Christine the Lioness (3122)
Christopher the Pyro (1985)
ProphetJoe the Irreverent (1242)
Trouble the Pirate (601)
Keith the Director (573)
Mara the Peacemaker (532)
eric the Lil' Devil (351)
AJ the Zen Master (305)
Ben the Kingpin (213)
Haas the Addict (187) Bellatmot the Addict (179)
Christine 2 the Mercenary (131) Lei the Mercenary (124) Katie the Mercenary (115) Christopher the Pyro stated
Ok.. I can give her credit for understanding me right and knowing what I’m trying to say when I say something incredibly stupid… however I have to admit… I’m really not all that great at following her rules..
When she bought her 4th 50″ plasma and put it next to her cats feeding bowl so Meshia could watch Animal Planet.. I did tell her she was buying a bunch of crap she didn’t need…. (and that she should donate it to me because I’m in need of a tv).
ProphetJoe the Irreverent pontificated
4th 50″ plasma — fuckin A, woman — how much do you make?? Oh wait, that’s right… you don’t have the house with a spouse, a mother-in-law, 3 pre-teen kids and a myriad of animals running around your dwelling…
Christine the Lioness asserted
He’s exaggerating. 
And I’d like to point out that Meisha didn’t comment about what Christopher “needs” or “doesn’t need” when he bought his Wii, X-box 360, and second Playstation. 
Besides, it was an anniversary 
for her… 1 year since I adopted her from the rescue place. A gift we could both enjoy.
ProphetJoe the Irreverent hunt n' pecked this
Was she devastated when Steve Irwin died??
Christine the Lioness commented
As a matter of fact, she was. She didn’t like his alligator stuff, but she tivo’d all the episodes about birds and fish.
Rafael the Freebird the Virgin mentioned
ok. so i was wundering your opinion. Couples understand the love high, when you first meet someone, everything is awsome. But later it gets worse. What can you do or say to keep the relationship on fire?
Christine the Lioness quibbed this
As relationships progress, that “newness” wears off. Think of it like a car. When you first get a new car, you love it. It smells like leather, it handles beautifully, no warning lights come on. You focus on it because it’s new, so you want it to stay that way– you keep it clean, are careful not to park next to a shitty car, check the rearview twice before changing lanes. But despite everything you do, eventually the car isn’t new anymore. You get used to how the car handles so you no longer compare it to how your old piece of crap car handled. You come out and find bird shit on the hood and somehow the extra time it took to find the perfect parking spot doesn’t seem so important anymore. You start to stuff gas receipts into the cupholders instead of taking them inside with you every time you get out of the car. In short, you get comfortable.
That’s what happens in relationships. You can look at this as a good thing or a bad thing. With the “new love,” you were intrigued by the unknown, enticed by discovery, appreciative because when you compared it to what you had before, it ranked light years above. But there are great things about a car that isn’t so new anymore too. It’s comfortable. You don’t have to grab the manual to figure out how to use the GPS anymore– you know exactly what to do and it’s easy. It’s reliable. In some ways, it’s molded to your body. The seat is already adjusted, the radio stations already programmed, and those little things make life a bit less stressful and more convenient.
Relationships, in my opinion, can get better with time while a new relationship– no matter who it’s with– will always feel the same– it will feel exciting and fun because it’s a new relationship. But in new relationships, you tend to find out things about the other one that maybe you don’t like, or didn’t know. You come across things that you need to help the other one deal with. You need to earn their trust. You worry that it won’t work out. You worry that you’ll fall in love with them, but they won’t love you back. That part all sucks.
Old relationships have made it past all that. You understand the person a little better, where they come from, why they do what they do, what they like in bed, what you should stock your ‘fridge with for when they come over. At that point, you begin to build a friendship that’s much more gratifying than the transient feelings created by “new love.”
To keep things “on fire,” I think you just need to make an effort to first, continue to grow as an individual because your new interests and accomplishments give them new things in you to stay interested in. You also need to grow as a couple. Try new things together. Do things the other person wants to do. Make an effort to care about whatever it is they are into at the time.
