The Lost Art of Being a Good Wife

1. Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the nigth before , to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and concerned about his needs.

2. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’;ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch-up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking.

3. Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached his haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

4. Be happy to see him.

5. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

6. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first – remember his topics of conversation are more important then yours.

7. Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

8. Don’t complain if he’s home late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compaired to what he might have gone through during the day.

9. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in low, sootheing and pleasant voice.

10. Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

11. A good wife always knows her place.

10 thoughts on “The Lost Art of Being a Good Wife

  1. I think these rules were created back when:
    1. The groceries for the “prepared dinner” were paid for by the man,
    2. When the woman had time to “prepare herself” because she didn’t have a longer commute after her 12 hour work day than her husband did,
    3. Fires were actually used to help heat a house instead of the cracker-box apartment that again, the woman pays for herself, because there ain’t no man writing out my rent checks,
    4. Is happy to see him until he walks in the door and starts bitching at her about the way she parked her car too close to the support beams in the car port,
    5. It’s hard to greet someone with a smile (or a frown) when you’re still stuck in traffic on the 405,
    6. Men used to talk and converse… but that was before X-boxes and Playstations
    7. If he’s going out without you, it’ll probably be the only evening you have to take a bubble bath and watch something besides Sportscenter on tv, so rejoice…
    8. And whatever you do, definitely don’t correct his spelling of “compaired.”
    9. Arranging the pillow is easy, but taking off his shoes can be a challenge when he’s already kicked them off and you’re having trouble locating one, hoping you don’t trip on it.
    10. Don’t ask a question that you don’t want to know the answer to. For real.
    11. A good wife’s place used to be by the side of a good husband, on the good husband’s yacht, in a Perry Ellis swimsuit and Harry Winston diamonds that good husband bought for her as a gift on their anniversary which he actually wrote down somewhere so he wouldn’t forget. And yes, a good husband deserves a good wife. ;-)

  2. I’d rather live in a society where divorce is possible/ accepted then to be forced to stay with an asshole :)
    If I choose to stay with an asshole well then I am just stupid and asking for misery.

  3. I agree that having the option to divorce is better than not having it. But the problem is, people use that as a reason not to take marriage seriously… “Oh, if it doesn’t work out, I’ll just get divorced.” The same with abortion. Abortion should be legal because it’s necessary… but the problem is that there are women who use it as an alternative to birth control… “Oh, I can just fuck him without a condom and get an abortion if I get pregnant.” Having freedoms shouldn’t become a fall-back to just make poor decisions (or not take decisions seriously). So my point is… maybe you shouldn’t marry an asshole to begin with and that could solve the problem too. :-?

  4. definetly not marrying an asshole could solve the prob. My Chris and I waited a while to marry. We lived together for 4 or 5 years first, and there were somethings I made sure of before we got hitched. Like no drugs/ (excessive) alcohol because I didn’t want to raise kids with that around. All was good- we got married– all is good now.

    sometimes women marry an idea and not a real person-hindsight is 20/20
    I don’t think people make poor decisions consiously–mostly people protect themselves with denial, and when they come out of it that is when things like divorce happen. My first relationship was like that. I was attached to an idea, then got real and got out.

    people do change—you could marry a “normal guy” and shit happens to him so he becomes an alcoholic who refuses treatment
    was a poor decision made– yes by the guy not getting treatment– a divorce could wake him up to what he will be losing

    in sickness and health is all good but enabling isn’t

    I think it is a very small percentage of women who use abortion as birthcontrol, and well I think they have lots more problems than just that. People who are rushing into marriage, making poor decisions, I think also may have some issues they are not dealing with

  5. All good points, fuzz.

    I don’t know the statistics on how many women who get abortions also get more than one. I agree that most women who are putting themselves in situations where they are getting pregnant and there is no responsible father in the picture are engaging in other risky behaviors that probably aren’t good for them. The guys who comment on this site can say all they want about how great it is to find some girl who will fuck them and then not want a commitment from them, but girls who are doing that kind of stuff aren’t exactly the kind of girls who are always making the healthiest decisions for themselves. And they also tend to be the ones who wind up pregnant and then having to sue the fathers for paternity. The girls I know who have had abortions tend to also drink a lot, do drugs, choose complete losers for guys. The women I know who have higher standards in the men they date, are focused on careers and success, and don’t party all the time don’t seem to be having abortions. But that’s another post altogether… back to the issue of divorce…

    It’s true people can change. But I think your point about denial is much more pertinent. You are either in denial about that person to begin with… excusing behavior or thinking it will change… or you are in denial about the relationship going down hill and don’t do anything to fix it in time… then find yourself in the middle of something that can’t be fixed at all.

    What I don’t agree with is that when shit happens to a “normal guy,” they suddenly go off the deep end and become alcoholics. If you spend time with a person, you’ll see how he handles set backs in his life. He’ll show you if he’s a strong person or a weak one. You just have to be willing to open your eyes and accept what you’re seeing.

    I almost married the wrong person also, so I’m not preaching or above all this behavior. My ex was an alcoholic and my loyalty prevented me from leaving when I first realized that the relationship was in trouble.

  6. I can totally relate to this.. my denial keeps me from leaving Christine, even tho she is violent and spends her days thinking up new and unusual ways to inflict physical and emotional pain on me. Alas I guess being aware of denial doesn’t actually allow you to come out of it… I have a feeling that Christine might say “When he comes out of denial, he will realize how great I am” ;) Right C?

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