, 2006 by Christopher.
Categories: Hilarious.

So last night Christine calls me up and say’s “Hey lets not spend any money tonight”, and I think hell ya I’m down with that.. ( this usually means I’m getting laid all evening and it’s going to be a relatively relaxing evening… ) but last night was a little different. She follows the lets not spend any money with … “Let’s carve pumpkins!”.. I think.. um.. ok… cool that will be fun. So I head over and pick her up.. Before we get out of my car I say “I thought you didn’t want to spend money tonight” to which she responds.. “Chris this is like $10 total.. it’s not like we are poor.. to which I respond.. speak for yourself, we all can’t be famous movie writers.” Anyway I digress.. but in the back of my mind I was thinking I think Christine has forgotten she lives in Los Angeles and even cheap things .. are not so cheap anymore. So as we enter.. I say… “Hey got cash.. cause I don’t think they take American Express”.. she looks at me and rolls her eyes and says.. ya I think I have $20.. and I say “cool we can get either one big pumpkin or two small ones” and she say’s.. “CHRIS we are NOT Sharing… and I’m sure $20 will be enough” I smirk and we continue on.

As we enter the patch there are a line of maybe 15 pumpkins lined up by size.. with a price wrote on them starting at $1 up.. to.. maybe $30 for a good sized pumpkin.. we aren’t talking the great pumpkin size here.. we are talking slightly larger then average pumpkin is $30… I look at Christine and a look of horror is dawning across her face.. she looks at me kind of panicked and I say “hey I can go get money” and she says.. “For the Pumpkin Patch?? No, we will make this work”.. Famous last words right there.

So Christine bounds off to play at the petting zoo.. and I start to observe the situation wondering if there is a possibility angle to get two good pumpkins at a good price, finally the only solution I came up with was to pick up one and walk out.. but that solution would NOT be ok with Christine… and would have been worst then going pumkinless. When we finally started looking at pumpkins ( I had to pull her away form the petting zoo after she caused a stampede that almost kill a little girl, and then she was teasing the goats and I think they were getting ready to start biting her ). Anyway she discovers another $20 in her purse so now we have roughly like $50 bucks between us ( her $49 me $1 ). She goes and picks out a tall pumpkin that is a pretty nice shape and she carries it around lovingly telling it how much she likes it, with a very proud mother look on her face. As we are heading to the to the checkout I grab one of the display pumpkins that is shorter but more round.. pretty much a perfect pumpkin it’s not like they display shitty pumpkins and we are ready to go. At the checkout the guy who tells us the size Jews us out of $2 extra dollars because he makes Christine’s pumpkin a $20 pumpkin instead of $18 but hey it’s ok she is happy and she loves her pumpkin. We deposit them in our car and head home, we get home I carry them up and sit them on the counter top. I grab a knife and get ready to carve and she yells “STOP this is a process and why are you going to carve my pumpkin??” It is at this moment that it dawns on me that the strange look she had in her eyes earlier at the patch when she saw the pumpkin I picked out.. wasn’t approval it was envy and she had spent the drive home mentally abandoning the pumpkin she had chosen so she could get mine. So I tell her I’m 100% sure I have the right pumpkin she makes a stink for maybe 2 minutes before finally saying “I WANT THIS PUMPKIN” … ahh the truth how refreshing… I say “Well if you want it you can have it, you should have just said so. You didn’t need to try and scam it”.

I’ll let it be known, that the first thing I offered was to pick up two pumpkins and bring them over.. which would have solved this whole thing because we would have had two perfect pumpkins instead of one perfect one which she took from me and one pretty good pumpkin but hey and artist is only as good as his materials. On top of having two perfect pumpkins.. they both would have been free.

;)

Final cost: $38.00 for the evening about the cost of an average movie night.

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