For example, this past year or so, Christopher has gotten really into stocks and trading. He likes to talk about stocks, the Dow, sectors, analysts. At first, this annoyed me because I felt like I couldn’t really converse about it since I didn’t really know much about it and his constant discussion of stocks I found boring. And I made a mistake. I told him I wished he didn’t talk about stocks so much. It wasn’t until after I did that that I realized how wrong it was. This was something he was really into and wanted to share with me. By asking him not to discuss it, I was sort of shutting down a part of him that made him happy and I was essentially driving a wedge between us. So I learned my lesson. And while I haven’t done as much self-educating as I would like to so far about the stock market, I did take a class on investing, am reading a book about it, and try to take in and understand everything Christopher tells me. I think he appreciates my effort.
And this past month, Christopher agreed to take a ballroom dancing class with me because it’s something I’ve always wanted to do. I know he couldn’t care less about learning how to dance, but because it’s important to me, he’s doing it.
Those are the things I think keep a relationship going strong. And that can be applied to every aspect of your life.
My two cents. We really need a penny graphic. That would be cool. Let’s trade out that pink face that no one EVER uses. 
Mara the Peacemaker stated
Hey, let me know how the ballroom dancing class goes. I’m thinking Chris and I should take dance lessons before the wedding…
ProphetJoe the Irreverent mentioned
I’m 
I haven’t used this emoticon more… but still, a penny or a dollar sign would be nice…
Trouble the Pirate commented
…so you’re saying that just like cars… Women lose 20% of their value after the first time they’re driven, then continue to fall-apart, drain your wallet dry, fade & depreciate to negligible value with age?
Notice to Chris: The car in Christine’s analogy has leather and GPS… 
Christine the Lioness penned this
How did you make the leap that the car was the female part of the relationship, Trouble? I was actually using it to describe the relationship as it’s own entity.
Trouble the Pirate got all philosophical
Well said though Christine… One point I think you downplayed, and I think Chris & PJ will both agree… And I realize that your eloquently worded comment was broad enough to encompass it, but sexuality plays a large part in the whole “keep the relationship on fire” thing that Raf the Freebird questioned…
Both parties have to be aware of, and comfortable with their own sexuality, as do they have to be mostly aware of, and comfortable with their partner’s sexual inclinations and libido. A mismatch is certain doom for the relationship.
There has to be a willingness in both parties to explore the past, present and future possibilities as they pertain to their combined sexuality, open mindedness being a key component as well.
I could expound… but I won’t…
Trouble the Pirate stated
“jumping” to a conclusion… Is by definition a “leap”…
Christine the Lioness added
Very true, it is.
The sex facet of this is interesting. I guess I assumed that if two people are experiencing that “fiery new love,” they are engaging in hot, mutually satisfying sex at that point, so they are, indeed, sexually compatible. If great sex was there at the beginning, I don’t think the “loss of fire” has anything to do with either one of them being a sexual mismatch.
It’s been my experience that keeping the spark alive in the bedroom has a lot to do with keeping the relationship good and fresh and new in and of itself. I’ve thought about this at some length because with my ex, after three years, I had no real interest in having sex with him and his libido started to annoy me. With Christopher, I am (now more than three years in) and just as attracted to him as ever and I love having sex with him. I think the difference is, with my ex, the relationship was going stale and that affected my sex drive. With Christopher, we constantly reinvent ourselves so to speak and sex is still fun and exciting.
I think if the problem for couples is the lack of spark in the bedroom, then the embers are going out in other aspects as well, and reigniting the fire in the relationship part will then cause the flames to jump to the bedroom as well.
If sex was never “good” because of the things Trouble mentioned (or other reasons), than yes, you could be sexually mismatched and probably will be better off just being friends anyway.
Christine the Lioness chimed in with
One other thing to help make my point… I think in order for sex to be great, it has to involve both people being willing to give more than they receive. The “giving” part has to be satisfying to the individuals as well as the receiving part. When you feel loved and doted on and cared about by your partner, that giving side comes more naturally because you care that they’re experiencing pleasure. If the relationship isn’t good, you tend to care less about whether your partner is having a good time and just want to get off yourself.
