The Husband Store

Posted on January 12th, 2006 by Christopher.
Categories: Hilarious.

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. “You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch: you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!”

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking. “Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.
“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!”

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store!!

32 comments.

Here Comes the Bride… »« God’s Wrath

Lei the Mercenary hunt n' pecked this

LOL! thanks chris for that info, i will remember to stop at floor 5 when i get there ) ) i hope they’re not gays tho d

January 12th, 2006

Ben the Kingpin up'n wrote this

Reminds me of a joke about a man rising through various levels of heaven with a prettier and prettier bevy of eternal companions for his pleasure with the admonition that he can choose to rise higher to “success.”
Of course, he reaches the highest level and there’s a grotesque, fat and smelly homosexual man.
“Who are you?” the man demands
“Me? I’m ‘Cess’!”
(Get it? “Success” = “Suck Cess” :d)

January 12th, 2006

aJ the Zen Master uttered

Women [-( !!

January 13th, 2006

Christine the Lioness mentioned

I love this story!!!!!

I would have stopped on floor #3 I think because I would have just been so astounded that guys like the floor 3 guys exist, my knees would have been too weak to make it to the escalator… -D

January 13th, 2006

Haas the Addict said this

Nice one Chris (much better than the abortion one :P), it got me thinking what would a Wife store have??? Here is my list P :
floor 1) Good Looking
floor 2) Good Looking and Dont Nag
I hv got many more but am sure you ppl have nicer things to add )

January 13th, 2006

Haas the Addict quibbed this

Hey good one Chris (much better than the Abortion one P ). I was wondering what might be the floors in the “Wife Store( if there was any store like that)…
Floor 1) Hot
Floor 2) Hot and Does not Nag
I hv many more but know u ppl will have much better ones )

January 13th, 2006

Christopher the Pyro said this

Do men really need 6 floors.. ? Come one it seems to me we are a little easier to please.. I would probably stop at Hot & Sexual Nympho

January 13th, 2006

Haas the Addict up'n wrote this

LOL… come to think about it we are not the very much shopping kind… Odds are we might walk in and pick the first one we see P

January 13th, 2006

Christine the Lioness spake, and sayeth

Christopher’s full of shit…

If there was a wife store with Hot & Nympho… I would have been married a long time ago. -)

January 13th, 2006

Ben the Kingpin scribbled

Christine, Are you saying you’re not “Hot & Nympho”? )

January 13th, 2006

Ben the Kingpin penned this

Y’know, I posted a complementary joke last night and it didn’t seem to go through…
A man dies and goes to Heaven. He discovers that the Muslims were right. The degrees of Heaven provide a bevy of women for his pleasure for all eternity. St. Muhammad points to a latter and says, “Climb as high as you wish…”
He climbs to the first level and there are some homely women. They say, “Stay here or continue to success.”
He chooses to climb further and as he goes up the women get progressively more lovely and inviting, each time admonishing him to stay or climb to success.
Finally, he climbs to the top of the ladder and there he finds a fat, ugly, grotesque homosexual man. As he tries to climb back down, the ladder disappears.
“Who are you and why am I here?”
The creature responds, “This is your eternal heaven. Didn’t the ladies tell you to climb to success?”
“Yes,” the man replies.
“Well, the creature replies with a horrific smile. “I’m Cess.”

January 13th, 2006

Christine the Lioness pontificated

Ben… that could possibly be the worst joke I’ve ever heard… I actually blame you for wasting like 45 seconds of my life…

And I’m saying that if all guys wanted was hot and nymphy… then “Christine” would be on backorder… -)

January 14th, 2006

Christopher the Pyro said this

Ya Ya, She’s right.
All guys want is, Hot, nympho & not prone to stabbing for giggles

January 14th, 2006

Ben the Kingpin spake, and sayeth

Christine, how do you feel about polygamy? )

January 14th, 2006

Christine the Lioness chimed in with

Ben… why in the world would I want more than one husband??? Just *dating* more than one guy at a time completely drains me! -)

January 14th, 2006

aJ the Zen Master asserted

Ok.. Christine, where do I order ya -)

January 14th, 2006

Christine the Lioness remarked

d / LOL… Thanks aJ… but since you live in India… wouldn’t that make me a mail order bride??? -)

January 14th, 2006

Christopher the Pyro asserted

I’ll pay for the shipping.. :-h lol, just kidding.. I’m going to pay for that one…

January 14th, 2006

Christopher the Pyro penned this

As for polygamy.. Christine totally like having more then one guy around for certain activities but it’s the cooking for multiple guys that drains her.

January 14th, 2006

Christine the Lioness quibbed this

The shipping would require first class postage… I think it’s a bit out of Christopher’s range… he’s used to receiving his brides shipped parcel post. LOL!

January 14th, 2006

Christopher the Pyro stated

If I would have only know about the return to shipper option when I ordered Christine..

January 14th, 2006

Christine 2 the Mercenary got all philosophical

you guys crack me the fuck up

January 14th, 2006

aJ the Zen Master uttered

Nah.. I might be moving to the US for higher studies so not really a mail order needed D

January 16th, 2006

Christopher the Pyro uttered

lol… buyer beware aJ

January 16th, 2006

Christine the Lioness penned this

8-|

January 16th, 2006

Splendored the Groupie said this

A better ending to that joke would be that the woman got to the 6th floor and there was a sign that said the entire building was empty from floor 2 up, because we all know there are no men out there that are any better than “has a job”. Just kidding, just kidding.

January 19th, 2006

Christine the Lioness quibbed this

Actually… here’s a better ending… she bought one, took it home, found it was lazy, messy, and had none of the features it was advertised to have… so she went back to the store, found a sign that said “Returns - Basement,” got down there and the line was so long she decided just to keep the broke husband anyway… -)

January 19th, 2006

Splendored the Groupie spake, and sayeth

HA!!!!!

January 19th, 2006

StephAnie the Virgin scribbled

actually - i saw this joke with another ending. it said that a “wife store” opened up across the street. Floor 1 has wives that were beautiful. Floor 2 had wives who were beautiful and loved sex. and to date, no customer had ever visited Floors 3-6 :\”>

February 8th, 2006

Christine the Lioness added

LOL! ) )

February 8th, 2006

Christopher the Pyro uttered

See how easy guys are… )

February 9th, 2006

Christine the Lioness thought this

If only they were that easy…

February 10th, 2006

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