The Rookie Cop

Posted on January 3rd, 2008 by Christine.
Categories: Hilarious.

On the first day of his job, a rookie cop had just put up a speed trap on the highway when a car came whizzing past. He flipped on his siren and pulled the car over. When he walked up to the driver’s window, he saw it was an old lady inside.

Surprised that it wasn’t some young teenager, he said, “Ma’am, do you know how fast you were going?”

“I wasn’t speeding if that’s what you’re suggesting,” said the old lady with a dismissive wave of her hand as she sighed and then crossed her arms.

A little shocked by the old lady’s attitude, the cop said, “According to the meter, you were, so… can I see your license please?”

“I don’t have a license,” said the old lady without making eye contact with him.

Thinking this is strange, the cop said, “Well, how about showing me your registration then…”

“I don’t have one of those either,” said the old lady making a point of showing how annoyed she was.

“The car has plates. It has to have been registered by somebody. You don’t own the car?” he asked.

“No. The person who owns the car is back there.”

“Where?” asked the cop.

“In the trunk,” said the old lady.

Shocked that he may have just inadvertently stopped someone involved in a much bigger crime than speeding, the cop asked the old woman to get out of her car. She complied and he went back to his car and picked up his radio.

“This is Officer Mickelson requesting assistance. It seems that I may have just pulled over a car with a body in the trunk,” he said. The dispatcher told the young officer she’d send someone right away.

A few minutes later, a senior officer pulls up in his patrol car and gets out. Together, he and the young officer, careful not to destroy any possible evidence, open the trunk. There’s nothing but a bag of groceries inside.

The senior officer walked over to the old lady, confused. “Ma’am… there’s nothing in your trunk but a bag of groceries.”

“I know,” said the old lady.

The senior officer exchanged a look with the rookie and then said, “Ma’am, what’s your name?”

The old lady replied, “It’s Mabel Jensen. Here… it’s right here on my license.” She reaches into her glove box and pulls out her driver’s license and hands it to the officer. The rookie just stared slack-jawed.

The senior officer turns to the rookie and says, “I thought you said she didn’t have one.”

“She said she didn’t,” says the rookie.

“Does this car belong to you, Ma’am?” asked the senior officer.

“Of course. See… it’s my name on the registration.” She pulls out her registration and hands it to the officer. “Did he tell you that I didn’t have registration for my car?” she asks.

The senior officer nods.

The old lady shakes her head. “Well I suppose that liar told you I was speeding too.”

5 comments.

Plugging Along Into The New Year »« Happy, Happy 2008!

Raven the Groupie hunt n' pecked this

Wow, I’m glad I’m not him. Eek.

Though props to the lady for being really clever (y)

January 3rd, 2008

Christine the Lioness got all philosophical

I don’t think people are really responding to that joke.

Okay. Here’s another one…

An old man was on his death bed. He’d practically given up on life… his health had failed, he hadn’t accomplished even half of his life goals, and his wife barely spent a moment talking to him. He’d run out of books to read, and seen all the re-runs on television. He was about to surrender himself to death when… a delicious scent came wafting into his room. It was a smell he remembered from childhood when his own grandmother would bake fresh, chewy, chocolate chip cookies. The old man sat up suddenly invigorated. He got out of bed and made his way down the hall to the kitchen where he saw six dozen gooey chocolate chip cookies spread out on baking sheets, fresh out of the oven. His eyes lit up. His mouth watered. It’s amazing, he thought, how the little pleasures in life can mean the most…

He reached down and picked up one of the perfectly browned cookies, feeling its warmth between his fingers. He brought the cookie to his lips, inhaling its scent. Just as he was about to take a bite, he heard a voice come from the laundry room. It was the voice of his wife.

“Don’t touch those cookies, Marvin! They’re for your funeral!”

January 4th, 2008

Christopher the Pyro penned this

First one.. freaking hilarious… second one.. that hits too close to home!

January 5th, 2008

Christine the Lioness added

Are you on your death bed, babe? (

January 5th, 2008

Christopher the Pyro pontificated

No… but I’m pretty sure that is exactly what you would do to me in that situation!

January 6th, 2008

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