I think in early stages of relationships, when people are still trying to impress the other person into wanting to continue to date them, they go out of their way to be good in bed as an enticement to keep the other person interested. But that will quickly go away and if a solid relationship (the kind that makes you care whether or not the other person is being sexually gratified) doesn’t develop, the sex will go down hill rather quickly.
ProphetJoe the Irreverent up'n wrote this
“…so you’re saying that just like cars… Women lose 20% of their value after the first time they’re driven, then continue to fall-apart, drain your wallet dry, fade & depreciate to negligible value with age?”
So.. if women are sporty cars.. then men are like big commercial dump trucks — big, slow, physically capable, but definitely not glamorous nor fashionable. We continue to plug along, day after day, making money and carrying a heavy load with only an occasional breakdown. We’re steel and dirt, not leather and GPS.
Oh, we also depreciate, but at a somewhat slower rate. After all, sexy depreciates quickly with age — big and slow is pretty much a constant state…
ProphetJoe the Irreverent chimed in with
Just in case, ‘topher takes your suggestion to heart, ‘tine.
Trouble the Pirate uttered
By jove PJ, I think you’ve got it!
“I guess I assumed that if two people are experiencing that “fiery new love,” they are engaging in hot, mutually satisfying sex at that point, so they are, indeed, sexually compatible. If great sex was there at the beginning, I don’t think the “loss of fire” has anything to do with either one of them being a sexual mismatch.”
Christine… You seem to understand what I’m getting at, except for the above…
The “fiery” part can cloud most people’s conclusion as to how actually “hot & mutually satisfying” the sex is. Most people don’t know enough about each other’s kinks, wants & needs, to really HAVE good sex… I mean past the point of the cliche “hot sex” perpetuated by Hollywood…
The mismatch I’m referring to comes about because of the whole “putting one’s best foot forward to impress” stage… After you’ve done it in the kitchen, on your mom’s couch, etc… even after a few weeks when you’ve done anal… THEN one party really takes it to the next level, like wanting a golden shower, auto-asphyxiation, or even something slightly more kinky like an orgy with your sister, a midget, a transvestite hooker, a Shetland-pony and a kiddie-pool filled with baked-Alaska…
THAT’S where a mismatch, previously unknown, might come about…
Mara the Peacemaker pontificated
Lol, Trouble. I have a friend that happened to actually. Well, not the midget…
Christine the Lioness added
Mara, you cannot make a statement like that and not give details.
Okay… I think I’ve just been inspired to do my next post.
Mara the Peacemaker stated
Okay, this, IMO, is kind of gross but…he liked having sex when she was menstruating. She wasn’t bothered by it initially…her attitude was “if you aren’t grossed out, then neither am I and that’s what showers are for.” Except when she discovered he like putting the menstrual blood all over his body. I KID YOU NOT. I don’t know what the fuck that was about but if Chris were to ever come up with some shit like that…I might be provoked to kill him.
Christine the Lioness scribbled
Wow. Not sure what to say but I honestly didn’t think that’s where that story was going.
I wouldn’t kill a guy for that, but I think I’d get the hell out pretty quick too.
Raff the Virgin remarked
ok, so here is how i see it. its been 11 months, and everything seemed great. The problem was that when we started to go out, she spent all her time with me and left her friends out there. I like when the girl im with spends time with me, but i have to admite, it was very sad. Because her friend where good people and i told her, but hey it just kept going. So about 5 months in we hit the summer break, and she started to spend time away from me and with her family. (they went to jamaica, LUCKYS!!) but when she came back, she wasnt the same. She got a taste of being away from me, and well i guess she liked some of it. Well i stuck around and held on tight. (not really tight, but u get what i mean, i stuck around) and we started talking about some problems. We’ll her friends and her started to talk again and became friends again. That left me with less time to spend with her and haveing to befriend her frineds. (which dont liek me) but we stayed together, but here is that thing. I talk to her friends, but she doesnt like that so i stoped, but now they dont like me because i dont befriend them. Sex is iight between us. I picked up a karama sutra book the other day and read it, then she asked if she could borrow it, and now the extream sexual drive is back. try some new things and what not. Problem is that, we have broken up for about 3 weeks now and are going through the dating phase again. Sais she doesnt want to be fack to me and love me back the way that i love her. What do you make of that? Thanks, love the car thing too.
