The Husband Store

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. “You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch: you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!”

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 – These men have jobs.

The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 – These men have jobs and love kids.

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 – These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking. “Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 – These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.
“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!”

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 – These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 – You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store!!

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32 Responses to The Husband Store

  1. Lei says:

    LOL! thanks chris for that info, i will remember to stop at floor 5 when i get there :) ) i hope they’re not gays tho :d

  2. Ben says:

    Reminds me of a joke about a man rising through various levels of heaven with a prettier and prettier bevy of eternal companions for his pleasure with the admonition that he can choose to rise higher to “success.”
    Of course, he reaches the highest level and there’s a grotesque, fat and smelly homosexual man.
    “Who are you?” the man demands
    “Me? I’m ‘Cess’!”
    (Get it? “Success” = “Suck Cess” :d)

  3. Christine says:

    I love this story!!!!!

    I would have stopped on floor #3 I think because I would have just been so astounded that guys like the floor 3 guys exist, my knees would have been too weak to make it to the escalator… :-D

  4. Haas says:

    Nice one Chris (much better than the abortion one :P), it got me thinking what would a Wife store have??? Here is my list :P :
    floor 1) Good Looking
    floor 2) Good Looking and Dont Nag
    I hv got many more but am sure you ppl have nicer things to add :)

  5. Haas says:

    Hey good one Chris (much better than the Abortion one :P ). I was wondering what might be the floors in the “Wife Store“(if there was any store like that)…
    Floor 1) Hot
    Floor 2) Hot and Does not Nag
    I hv many more but know u ppl will have much better ones :)

  6. Christopher says:

    Do men really need 6 floors.. ? Come one it seems to me we are a little easier to please.. I would probably stop at Hot & Sexual Nympho

  7. Haas says:

    LOL… come to think about it we are not the very much shopping kind… Odds are we might walk in and pick the first one we see :P

  8. Christine says:

    Christopher’s full of shit…

    If there was a wife store with Hot & Nympho… I would have been married a long time ago. ;-)

  9. Ben says:

    Christine, Are you saying you’re not “Hot & Nympho”? ;)

  10. Ben says:

    Y’know, I posted a complementary joke last night and it didn’t seem to go through…
    A man dies and goes to Heaven. He discovers that the Muslims were right. The degrees of Heaven provide a bevy of women for his pleasure for all eternity. St. Muhammad points to a latter and says, “Climb as high as you wish…”
    He climbs to the first level and there are some homely women. They say, “Stay here or continue to success.”
    He chooses to climb further and as he goes up the women get progressively more lovely and inviting, each time admonishing him to stay or climb to success.
    Finally, he climbs to the top of the ladder and there he finds a fat, ugly, grotesque homosexual man. As he tries to climb back down, the ladder disappears.
    “Who are you and why am I here?”
    The creature responds, “This is your eternal heaven. Didn’t the ladies tell you to climb to success?”
    “Yes,” the man replies.
    “Well, the creature replies with a horrific smile. “I’m Cess.”

  11. Christine says:

    Ben… that could possibly be the worst joke I’ve ever heard… I actually blame you for wasting like 45 seconds of my life…

    And I’m saying that if all guys wanted was hot and nymphy… then “Christine” would be on backorder… ;-)

  12. Christopher says:

    Ya Ya, She’s right.
    All guys want is, Hot, nympho & not prone to stabbing for giggles

  13. Ben says:

    Christine, how do you feel about polygamy? ;)

  14. Christine says:

    Ben… why in the world would I want more than one husband??? Just *dating* more than one guy at a time completely drains me! ;-)

  15. aJ says:

    Ok.. Christine, where do I order ya ;-)

  16. Christine says:

    :d/ LOL… Thanks aJ… but since you live in India… wouldn’t that make me a mail order bride??? ;-)

  17. Christopher says:

    I’ll pay for the shipping.. :-h lol, just kidding.. I’m going to pay for that one…

  18. Christopher says:

    As for polygamy.. Christine totally like having more then one guy around for certain activities but it’s the cooking for multiple guys that drains her.

  19. Christine says:

    The shipping would require first class postage… I think it’s a bit out of Christopher’s range… he’s used to receiving his brides shipped parcel post. LOL!

  20. Christopher says:

    If I would have only know about the return to shipper option when I ordered Christine..

  21. Christine 2 says:

    you guys crack me the fuck up

  22. aJ says:

    Nah.. I might be moving to the US for higher studies so not really a mail order needed :D

  23. Christopher says:

    lol… buyer beware aJ

  24. Splendored says:

    A better ending to that joke would be that the woman got to the 6th floor and there was a sign that said the entire building was empty from floor 2 up, because we all know there are no men out there that are any better than “has a job”. Just kidding, just kidding.

  25. Christine says:

    Actually… here’s a better ending… she bought one, took it home, found it was lazy, messy, and had none of the features it was advertised to have… so she went back to the store, found a sign that said “Returns – Basement,” got down there and the line was so long she decided just to keep the broke husband anyway… ;-)

  26. StephAnie says:

    actually – i saw this joke with another ending. it said that a “wife store” opened up across the street. Floor 1 has wives that were beautiful. Floor 2 had wives who were beautiful and loved sex. and to date, no customer had ever visited Floors 3-6 :\”>

  27. Christopher says:

    See how easy guys are… ;)

  28. Christine says:

    If only they were that easy…

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