Mara the Peacemaker spake, and sayeth
Well, he didn’t actually do it with HER. He wanted to and asked her if she would be okay with it and that was just a little too kinky for her.
Christine the Lioness pontificated
The whole thing with the situation Mara described is that, well, there is kinkier stuff out there. Some people would read that and think “so what?” And here we are all touting that one partner should be open to trying what the other partner is into, so it’s a bit hypocritical to imply this guy is a freak. I have to admit if i were in her situation though, not only would I tell the guy I’m not into it, but it would probably end up being the thing that broke us up because I don’t know if I could get past it. I’m sure there’s some girl out there who’d be into it (there are guys who are into red-winging)… but the problem is, when stuff gets too kinky, to find someone who is cool with it, you basically limit the number of people in your eligible dating pool and once you do that, the odds of finding someone who will also want to date you for all the other reasons besides sex, wanes as well.
Christine the Lioness thought this
Raff,
First, let me say that I think it’s great that your explanation of the situation seemed to be pretty objective. You give the facts.
My opinion on this, is that at this point, things between you and her are a little too complicated. There’s a lot going on with the sex, and you needing to hang out with her friends so that they like you, and you wanting to be with her but she’s now not quite as sure as she was before she went to Jamaica, etc.
My advice is to break it off– not continue to date or be bed buddies or anything. Just end it. Spend some real time away from each other. Give her a chance to break ties and even date some other people. In doing that, she’ll really be able to decide if she wants to be with you or if she feels better off without you. You’ll be able to do the same thing. If it turns out that in about 4 or 5 months, you haven’t found someone to date and are missing this girl, call her up. If she’s not dating anyone and is still interested in you, then you’ll be able to start over and pick up your relationship without all this extra stuff that seems to be hanging over you guys’ heads.
I know that is sometimes difficult advice to receive because our natural inclination is to want to hang on and fix the problem at the same time. But the only way to see to the bottom of a pool sometimes is to get out of the water.
Raff the Virgin thought this
Very true. one thing that I did not mention because i wanted to see what the answer would be. We are currently going through the dating process again. We broke it off, and we understood that if that at any point it didnt not seem to work, then no harm done, we move on and leave. Good thing is that as much as we agree to this, we both still love each other. I can’t look at any other girl, I just cant stand it. Guys might call that being pussy whiped or w/e but fact stands that if you do not respect your girl enough to stand by her and be there for her emoutional stuff (some might be some shit, but hey i never tell her that) then you fix alot of stuff, but what i want her to understand is that she has her friends and they are there for alot of that. And by giving them that, she gains there trust, i get alittle quite of mind and can relax. At this very moment, she is at a party with her friends, fact of course, i dont like that but from this situation, I can see where i stand. Will she meet someone who adds the sparkle back in her life, or will it be me who she is calling at night telling me she loves me and misses me. Thats where I stand at the moment. Chirs, please tell me where you think I stand and what not. Thanks for the previous help.
NutFoodE the Virgin quibbed this
Clare’s britney spears y kevin federline of christina aguilera nip slips overtaken whiplash to bounce her semicolon toward the britney spears ass slip across the way.
Trouble the Pirate chimed in with
I couldn’t have said it better myself…
ProphetJoe the Irreverent stated
I thought TtP was drunk-bloggin again!
Mara the Peacemaker got all philosophical
WTF…?
Christine the Lioness up'n wrote this
And they say illiteracy is a problem… pu-shaw!
Names and emails are required (emails aren't displayed), url's are optional.
